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All posts for the month May, 2015

Not quite a year ago, from a remote location on a mountain top…..

War! After being pushed into isolation the former ENFORCER to the Empress of the local art scene in Charlie West sought to go into hiding. HUNTED by the Empress herself and her minions, the former ENFORCER sought refuge atop a lonely mountain in order to ensure his safety and a means to get a foot hold for his eventual return to the civilized world. The Empress perceiving him as a threat to her kingdom in a time that it had already suffered several blows financially would sacrifice true action to heal the damage and pursue her own vendetta. Seizing the opportunity his sanctuary afforded him, the former ENFORCER would launch a counter measure directed at the Empresses failing power structure, a measure that would both utilize those who had written him off as unwitting allies while at the same time bitch slapping them for their betrayal. They would most likely go on to hate him forever after, but having already counted them among the lost as both friends and supporters he went ever forward under the battle cry I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!

As July was coming to a close I was getting ready for the climax of my little prank, but the thing that put the biggest smile on my face was a little piece of information that would fall into my lap from someone who had overheard a conversation behind closed doors at the theater. Now I not only had the key to make my point, I also had the means to make it ultra effective on another front as well. From the mountain I really had no way of knowing if my plan was being as effective as I needed it to be or even if I needed it to be at all, so I would be reaching a point soon where I would just have to wait and see how things would unfold. This admittedly made timing a pain in the ass. Some may call me evil for this, but then no one died for starters which is a major mark against that point of view, no one EVER made an effort to bring it to a close peacefully or just leave and you find it impossible to walk down the street in one of the only few pockets of civilization spread out across the valley where you might be able to find a means to start over and see what YOU would do in my position.

July 23rd

Been thinking a lot about what comes next. In light of everything I believe I’m shutting down my actor’s page. Honestly I’ve had enough of that world, if I never see another fucking stage or camera again it will be too soon. Been thinking a lot about the past and writing was always more of my arena anyway. Lol in case you didn’t notice. I liked the idea that you could be famous for your work and still kind of share in the glory of happy obscurity.

I can’t sugarcoat it, I fucking hate the world of so called performing arts, it’s so damn mired in ego and politics, to the point everything and everyone behind the curtain is just as Goddamn fake as what happens on stage. I swear I have not been surrounded by so many shallow ass motherfuckers since high school and I hated that dump too and for that very reason. LOL

I AM an asshole Buckeye, and we always hated this fucking state anyway, it was one of the few things we shared in common with Michigan, all the Goddamn refugees we got from this piss-antville because hillbillies were never able to feed their kids off the dick they made here.

Not sure going home is an option for me, but staying in this place is suicide, for many reasons, most of which is summed up by the fact that it sits at the top of damn near every shit list a sociologist could possibly make a study for.

Here’s to new beginnings in better places, with better people. ( accept in a rare few occasions.) < I got drunk that night, bitterness was indeed in full swing though one thing would stick from that moment of clarity, I would go on to focus a great deal on writing. I get that some people out there may take exception to the statement made here, to them all I can say is, You’re not me, not everyone gets put into a position to question the validity of the world they make home for themselves and knowing what I know I am grateful FOR YOU, it’s not a fate I would exactly wish on someone. If it had only been alienation it’s possible I would not have had this stand point, but it was not just alienation it was imprisonment, and being hunted by the one who sought to alienate me in the first place and seeing how none of that even put a dent in the people I had once supported. There is an exchange in The Matrix that I think sums it up quite nicely.

Neo: I can’t go back, can I?

Morpheus: No, but if you could, would you really want to?

I got my red pill, and to tell you the truth even now thinking back to some of the moments that made my time in that world worthwhile I STILL have those times that I wish I could wake up and find everything from these last few years had just been a dream. Only I know better.

Comments:

RN: Hate to break the news to you but much of upper ohio( steel/rubber) and a good portion of southern michigan( auto) was all seeded REAL HEAVY during and after WWII BY WEST VIRGINIANS LMAO
LEARN THE HISTORY BRO! LOL
I’m glad you are starting to see throu
gh the masks. Not all those in performing arts have the same egotistical attitudes or as delusional as the ones here who are make believe on and off the stage. But REAL LIFE is better without the bullshit and drama weak ppl thrive on. Better to tear everyone else down then actually work on fixing”me”- and they think others can’t see through their mask/lies! It takes a change of attitudes not latitudes to change a persons problems- even though most run like hell rather then stand and face their problems. lol
< πŸ˜€ Okay so maybe I could stand for history lesson, at least when I’m sober anyway. As for the second part……….. I would go on to recently maybe find a few who are real…. The jury is still out, but they certainly gained a measure of respect. But as for that third part, to live where people blindly accept and want nothing, or as I have seen from a different angle take a recovering junkie and what good does it really do them in a fucking place where drugs are rampant and the money from them controls the area? That Last may be partially right, but there is STILLΒ  a pretty damn strong argument for changing latitudes as well.

TCH: There is one cure for most problems. Finding happiness from within, happiness with and within yourself. No matter where you go or what you do there is one person you cannot shake or escape… Yourself. Go if you must. It would help you make a new start and get away from old haunts and ghosts but beware. You must like the travel companion you take with you… Yourself. See this is the biggest problem with the human condition. The reason people can’t be alone and always need company. They can’t stand their damn self.. But the problem is, most other people can’t stand them… Or themselves either. (Holy crap, that was deep) and that just rolled out as I was typing grin emoticon!! But true nonetheless . I hope YOU find the happiness YOU seek. Wherever that is. Best of luck. < The greatest resentment I had towards myself was the fact that I had set myself up to make the fall so easy. That was stupid on my part, I had let a bleeding heart blind me to the realities of the world around me, but then those realities make hatred towards them just as viable. Two wrongs may not make a right but a balance must be met and that can not seem to happen so long as the concepts worthy of hatred go unchecked. I have walked the edge of that razor, even slipped a few times. After all this time and much thought I have decided that since there is no unlearning the things I have learned, it is not happiness I seek, it is BALANCE.

Shayne: It’s not about happiness, it’s about finally accepting something inside of me that I have done everything in my power to fight, only to find out…..It was always right.

TCH: Does that bring peace, or despair. I don’t know what you’re referring to, nor do I need to. If it’s not about happiness, could you at least find peace?

RN: I’d advise waiting till after first of August to travel unless you like being wet? August will be another month with below normal temps but nothing like Sept/Oct- and beyond. Cold like we haven’t seen is coming in a very few short months and you wanna go north with no where to go? Legal issues settled? Peace will only come when the Past and all those who betrayed you or turned their backs are buried and forgotten. As long as the past is the focus you’ll find nothing positive will come from it. When we hold resentment, anger or hate and live for revenge we are still hostage to those that did us wrong. The enlightened person walks away from those emotions and releases themselves from this bondage. There is no such thing as getting even or getting back at someone- unless life/future doesn’t matter to you. Children think like this. Adults( real ones) realize today and tomorrow are to precious and valuable to waste on yesterday’s.

