This is from a post I wrote on June 7th 2014. I don’t normally jump ahead in the narrative very often, but this I feel deserves it’s own stand alone post. In a way the knack for writing was starting to return to me, I certainly had enough in the way of fiery ass emotions to carry it. I wanted to share this with you because in a way it kind of melds my reality with the deep seated need to express the emotions that were bottled up in the face of everything. This was a two week period where I did not do much more but sit and cry at moments without rhyme, reason or warning because of everything that had transpired and was still to come. I am, as I have stated spiritual not religious and this, well, it was the ember of a lifelong dream firing up again, I just did not know it at the time. So I now give you the first real poem I had written in many years.
By Shayne Workman
In a limbo, locked in darkness , out of light and out of love. A labrynth in the shadows, a path forged in ones own blood.
Despair steel grips the heart as you round yet another bend, in a life that’s turned into a war that seems to have no end.
A broken body, weary. A soul sick with loneliness,causing reason to twist the mind into seeing death as bliss.
Collapsing in an underpass, now is the time, just let me die. Tired,cold and starving, too dehydrated to cry.
All the ghosts are calling,taunting, you won’t see home again, the deck is stacked against you, there is no way that you can win.
Heart is bleeding, soul is slipping, soon you will be dead and regret sets in for all the things that you have left unsaid. To all the ones, you never let know how much you really care, or as detached as you have always seemed, it meant the world to just be there.
Falling, fading, giving in. Become one with the pain, a rushing release, a freedom that no words could possibly explain.
You know not where you are, just that feeling…..is it love? And her voice drifts softly to you from a distance up above. You have fought so bravely through darkest times for oh so long. In another time a sacrifice worthy of remembrance through song. You have given so much of yourself, to go like this would truly be a crime. So rise my fallen warrior, for it is not yet your time. You have so much yet to offer, with your heart so tried and true and hear my words you may yet find that it is needed soon.
Static fills the air, maybe for hours, maybe days, it’s all the same when seen through eyes in coated milky glaze. When suddenly from those same eyes there burns a white hot blaze. She grabs your fallen body consumed in fires fusing mend, the older layers turned to ash now travels on the wind.
Rise my fallen warrior it is time to be reborn, to be the lightning rod for those who fear the coming storm. Rise up my new Phoenix from the ashes of your past, use that fire in your soul to rend the shadows it has cast. Rise up now and show them all, who you really are, the heart you have has ever been the brightest nighttime star. The power grows within you through what is lost and what is won and you will stand victorious when this war is done. Some have always seen it, some will stand in awe of this new you,but in the end they all will know, that you were always true.