I would continue to milk the punchline for a little less than a week before it had run it’s course with me, but quickly turned focus to another opportunity that presented itself, a nail in the coffin move so to speak. Occasionally through out the Spring and early Summer I would run into someone or other every now and then who would volunteer information on what was happening at the theater. I had tried first to make use of that to aid them from afar, that was until the DVP was raised against me and I ended up out on the streets. Even then I would catch people here and there who would volunteer that information though at that point I was in no position or mind set to even really give a shit, but given the counter measures I was now pursuing I would find the latest tid bit quite useful. There were talks behind closed doors of what the season opener was going to be, however behind closed doors does not exactly mean out of ear shot….. as such, it would certainly raise the question of how I knew. Considering I had been letting on as though I had someone on the inside I had found the one thing that might cause an implosion. The strategy was sound, piss enough people off that news of me was frequent make sure that news included rumors that I might have someone inside, use the knowledge I would gain from randomly running into those who tell things to give those rumors teeth. My ex wife in losing trust of those around her in her paranoia would lash out more at them pissing them off enough to leave or retaliate against her actions against them. By attacking her support, in this fashion it was my hope to either keep her too occupied to even worry about me, or cause enough of a rift that I would have less to worry and look over my own shoulder about. More importantly than the final strike that was followed by my deleting another 40 + people from my list there was my trial that was coming up in a matter of a few weeks on the 19th. Small town court, I was an outsider, my case had already been shuffled to two different Public Defenders and before all of it was over with that number would be bumped up to three. I expected the worse case scenario, but in the midst of it all, I would dedicate myself to getting at least one thing published before I was finally swallowed by my circumstance.
Oh and here are the guided instructions, I have already demonstrated my ability to use this feature, but I just get so damn sick of doing the dirty work myself. I noticed that SOME just wanted to linger and NOW they have a problem with the shit I say. It’s an easy fix, it always was. < A link to the Face Book FAQ page on how to unfriend a person was added to this. There seemed at that point genuine malcontent among everyone as it stood, I was no exception, I felt the darkness inside growing.
TRUTH- The only person who has ever really handed me my ass on a silver platter, was the one person I freely gave my ass to like a good little lap dog.
Not saying to this world, that I am the baddest motherfucker around and THAT is why I’m unbeatable.
I’m unbeatable because there is nothing anyone can do to me at this point, that isn’t going to make me giggle my motherfucking ass off and say “That’s nice, come back when your balls have dropped.”
You wish to tell the whole world that I am truly an asshole, well FOX NEWS beat your ass to that punch already when my arrest put me on blast nationwide.
Take my dignity anyone? 😀 I was handed a book written by the author who was my fathers favorite when he was in prison, by my cell mate on my first day in lock up. I have scrounged 50 cents for a can of Van Kamps from the local Dollar General. I have no dignity to take.
Beat my ass? I have shown the pictures of how well I have done that to myself.
Get me locked up? Been there done that, am fully expecting to go back soon enough with what due process looks like in small towns with banners that read “A community of family and friends”
Get me rooted out from the place I live? Bored now.
Alienate and isolate my ass? Motherfucker you DO know who you’re looking at, right?
There is NOTHING that anyone can threaten me with anymore. It’s been done. My ass has been driven so deep in the dirt and left alive, that NO ONE from that fucking fake ass CANDY LAND I came from could possibly fathom the world I have made home.
“But, but you’re on the edge, you could flip out at anytime.”……Nice theory, but the truth is I don’t give enough of a fuck to bother. I’ll survive, by my will and the help and support of a caring few that I claim as MY people. Everyone else is nothing but the ass end of a joke, meant for my amusement. And why shouldn’t they be? They linger when I have stated that I have no real way to tell friend from foe. They smile through their teeth, lie out their asses, to themselves especially. Care about nothing enough to really fight for it. Many are proven cowards that can’t really take up for themselves or each other for that matter. ( snicker) Not even against cream puffs. I’m so MEAN I’m so JUDGMENTAL. All I can say to that is reap it, clearly my value was judged first. If you don’t like what I say….leave, because there really isn’t anything else you can do.
RN: Tell me how you really feel? lol
Motherfucker of a Supermoon( this is the true Supermoon of 2014) coming up soon. Moon of confusion. Must be THEIR MOON- I’m not confused and you sound reality based. Must be theirs.
Shayne: I feel like I have nothing to lose. And I’m realizing that’s not a bad thing, it just means more room for the good I will see happen.