Shayne: Revenge is pointless, those of my past are of little consequence. Revenge is not the motivation of my action, using what it all has given me to ensure my own place above them is. I have stated my belief on peace in a world where there is always going to be something or someone in your damn face. What some call peace I call complacency and in it, real growth stops. Peace is for gods who no longer have a higher tier to reach not us, we must suffer in order to learn the truth, that is how we get STRENGTH with our WISDOM.
Asked if my epiphany could give me peace if not happiness my only answer is…Neither, that was not the realization that was meant to. What it will give me is a means to rip down the weakness that got me in this position in the first place, the weakness that had me building the pedastools of others, rather than my own, to the point that all it took to send my ass down into the abyss was JUST a little push.

RN: Place above them? And you say not revenge motivated? Inward looking is one of the directions to seek the knowledge of truth brother? You can do better then this. Tough frigging love bro

Shayne: I will be remembered for what I gain, they will not, and they have no real wish to, and no real wish make a solid enough foundation for anything that can last. You can’t take revenge on people like that anyway. So yeah, I do say My place above them, without regards to revenge. Revenge requires intent, they simply don’t matter enough for me to care about how anything I do effects them good or bad.
I agree introspection is a path to knowledge, but anything that is limited only to self will only carry one so far, and will blind you to the truth of the world you live in without the other, that too was part of what led to my fall. The hard cold truth I got from my introspection is that…..I deserved all of this, because I rendered myself too weak to keep it from happening. All I’m saying is Take no shit and if you believe you have more to offer the world than another, Step on the toes that they aren’t using anyway, it’s a bigger crime to the world not to.

RN: Then why not say your place in the world? Get it? lol
The subconscious mind Speaks volumes when you tune in to it. We all have been programmed by a colonial religious culture that wants us tore-up, knotted up inside. That way we turn to them( governmen
t/church). What you believed that crap about separation? I suppose you think media tells the facts/truth? LMAO
Jokin brother- but you see what I mean I hope? When they no longer enter your thoughts and no longer truly matter then we say- “They are Dead to Me”. And that means they no longer exists at all. THIS- is what destroys these pettyass insecure two face ppl. Then they have no power at all in our lives and they are stuck thinking about us and where they were defeated. And as they dwell upon us- we draw their medicine/energy from THEM! So which way do you wanna go towards the future- gaining or draining?
< We had many such debates over the year. It’s always good when you have someone who will take something from a perspective you haven’t thought of to open your eyes. I will never say I am always right, and in fact when emotion takes center stage and mix with train of logic I can be a fucking rabid Bulldog. People like this can ground you keep you from going overboard. Debate, not argument, sadly so many of us today can not distinguish the difference.

Shayne: We spar well. πŸ˜€ Most people just don’t wanna play with me. LOL I get it and I suppose right now especially, it does still occupy a special place in the back of my mind. I fear that’s the curse of having a wound to tend during battle. I am having to baby step around it as much as possible so it doesn’t completely suck me in, once I gain full footing the ability to let it go will fall into place, by then I will have other things, better things to occupy myself and thoughts with anyway.

RN: You have the medicine/power to cure it anytime you choose to see it as a blessing? Yes it’s hard right now. No you’re not wealthy and own a lot of stuff- but those days will be over for everyone before long I’m afraid;economy or weather event- something will break the bank the government spends from and it’s downhill from there. Right off a cliff lol
We can choose to diminish, negate or amplify anything mental we choose to. And usually ppl just preoccupy themselves rather then dealing with it- that’s why they step around that wound years later. Free yourself now and look at all the fake crap you no longer deal with?

Shayne: It’s diminishing slowly, the big dog is yet to come off it’s leash. When it does and I get my not guilty nod. It will all be past, all but that utter waste of rain forest that tells me to do what I was already fucking doing anyway. Now that does bring up a valid point. We said “civil” and my demeanor changed, I thought it was over, then I got booted in the snow. I bitched for two weeks tops before deciding, fuck it, none of that shit I left was worth it. For two months pretty much all I focused on was putting Humpty Dumpty together again. Then I find I can’t even be seen in public without someone stirring shit up, adding a new element and leading to this. I can’t really ever be sure it is past. Again I ask at what point do I earn the right of self defense? My ass on street, has shown me that JUST shrugging it off isn’t saving me from anything.

RN: You deserve many rights brother. But what I’m saying is that “They”are already seen for what they really are. You not doing anything or saying anything has proven once and for all that it wasn’t you that has the mental issues. All the cries of wolf were only cries of “look at me”and by now even the courts and law enforcement has figured out that there’s something really wrong with that one.
You didn’t respond like they said you would and that got many ppl thinking- and many others were already over the attitude of superiority that had to endure from her while trying to be involved with KP. Devon has stayed out of it- but I let him know what others had said about her anger, screaming and yelling at cast members. Make-up she was excellent at- directing she doesn’t have the ppl skills or the talent/education and it’s aware enough to realize that ppl laugh at her behind her back! Stay calm and stay quiet and it SCREAMS VOLUMES AGAINST HER AND THOSE AROUND HER.
How to Kill a Mocking Bird

Shayne: My final words as I walked out the door was. You won’t hide who you are forever, everyone will see you for what you are at some point. I just find taking the ass kicking hard until SOMEONE has the guts like me to challenge her power structure. That damn power structure is all she has and it’s crippled. Without it she goes back to being just a little Cabin Creek girl who works part time at a salon and has to deal with shut in daddy who only leaves the house three times a year and is a bigger asshole than both of us combined. These people have already shown with me that once you don’t matter, you don’t matter, no matter what you have done. I NEED her power gone, as much as I hate it, I pray for the place to go under, it’s all she has and the only way I’ll be safe for as long as I’m here. I mean I like some people but the choice between my life and their good time or memories of long ago with family history, ain’t no fucking choice for me. < In short as long as someone could pass information on for favor or asylum from the tyrant who was using the presidency of one of the oldest theaters around, I would never BE LEFT THE FUCK ALONE, and I was in NO POSITION to keep carrying the fight like that.

RN: Her power is already collapsing? She has overplayed her hand and ppl are aware of what and who she is. In short time she’ll be without KP. She alone has run off many talented ppl- and word has gotten out.
FYI- praying for revenge only aids the person you seek to hurt. Creator don’t play that! lol

 

July 24th

Yeah, I’m gonna have fun with this one. First lets give it a handicap in it’s favor and completely bar the fact that it is itself an opinion meant to profoundly inspire someone on a personal level, making it defeating of it’s own purpose. Heh heh

RESULT is fact, it’s tangible. This whole statement is based on the idea that you should not care simply because of a perpetrators intent or the fact that way deep down they didn’t mean it. That doesn’t change that I’m sitting in the parking lot of McDonalds with four knifed tires, it doesn’t change that you didn’t get hired because someone who didn’t like you talked shit to the boss after your interview. it doesn’t change the realization of TRUTH which causes it to sting. All of these are RESULTS and they are what make the real personal impact.

Now as much as even I cringe at this thought sometimes, we are all related, we share an ecosystem, a social structure. EVERYTHING is connected, which causes RESULTS to have chain reactions. What happens to one effects the whole, like it or not. My ability to stick my fingers in my ears and go LA LA LA isn’t going to magically reinflate my tires, or get you hired and it damn sure ain’t gonna take away the consequence of TRUTH.

