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All posts for the month October, 2014

After getting out of jail, I found myself at a bit of a loss. Great, I’m back with my wife, I have a FUCKING FELONY CHARGE on my head, and NOT JUST a felony, but a felony with the BIG  SCARY WORD  TERRORISTIC in it. Have no job, yeah you try to get one with that hanging over your head,see how lucky you get. What to do, what to do. Then it hit me, between August, 2011 and what was my final film credit in January, 2013. I had the opportunity to take up acting. Now until 2011 my only experience, and oddly with far more extensive roles was on stage. On film for the most part I was an extra or what I like to call a set piece with a heart beat. I have done two commercials, two short films, One thankfully uncredited scene where it was just my hands that was not even seen for shitty lighting in an extremely shitty indie horror flick, originally called “Porkchops,” since renamed “Porkchop 2.” One episode of the History Channels Mini-Series “The Men Who Built America” where I was a steel mill worker, and in my biggest bit part I was The Auctioneers assistant Jesse in the critically acclaimed film by James Franco “Child Of God”. My only other big screen appearance hasn’t or may NOT happen, it was supposed to have a 2014 release, but there has been no word of when. A movie called  “Another You”   I digress from my point, after my arrest was put on blast, I noticed that my IMDB page shot up to over 2,000,000 views. I never did get to go into using that to my advantage the way I had wanted to, there was far to much going on at home and such, and even later, I finally reached a decision to say “Goodbye to Hollywood” because I was sick of how the system politics works in performing arts as a whole, or at least how it works in the state of West Virginia, and I was wanting to get back into my first passion of writing. I was gearing my mind to reverse my situation, it was just unfortunate that the timing sucked and the worst for me was still yet to come. It would take me another year and getting out from under that GODDAMN FELONY CHARGE, before I was finally in a position to start moving forward again. I had failed at first, but don’t ever let that discourage your ass from trying to out think your situation, that’s what keeps your mind straight when it should be bent to Hell and back by the shit you get hit with.

We are up to September 25th, 2013, I had already been shown just how expendable I was to the people I did my volunteer work for, at the hand of the person whose strength I bolstered, my wife who became President of that little theater. I had spent a night on suicide watch, been arrested and thrown in jail for eight days and had my name blasted the country over for something that had YET to be proven I even did. With nowhere to go I was forced back into living with my wife. I was even prepared to give things ONE MORE CHANCE, but the law I laid down is that we be EQUAL henceforth. She would never admit to over reacting, even though she knew where I was, who I was with and that I was over fifty miles away from her by CHOICE, so there was no reason to get a damn DVP on my ass in the first place and even less reason to say that it was for MY OWN GOOD. It was around this time that I started half-joking that I was going to come out the other side of this whole ordeal a new Slim Shady. The following was written with a practical point of view in mind. There are roughly to date an estimated 137,838 educational facilities operating in the U.S. and I do not even know for certain if that number includes anything like vocational schools. Those numbers come from the National Center for Education Statistics. Now between 1980 and 2012 there had been roughly 137 INCIDENTS where there were fatal school shootings with a death toll equaling 297. That is what? I’m not good at math like one percent of the total number of facilities in the U.S. over a course of 32 years? I’m not down playing the tragedy when shit like this happens, I wished to God it didn’t, but to throw every little thing in the face of the people until, every Goddamn parent in America is afraid to send their kids to school, and the mere use of red flag words NOT to make a THREAT but a POINT aimed at getting people to take a little deeper look into a POSSIBLE root of the problem is FUCKING RIDICULOUS. The media would have us seeing threats around every corner, not because they GIVE A FUCK about protecting us through informing the people but rather in jarring us so we’ll watch even more of the shit they spew.

 

From Sept. 25th, 2013.