RN: You’re right! Negativity and destruction only show weakness to predators and they’ll move in for the kill! When it doesn’t cause you to respond to their taunts- they realize you’re stronger then they are. You see it’s different rules and readings then it was as a kid. Kids rules don’t apply anymore.
Diary of a Vagabond King.
One Ziplock baggie AH HA HA HA
Two Ziplock baggies AH HA HA HA. 😀 And why? It’s never smart to put all your eggs in one basket, no matter how well you hide that shit.
Yeah folks,I hate to tell ya….but uh, I could get my own place right now. Two things, first and foremost, it would really just be kinda fucking stupid to lay out a deposit that I couldn’t get back if I get my ass convicted in this stupid legal shit. Two, it would eat the stack and then I’d still have to worry about transport to and from work. Fuck it! I got a good thing going I might as well gut out this whole outdoorsy style while I still have the war…well semi-warm/ cool summer ( remembers hoody, need now, damn storm made shit chilly again) weather on my side to buffer my Goddamn security, so that when or if I get my NOT GUILTY nod, with legal bullshit behind me, I will fully have the means to take THIS FUCKING HOMELESS ISSUE, turn that sumbitch sideways and KICK IT straight down at the end of Jabroni Drive, to the Smackdown Hotel…. 😀 In case you didn’t notice, I’m happy, also a little tipsy but hey, GENUINELY FUCKING HAPPY.
For this, is what I have actually been doing in (whisperz) “The really real world.” (Normal tone again) You know, outside of this fucking fantasy FACEBOOK land……..lol I swear to God, grown adults…lol..You have to admit sometimes it IS like a Goddamn nursery school up in here. 😀 ….LOL Oh shit, good times. Just thought you might want a real update from the frontline, soooo…I gabe ( no wait) gave it to ya. LOL Til next time kiddies, and hopefully with more good newd ( news) LOL
Okay so I was figuring what good was it really to bitchslap people if I wasn’t showing them that I had been making strides to get ahead even as I did so. Like I said it was becoming it’s own drug and somewhere between seeking to put them in their place for their judgement and using them to keep my ex wife guessing and occupied, I started feeding the hatred, but I would soon bring it all to close.
Arachniphobics have it wrong, usually when a spider bites it’s a matter of wrong place wrong time. Ticks actually hunt your ass down, they WANT to attach themselves to you, and they’re a Hell of a lot harder to kill compared to spiders. They’re like little eight legged, blood sucking, terminators. Think about that. 😀 (Just found two more.) < I started noticing another watching at this point, or rather the amazing coincidence of their sudden appearance at the same time as one of the others on the chat list suggesting communication that just so happened to occur when I would post. That one I had not only left alone but had actually supported pretty much the whole time, that again would not matter as once again an epic display would ensue of what sheer fucking stupidity can come from a LACK OF REAL COMMUNICATION. That is all that ordeal even needs to be mentioned for. So ladies and gentleman if you ever find yourself in a situation that you are not sure about, well do what I was too stupid to do and follow the simple logic, If someone follows a need to mask their communication, they really are not making any REAL attempt to communicate at all and have nothing genuine or of any real value to convey. I may look crazy and like I am talking to myself half the time, but at least I make my fucking points in a straight forward non ambiguous fashion. TRUTH, HOLLA 😀
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he doesn’t become a monster.”
I got my victory, I proved my point. You got stunned and shut the fuck down by a hobo, who USED to be a force on your side. All who are left lingering, go ahead and linger. Know that stands for those of my former world. Not the newbies or long distant, they have no part in this. Linger, pull up a chair, grab some popcorn, watch what I do WITHOUT you. The power I leave in your hands is the choice to reconcile or depart. You have that power until the day it is clear that I’m not JUST surviving but actually THRIVING. On that day if you have not made that choice I will. You don’t get to come back AFTER I’m worth something.
RN: Shayne Workman you’re worth something regardless of what you posses. Those that come only in good times are the ones you throw back. But please remember this profound words. Prisons come in many forms.