This is an introspected thought, an individuals response to a situation without any real thought put in to how people, places and things connect with one another. What happens to one effects all that is REALITY. The only DREAM that we need immunization from is the idea that it doesn’t. That’s a cheap way to shirk responsibility for our individual little parts we play in the overall HUMAN CONDITION. In short it is DOGMATIC SIMPLEMINDEDNESS at its shinyest.

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This was put up on the page of another of the brood, so I took the liberty of putting it on mine, but not by itself. It annoys me when people put shit like this up anyway and they let it stand alone, like it is some profound statement of self. It’s NOT, it’s just copycatting. It tells me you agree with this, it does not tell me WHY and lets face it, the WHY is what really defines our thoughts and our identity, without that it’s just…….Well, copycatting.

 

July 26th

Peace is a lie
There is only Passion
Through Passion, I gain Strength
Through Strength, I gain Power
Through Power, I gain Victory
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken

From the teacher who got miffed because I refused to utter even One more word of a Pledge that I had already spoken and had yet to do anything to break, To the preacher who always smiled at the 7 year old boy until the day I asked “Does God have a boss?” The tolerant preacher looked at me and said “No son, God is The Boss, He is the boss over everything.” “Then why did Jesus HAVE to die in order for Him to forgive us, if He wasn’t made to?” The preacher, losing patients reverts to standard Christian structure. “Because he is God and that’s how He decided it should be done and you don’t question that,none of us do, it’s not our place.” To which, in true child fashion I asked my last question. “Doesn’t that make God as mean as the Devil himself?” That preacher never smiled at me again, in fact you would think he believed he was looking at Damien, when he even bothered to look at me at all after that.

I can picture the squint and the frown of the psychiatrist who did my psych evaluation when my response to his question of “You can see how this can be taken as a threat, don’t you?” Was ” You just said you could see where it was all metaphor just a second ago, so I have to ask How would you have really viewed it if you had just come across it on the internet first rather than getting it faxed to you from a prosecutors office in regards to a felony case?” I never got an answer.

My point, I have always been stuck IN this world, but I have never been OF it. Never fit in, never belonged, little of it has ever made any fucking sense to me. I don’t know why, I do know this to be why I went silent for so long, and even that didn’t help, I was still the vampire, the warlock, the satanist, the serial killer the freakshow in the eyes of most around me.
I have always been IN this world, but never OF it. My last great conflict is drawing to a close as I finally start to realize, that really isn’t a bad thing. < If this one looks familiar that’s because it makes up the very first entry I ever put up on this blog. Yeah that was actually a part of my ongoing lead up to the punchline, but then an awful lot of truth really is said in jest isn’t it?

 

Well come on now storm, damn it. I have the urge to have me a Lt. Dan moment. < I received word that a huge storm was coming, and yes when it finally did, I would have my Lt. Dan moment, you might say that it was the second time that year I dared to challenge God. I felt myself slipping off the razor, it really is inevitable when there is a fine line between standing for justice and feeding a hatred.

Comments:

RN: Tomorrow will be the real ordeal! Super cells are expected to build up and connect along the Ohio river valley. Same as Derechio two years ago. (He shared weather maps showing me what was supposed to be coming.)

Shayne: Nice I look forward to getting impaled by flying tree branches. And why the Hell is it always July? < Two years before there a storm cell come through the valley, it had knocked over 16 trees in my inlaws field next door and when my wife and I were on our way home after closing the shop for the day we were damn near slammed by a large piece of gas station sign that the wind had ripped off and sent spinning down MacCorkle Avenue.

RN: This year at least it will be cooler air- so that could play in our favor. Watch for ground lightening( striking downward everytime) in the distance- and get in or under something that can take the strike( culvert, pipe, rock overhang)

 

July 27th

That little shit last night felt so promising. You let me down mama, you fucking let me down, I was actually to stand in the glory of your terrible might, and all you did was get my ass a little wet when I forgot and sat on my cooler this morning. That’s alright mama nature, I fucked you in my mind, I guess that’ll have to do. LOL < The storm was slow to hit the area I was in, though it would finally strike, not as bad as it was supposed to be, but still pretty damn potent.

 

Ahhh Finally! It may not be what I expected, but it’s coming and I’ll take it. Rare are the moments that you can become one with nature through the sheer ferocity within you and She both. I like to think of it as Zen from the other end.

 

WOOOOO! DAMN SHE’S BEAUTIFUL! Okay taking this momentary lull to dry off and smoke. Those wonderful times that you can’t tell the difference between sweat and the pouring rain. Love you mama, I knew you wouldn’t screw me over.

Comments:

TCH: I love the rain also. I like to be out in it. I prefer to do yard work when it’s drizzling cause you get hot, sweaty and dirty anyway. Not in a downpour, that’s a bit much, but drizzle, yes. It’s comforting. I also love the pool when it’s raining. If it starts to lightning I get out and make the kids as well, cause I’m not an idiot. But I don’t understand people who get out of the pool or beach when it starts to rain… Aren’t you there to get wet anyway?? Disneyworld is awesome in a light drizzle. Everyone leaves do the lines die down and you’re doing all that walking anyway so the rain keeps you cool. Oh… And love sitting on the porch during a raging storm.

Shayne: I put Dragon’s Fang to use during it last night, going straight into the high velocity part, letting the storm dictate the pace. πŸ˜€ Sometimes you just have to share your anger with the one, who will least judge you for it. There are just no words to describe the feeling of Mother Nature sharing her power with you. It was one Hell of a sight, I am literally on top of a mountain, I have one street lamp that was put in for the road and when the power went out, the only light I had in my grassy field was from the lightning that lit up the charcoal sky.< Dragon’s Fang was the sword kata I made for myself as a form of meditation, it adopted movements of Tai Chi, A little CapoeiraΒ  footwork in the faster parts and yes LightsaberΒ  dueling. In fact when I had first done it I used a lightsaber letting the humming noise and the colored light play it’s effect on the meditation process, in this instance I was using a sturdy and well balanced stick.

 

July 28th

And from the way me tent be blowin I would say break times over.

 

Peace is a lie
There is only Passion
Through Passion, I gain Strength
Through Strength, I gain Power
Through Power, I gain Victory
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken

πŸ˜€ All charged up. Many forms of meditation have I used over the years, this is by far my favorite. It doesn’t require the stifling of self, but rather encourages it. ( Better described as transcendence through acceptance of what you are by nature, as opposed to sticking a hand up your ass and a foot through your earlobe and calling yourself godly, like the Yogis. You have a body, you exist in this physical plane, you shit no different than anything else with one to five legs, come off that fucking high horse.)The results are also quite different as even though I sit here now totally relaxed watching the lightning flicker now in the distance, my whole fucking body hums.

Ultimately it very much feels like the essence of controlled fury. Not rage, lets be clear. Rage can not be controlled because it is too much like a wild fire. It builds and builds and while it renders you invulnerable to pain and makes you strong as a damn ox, no human body can stand up to it for long.