I love you mamma, but you and Mr. Rogers was wrong. When I was kid and I wanted to fly like Superman, you told me it was make believe. Now I’m 34 and I have learned a terrible truth. You should have told me that it was fiction, because make believe is what happens when people twist what you see in reality itself. Like when we turn the person who died in a car wreck on I-64 from being the person that would have been remembered fondly by 30 or 40 people as a friend or family member in to the person that is remembered by 5 to 10,000 readers/viewers as the poor bastard who got smeared on the side of the road on I-64. You know when it didn’t change a traffic law in that area,when it didn’t lead to stiffer penalties for reckless driving, and when it did nothing for the people working the graveyard shift who would pass that same area…oh 5 hours after it was already cleaned up. You know when there was nothing that could really constitute it as “News” everyone is destined to draw the short straw sooner or later that’s not news, that’s life, and no cause to be so disrespectful to the victims memory, just because you know deep down that you can’t stand up to the competition in places where really real shit happens. Well shit if that’s worth hearing about, how about the 20,000 plus cars that went by that same spot before, during and after the accident that absolutely nothing happened to? More good shit happens than anything that gets shoved in our faces under the guise of what really is, and we wonder why there are so many assholes in our society. You’ve had your turn blaming our movies,our music, our video games. Ever think that the real fucking problem is what you try to convince people is real?

Alright, so far I have blasted you with a bunch of Woe is Me Bullshit, now let me take a moment to look on the bright side…. Yes pessimists, life has those too, but the trick is not knowing WHERE to look for it, but rather HOW to look for it. I thought it only fitting for this EXAMPLE, to use a tale from my recent months that I’ll just call:  “THINGS NO OFFSPRING SHOULD EVER HEAR THEIR FATHER SAY, WHEN THEY ARE HALF ASLEEP.”

 

My father and I were on the road, I was sick as a damn dog (and you get the story on that later as well.) I was nodding off in the passenger seat, drawn into that weird kind of half asleep, half awake mode caused by the discomfort of sleeping in cars. When I hear.  ” I want to feel your lips around the head of my dick.” It’s like one of those moments in a horror movie where the victim very slowly opens their eyes as if the speed at which they do it is somehow going to magically make what they just know is there any less horrible. Whuuuu?   the fuck? I thought.  “DICK!!!!” Suddenly the truck swerved slightly but enough to bounce my head off the passenger side window. “Ahh man What the FUCK??!!!” I exclaimed, as I looked over and saw my father precariously juggling his cell phone with his driving duties. “You son of a bitch….oh you’ll write that.” He said. Apparently his text now read I want to feel your lips around the head of my you son of a bitch, because his voice command texting seems to have an easier time registering a phrase like you son of a bitch then it does a simple four letter word, even screamed like DICK!!!! Again we swerve as he erases the error to try again. “DICK!!!!!”  I sat there just staring in amazement at the pitiful scene, I mean how the fuck can a person even attempt to get off being that aggravated anyway, unless you’re counting make up sex, but that’s got face to face value for the revving up of animalistic instinct. My brother and I laugh at this story because he had the same thing happen to him, only that time he and dad were in a motel room for the night. Now my brother being a more excitable person than I am had jumped out of his bed yelling. “Motherfucker I will shoot you.” Yeah, my life has never been RIGHT for so many reasons. Heh Heh Anyway on to the point, when something this traumatizing occurs you have yourself a few options. One, you can let that shit haunt you for the rest of your life, and if that haunting is of your father yelling “DICK!!!” while you are trying to sleep, dude I can sympathize, believe me. Two, you can get all care bear offended by the sexual perversion of the situation as a whole. Three, just say fuck it and take the lesson for what it is. That latter was the option I chose, I had enough haunting my ass at that point anyway, so the lesson I chose to take from it. Until voice command texting reaches fucking Starfleet standards, using voice command functions for sexting is not but an exercise in epic fucking frustration. You see? It really is all in HOW you look at it.