I remember at 16, laying into the heavy punching bag in the garage everyday just to let it all out, but that’s the problem with it, it doesn’t come out, it just builds. I remember just going until I could not stand, could not lift my arms, could not feel the pain of knuckles that were black and bloody, could not pull a coherent thought out of my head for hours through the white noise in my brain, but I could still feel that fire burning. Four hours later my thoughts had worked their way from nothing, to a random word or image, to sentences and finally back to normal. The fire would be gone, snuffed out by my body and brains almost simultaneous shut down. And then I felt it, every fucking bit of it, the fists that I could hardly unball, the full body ache, because you don’t realize that every powerful hit that just about knocked that 50 pound fucker through the wall, was shock your body was absorbing with it.

Those days did teach me the futility of rage, the reason it isn’t worth wielding. All it does is eat. I would go on over the next two years finding alternatives until the rage was no longer there, lets be clear the RAGE was no longer there, the anger still was. It is this meditation that I found that converts ANGER into something more…..practical, Thus controlled fury, as still as the unbroken surface of a pond, but quickly called on for all manner of action. I daresay, my inner conflict forged from the need of self improvement has saved us all A LOT of grief, over the years, consider that, when I say peace is a lie, that may not be the NEGATIVE statement many think it is.

 

My domain atop the mountain.

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Comments:

TCH: Looks peaceful. So you be King of this Mountain? Lol.

Shayne: Yep, I even mow this field once a week.

TCH: I noticed it looked freshly cut. Still like your landscaping job?

Shayne: Oh yeah!

KJ: Very peaceful and drama free!

 

Peace is a lie
There is only Passion
Through Passion, I gain Strength
Through Strength, I gain Power
Through Power, I gain Victory
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken

This has been my morning and nightly prayer, my daily power mantra. It has become how I draw focus in the face of long odds, when the thought of them causes everything inside to overwhelm my ass. I’m at war, plain and simple. There are no NORMAL days for me. No going home after work and chilling out, no anticipation of everyday things that we all ( I AM GUILTY TOO) take for granted. Hardly any friendly faces, that I don’t do a double take on, once finding out that there were those who just itched to go and feed the frenzy that landed my ass here.

I walked away for the sake of looking forward. Turning the other cheek FAILED. I have little faith that things will just work out because it would be FAIR if they did.
Little TRUST when I have hardly any way to tell the difference between friend, foe or neutral force. And the only real Strength I have, is what I have dug from the pits after setting myself up for the FALL.

Let it go, it’s the past. For fucking WHO exactly? I’ve become a bastard, NOT for vengeance, NOT for the novelty of it, but because only a bastard CAN climb their way back from THIS. My apologies to those well meaning folk on the outskirts , BUT my Passion and what valuable help I have received is going to be ALL that CAN save my ass, if it even can be saved in the end.

Comments:

TCH: πŸ™Β  seeing your mountain and reading this reminds me of the Jim Carey version of, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. I hope you don’t take offense to that. He lived on his mountain that he went to when no One would accept him for who he was and became more and more anti social and angry. Until Cindy Lou saw thru it and brought him out of his shell. Don’t give up on all the Who’s in Whoville. A few are worth coming off the mountain for.

Shayne: If it’s any consolation, everyone’s WhoHash will be safe from me……..this year. :D

TCH: Lol. And the RoastBeast?

Shayne: Now that you might have to watch the only choice meats in these woods are deer and bear and I have no way to hunt them.

 

July 29th

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Good morning boys and girls. I wanted to take a moment to practice what I preach. You may notice, that I have totally went to a picture of special significance to me. The closer I am getting to my trial, the more scared I got to the idea of using this picture. I have decided FUCK THEM.Β Β πŸ˜€ I’m also a Juggalo, if they wish to cry about that too. What began an image used in volunteer work, is now an exercise of freedom of religion as well, you see for all who asked are you a Satanist? (A perfectly recognized religion in the eyes of our brave U S Armed Forces as well, I might add.) My answer is still no….just a commercially acceptable modified version of it. πŸ˜€ I bet few fans actually realized that, more of them would have shit themselves. Don’t get your panties in a bunch, it’s basically just a belief in SELF empowerment. All that goat sacrificing bullshit is the work of extremists and propaganda.

I figured I might as well just own that shit. And hey if the nancy boy English can give the world Jedi, of course America would give it Sith, we are the rebellious bad asses after all.

With Love and Honesty
Darth Venomous a.k.aΒ  Shayne Workman < I had set it up long enough I had figured it was time to make the puppets dance. You see the thing about the Junior High School clique mentality is that they really are a superstitious and cowardly lot and because of this they are just so damn predictable. They have they same arguments every time and in fact the same type of gags of which the cheerleader liking the outcast gag is there strongest. It simply does not matter if the motherfuckers are 15 or 35. As planned I was once more the Debil wit da Fitch Pork LOL. It would take less than half a day before I started seeing all the posts putting down MAGIC USE and such, and in fact the very next day I would inspire an entire blog entry revolving around the counter magic of the witch jar. LOL yeah I had hit pay dirt, now it was time to deliver and milk that fucking punchline.

 

πŸ˜€ (snicker) I nike pangcankes < This was my first response to the opening “Witch Hunt” all the little shallow hippy shitfacers thought they were having. πŸ˜€ This line also came with a link to the Eminem song Criminal.

 

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I don’t know the answer to this one, but what I do know from what I learned on the streets is this. I heard the same damn line constantly from the people who didn’t really have shit of their own. “I don’t know you and I don’t have much, but what’s mine is yours.” I wasn’t shitting you when I said that put things into perspective for me, especially considering where I had come from to be there. < At this point I felt the need after starting to whip out the punchline of my clever gag to remind these sorry fucks of what started this little war with them in the first fucking place and to let them know after showing them how fucking stupid they areΒ  why it was I saw this type of people as being more deserving of the time and effort I had spent years putting in the wrong fucking place for the ones who forgot.

Comments:

RN: One is connected to the One God. The other worships the demon money

Shayne: Money ain’t no demon, it’s just paper. The demon is in us for giving it a higher value than life. We can’t keep pointing fingers at inanimate objects, the darkness is within and it should not be ignored, it has to be faced in order to truly master it and overcome.

RN: Yes you’re right- it’s the desire to own, posses and control that makes ppl weak. But anger is the same weakness

Shayne: ALL OF IT has to be faced, mastered, converted. IT does exist in nature for a REASON thus it has PURPOSE, or we are just being fucked with by higher powers, don’t much appreciate the idea of that either.

RN: It ONLY EXISTS in the ppl that have LOST THEIR WAY! In nature it’s ritual for a purpose of life

Shayne: Little babies get pissed off, they are too new to the world to have lost their way in anything. It is still in our NATURAL capacities or it would not even be POSSIBLE for us to get angry over anything.

 

July 30th

Since I am way too fucking flattered and amused to even be insulted anymore. Here it is folks once more with feeling. πŸ˜€ …..Oh and uh I nike pangcankes ( golf clap) < This was in response to the blog post I mentioned about counter magic. and yes I again added the link to the Eminem song Criminal in case they weren’t getting the message that they had been duped.

 

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πŸ˜€ Clearly Chopra here has never been on an interstate in Chattanooga Tennessee when shit hit the fan. I can only say that as you deftly swerve and control speed with asshole tight, being in the moment, that ain’t love flipping 15 times in your direction you see, it’s an Escalade. < Because Goddamn Care Bears have little in the way of logic or practical sense as far as I have seen in their rhetoric. πŸ˜€

 

Later that night I posted a link to a piece about if men acted like feminists simply because I knew it would further grind the ass of brats who mistook me for someone who would not put them in their fucking place for being dicks just because they were girls. It got a response of course………..

 

July 31st

πŸ˜€ I started weak, I did, I really did. It’s just while I was getting schooled in Pokemon by Roy’s kid ( thank God the rules are still the same.) I got a little nostalgic and I kind of realized, to some degree and in some ways, I have hated my Ex wife for the wrong reasons. I get it, as I use the very tactic she taught me all so well. It is fun you know, orchestrating the reactions of utter fucking idiots.Β πŸ˜€ But hey, I at least I put up the for entertainment purposes only disclaimer. LOL < AND NOW THEY WERE STARTING TO GET IT. Though I can kind of see why they were just so quick to underestimate me given my position and how expendable I was to those who never looked past their own fucking upturned noses to see that I may have been quiet, but I was still full of surprises. The Artists of Charlie West had just got their asses handed to them……by a damn Hobo. Funny little world we live in isn’t it?

 

 

 

At this point I was already setting the stage. I had One: Kicked up enough shit and not only uncovered a few enemies, I had stirred enough shit among the people I use to call family that word was bound to be getting around. Two: I made sure the word getting around was that I was letting out secrets, had an inside ear, and was making a show of paydays and the funds that I was building making it clear that I was not going to be down for long. Three: By kicking up a fuss and raising the paranoia level of my enemy I was making life hard on those who thought I was insignificant by pointing that paranoia at everyone around her. There would be no feed back, it was a blind plan to this day I honestly don’t know if any of it was even required. My ex wife had already sent her new errand boy to constantly harass my sister via emails aimed at trying to coerce a location out of her. The only one who knew my actual location though had been my brother. The next phase of the plan had already started and that was trying to see who was actually on my side, since I had found enough enemies and to set up everyone else for the biggest fuck you, yet. They wanted to spew righteousness and this, that and the other, but in truth they were just Junior High School clique and I was going to show them that. This was to One: Piss them off enough to further get the rumor mill flowing and Two: Show them that a persons position is not always an accurate indicator of their true strength.

 

July 17th

It’s a pickle no doubt about it, the truth is I’m stable and making income, so there really is no way of knowing what’s smokescreen and what isn’t, no way to tell if I’m cooking hot dogs on a campfire laughing my ass off even as I write the most hateful sounding shit. But whichever the case, it does make you think, that has ever been the blessing to my curse. There will come a day I either get bored or get funded enough to leave this place and no longer have a reason to piss on it, until that day I will continue to give merit to what earns it AND serve anyone, meaning anyone and to anyone at ALLLLLLL!!!!! πŸ˜€ LOL < This was put up with a link to the video for Sweeney Todds “Have a little Priest” Yes I have a fucked up sense of humor, I also wanted to keep everyone confused as to what to expect from me and when, whether I was strong or weak. Hard for an enemy to fight back especially when those enemies are cowards when they are not really sure what it is they are getting into.

 

Well that turned out better than I thought. hmmmm It’s balanced enough. < Another quiz, this one pertaining to how good/evil you are. I got 43% good 57% evil neutral force.

Comments:

DM: 70% evil: Troublemaker. I disagree, though. I don’t make trouble; I am trouble. Note the subtle difference.

Shayne: Give me a couple more months, I’ll get there. < A lot of truth is spoken in jest. πŸ˜€ I did get there, when the strength I found to overcome would clash once more with petty vindictiveness.

 

 

πŸ˜€ And remember kids if you THINK half the shit I say is just to get attention.Β πŸ˜€ Well that would just be kinda pointless wouldn’t it? I mean obviously you read it in order to have that thought in the first fucking place, which leads me to believe that you were always going to for whatever reason you may conjure up to feel better about it. πŸ˜€

Love, guttersnipe. < This post was like a gift that just kept on giving. I would use it many times to come in the future just to remind those who looked for trouble that they were going to find it, but then why anyone would LOOK for trouble and then blame the person who delivered is far beyond me. The reaction this got was priceless as no one could rightfully retort without making an ass of themselves. In chess that is called a forked attack which is simply placing a piece in just the right spot between two targets so that the opponent has no option but to choose which sacrifice to make. What this caused was an escalation in what I called the switch board effect. I would post and then suddenly my chat list would light up with the little green dots of people coming and going. It would eventually get to where I didn’t even see the flashing green dots, I just heard in my mind the inevitable phrase being cycled around. “Can you believe what that little motherfucker just wrote?”

Comments:

RN: Am I missing something?

Shayne: I actually have read the Art of War. Sometimes what I say is a matter of beating the ground to draw out the snakes. Sometimes it’s to appear strong when weak or weak when strong ( That ones a bit tricky, follow it to the letter and you’re predictable, appear as both…well then no enemy would know what to think you are, but insane πŸ˜€ and who wants to fuck with that? Especially when I have already displayed that I think ahead, consider my post from May 6, now I had hoped that it would be a deterrent but instead I had to use it to expose a terrible truth.) Sometimes I just want to show people something about themselves and as I am LEARNING, there is no better TEACHER of that than adversity. Sometimes It pays to remind people that it is like a finger pointing away to the moon, DO NOT concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory. πŸ˜‰

 

July 19th

One of the most important lessons I have taken from my whole ordeal is a greater understanding of the truth that in this world where only the STRONG SURVIVE, those who beg for mercy are those too WEAK to deserve it…….Just keep in mind, for me the personal is just a bonus, it’s really only business.

Comments:

RN: Learn well and learn quickly. Looks like weather due to change for the worst by Sept-Oct. this winter will surpass last winter I’m afraid. You need to know- but I hated to break the news to you. Gotta find you a place asap

RN: Can you make out the maps and dates? < He had sent a couple weather prediction maps for the coming months. Some had expected the winter to be really bad.

Shayne: Providing I’m not back in my cage by then anyway, that is already in the works I’ve been all over the damn place putting many things in motion both in forward movement and back up in case my case goes foul. I get the maps, least ways enough to see like me, it’s as cold as the cold wind blows. πŸ˜€

RN: Expect 20-30 days below -10

Shayne: Shit, if I’m lucky enough to get the Not Guilty nod, I should be in a place by mid Sept, sooner possibly, my stack is growing and I have a couple other options other than the job that can help it do so even faster.

RN: Gambles are just that. Stay on the real road. Pays off faster in long run.