After I left my wife, I went to work on a mutual friends farm, I was trying to clear my head, not only from 16 years worth of a bad relationship, but also from the effect of the psych med Seroquel that had landed me in the hospital on suicide watch. It took my wife two days to figure out where I was, by my own fuck up in saying go ahead and tell her I am here, I still don’t want to talk to her though. I continued about my merry way for another few days before I had three assault rifles aimed at the back of my head and a shot gun, courtesy of Roane County Sheriffs Department. I had Homeland Security, FBI, and even a home confinement van involved in my arrest, that I accepted with no fight. I will first tell you how this happened. Upon learning of my whereabouts, my wife went to the Kanawha County court house to level a mental hygiene warrant on me, even though she knew that I was staying with a mutual friend. Because it was no use to do so where I was not in the county that it would be issued, she then decided to make it a DVP (Domestic Violence Petition) and added a shit ton of posts from my Facebook, most of which were just random thought’s, jokes, and such and a few moments of reflection from the time I was having. When that DVP got into the hands of Roane County Sheriffs department, ONE ( Hell 1/2 sentence got taken out of context of the overall point that was being made.) The result was a warrant for my arrest, carried out on AUGUST 29th, 2013. The following is that post.

 

August 25th, 2013

Keep being scared to death over spiders, snakes, rats, death, heights. The only thing that truly terrifies me, is what would become of me the day the wrong Wolf gets fed for the last time, because it’s a beast that understands that a sadness, a doubt, a truth, or a fear can be twisted in a persons heart as effectively as any blade, and the ripples from that twist while slow burning, can be spread just as far as a tactic as common and cheap as a 5 cent romance novel in a thrift shop, that is grabbing a gun and clearing a class room. and would leave me alive and free to continue my work. What you never knew was that every good thing I have ever done, from simple to grand was done to keep that beast that everyone on here has got a taste of recently at bay, or what that struggle has cost me just to keep believing that the good is worth it. I’m not going religious here but someone out there likes every one enough to let Karma show me why I should not be that beast every time it gets on a roll. Here’s hoping my fresh start can keep that bitch caged for good this time.

 

Take a wild guess which half sentence got my ass locked up. After my bond release on September 6th, 2013. I had everyone telling me to just sit on it all, but at this point I was just fed up with everything. All I wanted was my freedom from a marriage that didn’t work and to be left alone. Instead what I got for being the person who normally kept to themselves and even had a history of doing volunteer work at a local community theater, and other things such as fundraisers for the hospitals in the area, was eight days in 22 hour lock down, only to find out that FOX NEWS, having got wind of my arrest, put my ass on blast Nationwide as a Terrorist. The following was my response to this issue.

September 10th, 2013

 

I want to apologize first off, to everyone, I know you care, and you want what is best for me, but I am not the kind of person who can sit on their hands and do nothing, I love you, but you don’t have the same thing at stake as I do, and I need you to understand that. I wrote a post, that described essentially how words can be as damaging as any physical weapon, and how I did not want to be the kind of person who would do that damage, not on purpose. Little did I know when I wrote that post that I would become the center piece of a fiasco that beautifully illustrated the very meaning of it. This is my statement against the press, because there is a huge difference between telling people what they deserve to know, and telling them only what you want them to know. And two weeks ago, I had my face, my name, my life put on display nationwide, which I would not have a problem with, if they had bothered using the source of my statements in it’s entirety and not just the cliff notes written by an officer to justify getting a warrant signed for my arrest. This discrepancy is made worse for me because it has been the only side that any one who would be selected as a member of a jury knows, about me. Two weeks and no one in the press has bothered trying to find that post in it’s entirety to let me be judged in the peoples eyes by that, and not just the half sentences they already know. I can’t let that stand, there is a bigger picture here, one that makes the difference, when we tell people that in this great country a person is innocent until proven otherwise. Proven is not the same thing as being coerced into believing something. It is bad enough that every case like mine that is forged through a misunderstanding helps destroy a little piece of the integrity of our attempts to keep the peace and protect our people, and it leaves the door open, for it to happen to other innocent “Americans.” This is all I will say, I want no interviews, I will not discuss my case any further then what I have just stated, and I will not disparage the men who were doing there jobs when I was arrested. All I ask is for an equal opportunity to let the whole statement be known.