 

So earlier I said fuck it like, I’m gonna sign up on one o’ these online dating sites. I don’t have a suitable picture on this phone, but for my tag line I put “Yeah, you Hitler enough for me.” 30 Minutes later I already had 56 profile views, 15 flirts, 12 messages. It’s a strange fuckin world we live in. Ha ha

Comments:

DN:Β  I signed up for one once and it said I had no matches

Shayne: If my “success ” so far is any indication I would say you won and I lost. πŸ˜€ I just bullshitted it, I meet crazy just fuckin fine on my own, hence the whole thing I keep going back to about the eco hut in the desert and changing my name to Ben. Believe me I still have a scar from a ring I’ve not worn in almost a full year, then there is every other crazy bitch I’ve encountered from the one who disappeared on me for a year only to come back with someone else’s kid, when I was still living at home JUST graduated. One during my marriage that was a psycho and wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone when I worked for CAMC and a myriad of others…..man relationships are WAY fuckin over rated. < I have not seen many examples to dissuade me from this point of view and have in fact…. well, only half joked about the next time I get involved with someone, writing to girls in mental institutions so that I could at least control the TYPE of crazy that got attracted to me the next go round. Yeah considering how the next 10 months would pan out I would say that was an EPIC FAIL on my part, I should’ve started writing to those institutions sooner. πŸ˜€

DN: I’ll just make one and make my name Adolf Stalin. Really fuck with people that way

Shayne: LOL Hell yeah. You know I think the biggest fuckin regret most people who know me have, is leaving my ass out here to entertain myself. That went south sooo damn fast, and it’s all because I’m an asshole.

Shayne: Oh and just to clarify, the CAMC bit was NOT an affair it was just a psychopath who would not leave my ass alone. Why did I not report it, that’s the rub, I did, but you try being the ONLY guy in an office full of women and see how serious that shit gets taken. < I have very distinct views when it comes to shit like this, but then you be on the receiving end of a line like. ” You remind me so much of my ex husband.”……. Yeah that’s a seriously weird ass fucking thing to say with glazed eyes and a goofy ass grin on your face. Never had much luck with women at least not here anyway. Who knows if writing to the mental institutions doesn’t pan out I might shoot for one of those mail order bride services. Either way it really can’t get much worse than a bitch trying to get me either locked up or killed.

 

And the time of the hanger ons is almost up. Go watch Jerry Springer for your fix. It only gets WORSE and more VENOMOUS from here.< Another chance for them run for the hills………. No one took it.

 

July 20th

What? You think I’m throwing a White Trash Party here or something? πŸ˜€ Here’s your sign.

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Just in case there were some who missed the last post, or maybe if there was some sort of language barrier. You know, it’s always best if you are going to be an asshole to people to always offer them an out, even if they don’t take it they can never say you weren’t being fair enough to give them the choice. My big prank was set and I was about to start building for it. If any had come to me in the interest of straightening things, they would have got a pass, if any had left they would not have been there to see what was coming in the first place. Those who stayed… Well I think the message here was rather non ambiguous. FIX IT OR FUCK OFF.

 

In a good mood this evening, so I’m gonna take a minute just to deliver a temporary ( Well partial reprieve anyway)
Tonight I focus on my REAL enemy, the State. If you take a look below you will see three pictures, the first is a page from my discovery a.k.a the prosecutions case against me. It is part of the police report from my arrest. In the paragraph you may notice that it claims that the post contained photographs. This made no damn sense to me because I added no photos to that post. I found from the psyche evaluation that they were referring to my profile picture which is the second photo below. This photo was used to profile my ass as a potential “terroristic threat”

Now looking at photos 2 and 3 what do you notice they have in common? A little cross promotion maybe, between a convention and a theater that I was a part of for nearly five years. IRONIC is a word that comes to mind that the very picture that got me labeled the bad guy in the eyes of the law was DIRECTLY linked to the volunteer work I was doing. Ain’t that about a motherfucker? πŸ˜€ Try to be the fucking good guy just to get boned by it. Regardless I have that going for me as there is at least one or two members or more likely former members of the “family ” that would be willing to vouch for my involvement.
This is but a small piece to the reason I may seem…..a little more crass this past little over a year, then I might have seemed in the times prior to. I wasn’t shitting when I said I paid a price for the work I did, 8 days worth, with another one to three years plus 6 months for that copy computer charge the grand jury tacked to it as a possibility. Still in Purgatory, still all in my fucking face, dampening any Goddamn ray of hope from any victory I gain in my current predicament.
I would bet, you would crack too, just a little. It’s not that hateful darkness doesn’t seem so bad, it’s just the result looks the same from down here. Be thankful you aren’t me, if you’re not facing what I am from where I am, as nigh singlehandedly as I am. For tonight I am thankful for us all, that it didn’t happen to a person worse or more breakable than me.

Goodnight. < Okay they would not leave, now lets see which ones of those who stayed can be swayed by truth. This ladies and gentlemen and many other examples both seen and experienced personally is why I have such distaste for the bleeding heart Care Bears of the world. Some of us know better, some of us realize that change has to be fought for. Now there are two ways you can fight for that change. You can be the type of person who would go through with what I was accused of and change will happen, suddenly, from bad to worse.The shit storm mainstream media has made of the examples of people who have fought for change in this fashion and the inevitable over reaction caused by the fear it invokes has proven that fact time and again. I choose a different way. The pen is mightier than the sword approach or rather the pen as the sword approach. and many may not agree with my method any more than they agree with the former, all I can say to that is show me a world where “Being the change you want to see in the world” does not lead to what happened to me and I will concede my point. Interesting side note I would go on to actually stay true to my word and help volunteer for the event a little over a week after being released from jail on bond.

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July 21st

You ever wanna be the person that causes that “aww man” moment? LOL I’m just a mean cocksucker I know. LOL I’ll fix it shortly, promise. < I was, I am, and I lied after careful consideration of how things had panned out. You see the Burly Q had just hit 1000 likes and they were just so excited when they announced, thing is, I was still one of them, at least until I brought them back to 999. πŸ˜€ I really was going to fix it, it was just such a petty little move, but then I had to ask myself the real question, What kind of message did it send giving support to those incapable of returning it in any real fashion?

 

Actually after thought, I’m done with silent voices. < This would generate a rift with another who it had absolutely nothing to do with. Another example of ebb and flow. a once long time friend and “Brother” ( See it isn’t always the bitches I duke it out with, sometimes it’s the faithful lap dog puppies as well.) Fuck it, he wanted to be that quick to accept exile without even coming to me to see if it had anything to do with him. He can get served with the fucking rest of them. Par for the course.

 

Now, now, I just rectified a little inequity. If there is just give and no take, then I am the same idiot who got themselves in this mess in the first place and…..well just blow my fucking brains out if I ever get that stupid again.< The girls got a little miffed over the 999 thing. πŸ˜€

 

July 22nd

Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory
Through victory, my chains are broken

Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion, I gain strength
Through strength, I gain power
Through power, I gain victory
Through victory, my chains are broken

Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion, I gain strength
Through strength, I gain power
Through power, I gain victory
Through victory, my chains are broken

Whether struggling with our first steps in infancy, recovering from an injury, standing for a purpose, overcoming a bad habit protecting what is ours EVERYTHING we are in life is defined by CONFLICT great and small, within and without. When we forget this, we STAGNATE in a life and world where CHANGE occurs with or without our consent. Ever being FALSE FATES PUPPETS and only half of who we are, until the day none of our escapes can keep REGRET from making us wonder why we never felt COMPLETE and then we face, with or without our consent, another CONFLICT, with DESPAIR. < PM, tiny dancer, was struck rather hard by this one. This was NOT a direct assault either, in truth it really was a sort of self reflection given my situation and all the years I had spent being my wife’s little bitch, but hey….if the shoe fits. If the mantra, written in very “All work and no play” The Shining format, looks familiar to some of you geeks like me out there that’s because it is the code of the Sith. See where I’m going with this? The reactions when I finally brought my little prank to fruition was quite hilarious. I will get to that in the next piece. The final piece of July… You know because if I’m going to tell the part of the story called Henceforth You Will Be Known As DARTH VENOMOUS, it really should come in three parts…..Shouldn’t it? πŸ˜€

 

 

 

 

 

As the month of July continued I was told by those I made REAL contact with how different I was from even the year before, I smiled and laughed more than I had in a long time…… My online persona however was quite different. With the exception of openly playing around as there were a lot of online quizzes that I would take because I still did not have much to do in a tent on top of the mountain and the one on one contact I made to support those who I did not lump in with the ones I was aiming at, I started taking a dark turn. My dark turn however was actually the beginning of a strategy I was laying out. The bitch of it was things played into it that I had not planned and often I found myself being committed to the ebb and flow of what was happening with everyone, some who had remained silent allowed their true feelings of my ordeal be known. Like beating the grass to draw out the snakes. On top of what I learned from my ex wife on how to be a manipulative motherfucker I was gaining quite the education all on my own to fill the gaps. It was such a stretch from what everyone knew me to be that it was even suggested that I was strung out on something, but the truth of the matter was change. Be this. What? The guy who sat quiet in a corner unless I was putting myself out there, not for my sake but everyone else? I did that, what it got me was ignored and overlooked when it came to my needs. Be that. What? The guy who bolsters the strength of someone at the expense of their own? I did that too. It led to me having the very surreal experience of Googleing myself and finding my mug shot from an arrest that got national recognition for having the word terroristic three spots above where my name was still listed for having played in a poker tournament for fucking charity. Be the change you want to see in the world? Whu? You mean turn the other cheek? Be a naive Care Bear who just wants so bad to see the best in people because they are the ones who do not contribute to the madness, Oh but they do. Never make the mistake of thinking that burying your fucking head in the sand is the same thing as being Zen and you are so righteous and above all of it. I did and it got me booted into the street once and then ran out of the place I was staying a second time, it cost me thinking that I could just walk away, some things, some people there simply is no walking away from, sometimes you have to be the bastard that will do what the Care Bears won’t. I got mean, I told them I was going to, but I always offered an out. Much later I would get even meaner against another worthless little piece of shit who thought they were good enough to take my title, but that.. well I digress that one really isn’t relevant to this story or anything else for that matter.

 

July 6th

This was one of those quizzes I told you about. The title of it was What Kind Of Human Being Are You? I got Sympathetic, Heh heh.

As one who defies conflict between nature and nurture, as I am an asshole by a bit of both, I have to say. What the fuck are these boys smokin eh?

Comments:

DM: I got Sonuvabitch.

Shayne: Damn it what did you do that I didn’t dooooo?

DM: I cry when I masturbate, for starters..

Shayne: LOL Now see I tend to do that more afterwards, GAWD no wonder it gave me the mark of a little bitch.

DM: You are not truly a man until you can have sex with a plywood wall and still get off.

Shayne: Whoa, ( No body makes it the first time without a splinter.)

 

Alright, This is the first in a new segment I call The Webster Corrector.

Insanity: revised definition. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome, due to damaged cognitive processing.

The original definition is now used for another word.

Stupidity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome.

And since this is new, lets give one more correction, for shits and giggles.

Judgmental: revised definition.
That word that is only applied to people who place bluntly with words, the exact same limit of value, that most will place on a person or concept through actions, so as to claim that’s not who they are with the bullshit that they say.

This has been The Webster Corrector. πŸ˜€

 

July 7th

Faster than a local theater can switch out board members, More fun to make fun of than a pouty faced slut stomping off like a 3 year old to cry in an empty room, IT’S MEEEEEE!!!!! Cutting back shrubs on unlevel ground with sharp objects. HAHA < Yeah this was one of those DIRECT assaults I mentioned the previous month and it wasn’t just a shot at the one who had been consistently fucking with me for weeks it was a reminder to her of an incident that I stood as the only person to ever really take up for her over, even as her BFF sat at the very table and let it happen and never questioned the decision that was reached afterwards. That was not the first slap in the face I got from this one. Some of you might remember the entry that covered January of 2014. Remember the “friend” who ran to my wife? PM That was her, while I had gotten rid of her ass, a couple months later she commented on something on another of my pages and I wondered if after my being booted out in the manner that I was and having to deal with what my Ex Wife was becoming if she wasn’t trying to make amends, It would take me another couple months and an accidental friend request not to her directly but to an account she had made for a character she performed as wearing a mask. I had figured what the Hell let bygones be bygones in the understanding that my bitch ass ex wife had duped us all in some way.

Comments:

RN: You’ll only be free when you let the past go bro? Why constantly hurt yourself unless you like it.

Shayne: Part of the process, I passed anger my second week on the streets towards a bunch of Shallow ass hippy shitfacers, too naive and blind to see anything past their own upturned noses. Still showing no signs of being that “GREAT DANGER” everyone was warned about. πŸ˜€ but I am so not beyond pointing and laughing, I find in this day and age it is more effective than saying shame on you.

RN: The longer you go without going off- the more shame they will feel and the more wrong another will look. That other one has yet to feel the heat- but will soon be burnt by their very words. < I wasn’t angry anymore, I was past that, now I was just setting the stage to strip the power structure away from my real enemy. PM headed up a burly Q troupe that would make use of the theater my ex wife was president of. Lets get something straight, I don’t hate the girl, I don’t particularly like her, but she put herself on the wrong side of a fight that had gotten seriously fucking nasty.

There’s a button for that. Push it. < The previous post got quite a response, so I thought it only fair to remind the poor girl if she does not like me or what I say, her ass is free to go at any time. She didn’t of course none of them would, they just kept sticking around never trying to straighten things out, never leaving but always wanting to cry about how mean I was. Why would a person stick around? Spite? Stupidity? Pride? Attention? I always left the door open to walk out, masochists never do.

 

July 10th

Looks like no rain so you know what this means don’t you?

Faster than a………Ah fuck it. It doesn’t take a man to keep pointing out the flaws of some of the special needs by choice kids out there. Hell the best of the worst could only muster the brains and guts for a sorry ass failed attempt at second degree murder anyway. Have fun getting fucked up and recklessly wrecking Leased property Ha ha. < OMG I really fucking wrote that? πŸ˜€ Yeah I really fucking did, it was time I pointed out what horse these assholes who looked down on me were backing since they thought they were so right in doing so.

 

July 11th

Blessed be the days that teach us the wisdom to know the truth to these words. Patients is more than a virtue, it’s about right time, right place. Some already know this. Some of us are still learning. < Baiting the trap, to drive a point home.

Comments:

RN: But you ARE learning. And that is more then most ppl can say Shayne Workman In your situation most would’ve already quit

Shayne: Not afraid to say the hardest battles fought have been against myself. The hate, the nights I wanted to “catch” the train. The fear. I’ve done every bit of it without pill one for five months. I’m not crazy, well at least not THAT fucking crazy or I never would have been able to pull that off. The imbalance is still there and I’ve noticed an increase in my PTSD traits. It’s my nature that I struggle the most with, I can’t sugar coat shit, been through too much, seen way too much, know way too much more than anyone realizes, to give enough of a fuck to call any of it anything but what it is. If I died that night on the river bank 3 on 1, everyone would have called it a tragedy, half of them might have meant it, few of them would have admitted that there was another and THEY have done everything in their power to put me in that spot, where if the depression doesn’t get you, the elements will. And for what? Because I’m a monster? If that were true, I wouldn’t need a fraction of the justification that I’ve been given and still I hold MY shit together better than anyone could expect or hope given the circumstances. No one gets the truth, that I am here because I broke control and you can’t be up someones asshole 24/7 for YEARS and not know every single one of their dirty little secrets. And yet here I sit, πŸ˜€ her long term game always did suck ass.

TCH: Yes, you are learning, and you’re a survivor. Take this opportunity to not just create a new life…but a better life for yourself. Life is what you make it. It’s your road and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

Shayne: I flipped a shiny penny, 2014 shield on the back, spared no expense, one cent.

RN: Shayne Workman have you seen the moon tonight? Tomorrow is another moon of Blood Boiling/ super moon. It has medicine that affects us all. Tomorrow if you’re not working; get your hands into the soil- Grandmother’s Medicine is just as strong or stronger; and it’s a calming medicine. Plant something, put in a fire circle and dig out the fittings for the stones- but get your hands into Grandmothers Medicine and feel the Peace and Serenity. That’s how you get at the ones who’d push you or abandon you- be what you really are and they wear the face of Liars and Cowards. This is a learning brother. Time to learn how to connect with all Ppl’s ( earth ppl, stone ppl, water ppl, and many more) Let ppl think I speak crazy- they don’t matter! I know the medicine/energy you posses and it’s coming time for you to experience the connections and meet the energies/medicine OUR PPL’s have. I am proud of you brother. You are getting disciplined and motivated! But learn how to counteract anything that would draw on your medicine in a negative way. In time- this same moon medicine will be good in your life; but that will be after matters of the past are settled completely. Prayers and Blessings be with you
FYI- COOLER weather next week. Starts around Tues/Weds. Lows could get in 40-50’s range- no shit; in friggin July lol

Shayne: Not just a liar brother, really think about the TYPE of person who would do that to another. There IS a real DANGER, but it isn’t me. That is what fools can’t see. Buyer Beware. The type of person you associate with or worse GIVE power to. Maybe if any of them could actually OPEN their fucking eyes, they would see that it isn’t THEM I’m against with most of the shit I say.

RN: It’s the time and emotion that you give to someone that gives them power. Speak not of, do nothing about and react not to their howling. Coyote( liar,trickster) Is the only dog that constantly howls. Liars constantly stir the shit, add a little more- and always claim to be the victim. And sooner or later even the deaf and blind can figure out who is the howling dog! Those that don’t see it- choose not to; remember that for one day there will be some who try and tell you different.
So much happening these days- a lot to learn? Dwelling on the past? And accomplishing what? Rest well!
< Sometimes they bite too, sometimes you have to have the will to do what is necessary and sometimes that requires you to be as dirty as the one you are against. I always had great respect for what this man told me and I took both what I found logical to take from it as well as the calm it helped instill during the times I needed it most, you see when you are pulling the same dirty shit as your enemy it helps to have some that can ground you and keep you rooted to not get completely lost in it. The one thing that eventually even he would see is that it wasn’t the past I was worried about, it was the crazy bitch who even during this time period that I was miles away and not saying a damn thing to her who was periodically going to the police station trying her damnedest to get me locked up again. A fact that would lead to her final loss. Sometimes there is no walking away.

TCH: RN. I believe I will take this advice and get my hands on Mother Earth. I sat outside with friends under the full moon tonight and let it’s soft and energizing light shine on me. I don’t know what I believe as far as religion anymore but do believe the planets and universe are made of raw natural energy and think one can benefit from its effects if they care to look for it. < I did this as well. He is so far gone they told themselves, πŸ˜€ Appearances can be deceiving.

 

July 12th

“The Prophesy”

A battle rages, light and dark, within his own lonely story arc. To live and love and just be free from a past that’s all his heart can see.

But inked by acid venom pen, he wrote a book with every sin. Immoral deeds, illegal acts, the REAL thoughts of those with whom they interact.

And if the day should come, the blackbird finds it’s CAGE,
Shall truth reveal it’s every page.

For one among them walks WITH him.
Who would turn the table and make THEM inspect.
Every comment, sneer and smile SUSPECT.
Who shall wear his face as their disguise,
So his voice beyond the.CAGE may rise. Their face unchecked by those with prying eyes.

Always TWO there are, the dreaded cry, and now TWO there are who share the TRUTH, behind every single lie.

Still yet a battle rages, light and dark, within his own lonely story arc. But rather than fight this battle from within. Shall fate decide it’s final end. < My turn to the dark side was going into full swing, now it was not just the one, I was drawing the attention of many of them. I thought surely by now I got my enemy good and pissed at me because try as she might I just could not be shut up. She had already blocked many that shared a mutual connection between us and I figured now lets turn that paranoia towards those around her.

 

That’s right….How long has it been since I was able to do that? Now if you’ll excuse me I’m probably gonn crash in the middle of this grassy clearing, no tent needed, under this SUPA MOON and most likely wake up a full blown WereAss.

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Comments:

RN: I suggest you hide that money somewhere besides on you. Remember those guys that dropped by? They’re not the only ones out there and advertising isn’t good my young brother. I am happy for your gain- in many ways but please remember that you’re still in the jungle. lol

Shayne: Item drops, I use them even here. They’d get my budget but not my funds I guarantee that.

RN: Good planning

 

Ah Hell what can I say?
Blame it all on me roots. I showed up in boots and ruieened ye black tie affair. LOL < I got the impression my good fortune got on a few nerves. πŸ˜€

 

We’ve tried to figure out how I manage to get so damn lucky EVERY TIME shit gets it’s worse. We keep drawing a blank, we think it may be ghosts. πŸ˜€

 

July 13th

If God exists, he is like a chemist in a meth lab, trying desperately to get the payoff from a volatile concoction that could blow up in his face and if he doesn’t, it changes nothing because it was always on US πŸ˜€ In which case I must say, thank God for free will.

 

July 14th

Wow……one should not simply wake up with blood dribbling from their ear.

 

I think I might actually bury the remains of this one. That had to be the most vicious goddamn tick I have ever encountered.

 

The Webster Corrector.

Karma: revised definition. Any event, naturally occurring or otherwise that either reaffirms a correct course of action or lets you know that you done FUCKED up.

πŸ˜€ This has been The Webster Corrector.

 

Yeah, rained out work day, so yall just gonna have to deal with my ass today, recurring bloody ear from a rabid arachnid and all.Β πŸ˜€ But with random moments of guttersnipe wisdom.

No matter how far you run from a plague zone, People will still look at you like you got cooteys, just for being there. LOL < This little message was meant to make everyone think. They sided with my wife because I was more expendable than she was to their little shit they do. Well now they were going to be just as targeted as me. Welcome to my world bitches.