Shayne: I….am not throwing anyone else back, they have been properly bitch slapped and shown that my CURRENT position is no REAL indication of the STRENGTH I wield. They have also been shown, that just because I fought for me, this time, doesn’t change that it was the same battle I fought for them, inclusion, respect as people. At the core neither me nor my arguments changed. Those who cheered me on before either stopped agreeing with that argument, or was so damn caught up with the false notion that the enemy of my enemy is my friend who fights for me and as a friend would never dream of bitch slapping me over the same shit. Ass kickings take time to process. I’ll give them that, and it’s a damn bit more then they would ever get from some of their own, so is the mercy to back off when I could easily keep dogging them. < The next day I again felt the darkness inside edge towards striking at them more and before the end of the day I would remove them all, all but 37 of the loyal. Always watch yourself when walking a razors edge. For instance with me. Putting them in their place after fucking with me was one thing, using them in a plot meant to break the power of a psychopath is on thing, Continuing on when you have already made your point, allowing the fear of the upcoming trial to add to the hatred of those who actually had not played a part in that, was something else. Know when to draw the line, or you risk becoming the very thing you hate most. Now I would like to make another point about this statement one that went along with the plan. I wonder if those from this time period who were on the receiving end of this shit or the ones who would go on to stick their fucking noses into the fray afterwards ever really caught on to the fact that I have been open with sharing the tactics that I find work as I build myself back up, to where even the ones I left can see it. Consider this if it was just about rubbing my continuing success in anyone’s faces I could just point out that I’m getting ahead, I would not even have to mention HOW. What they or anyone takes or finds useful is for them to decide as is allowing the grudge to keep them from making use of something just because it came from me even when it is workable. Where I had once been ignored and was of little consequence, I GOT THEIR ATTENTION BY TELLING THEM THEY WERE WRONG IN THE MOST LOUD MOUTHED FUCK YOU FASHION, It was time to go into the next phase which would be showing them I was right, it was that phase that would see me start to be more giving again.
😀 Knowledge is what changes the world, and it’s rules.
LOL…… 😀 The few know, some actually get it. MY people. The ones who want their cake and eat it too in a manner that keeps me at a disadvantage…….. They were right, time to focus a little more on people who matter. Fuck monsters, I find myself falling into the same damn trap with those….who may not be monsters but aren’t really human either. It’s costing me.< And it was with these words that I removed most of my already meager list, it was best to get them out of the way for everyone’s sake, theirs for obvious reasons, mine so that I could cage the beast and start to focus on the next part of the plan. I would mope for a few days as I struggled to put that beast back in the cage until I sat down one night in the same mindset that I had been in at the beginning of June when I had wrote the first real poem I had done in years. The story would reveal itself over a course of six days one post per day. That is a big chunk of why August has so few posts, for one thing, there was really no one left to talk to and secondly ……..Well you have seen part of it here already, and will see the rest of it when “The Tale Of The Twin Flames” gets released later this year. Before I go on to the trial I would like to take a moment of recap, for those who have forgotten but mainly for those who have failed to see the BIG PICTURE and still don’t get it. This recap can be seen in entries already here but I will line them up for the sake of letting you know the truth. I have always known where I was going, the how and the when, now that is what has been in constant flux and has caused me to have to be both the General, the Strategist and the Field Commander or the Tactician who has to interpret the unfolding of the situation in order to figure out and forge the path that best carries out the overall strategy.
August 25th 2013
Keep being scared to death over spiders, snakes, rats, death, heights. The only thing that truly terrifies me, is what would become of me the day the wrong Wolf gets fed for the last time, because it’s a beast that understands that a sadness, a doubt, a truth, or a fear can be twisted in a persons heart as effectively as any blade, and the ripples from that twist while slow burning, can be spread just as far as a tactic as common and cheap as a 5 cent romance novel in a thrift shop, that is grabbing a gun and clearing a class room. and would leave me alive and free to continue my work. What you never knew was that every good thing I have ever done, from simple to grand was done to keep that beast that everyone on here has got a taste of recently at bay, or what that struggle has cost me just to keep believing that the good is worth it. I’m not going religious here but someone out there likes every one enough to let Karma show me why I should not be that beast every time it gets on a roll. Here’s hoping my fresh start can keep that bitch caged for good this time. < So….. Lets start at the beginning of this little tale shall we, with the post that would land my ass in jail. I can’t help but marvel at just how many examples of the point I was trying to make with this statement that has been shown just in this narrative alone. both from others and myself. Oh yeah and here too are the following comments that were ignored right along with the rest of the post save for that half a sentence that was taken out of context for the sake of justifying the arrest.
DN: most human beasts were created by the world itself. They simply give back to the world what it deserves. If the world calls me a monster just remember, the world helped to create me this way.
Shayne: I’ve let the world dictate my fate enough, it’s my choice to fight the beast, the idiots of the world will take themselves out in the end, they aren’t worth expending even my diabolical genius on.
JD: So much nicer when my brain reads it in your voice. Nice quote by Hitler there DN.
DN: i quoted hitler?
Shayne: LOL Damn now I’m doing it by accident. < I was actually referring to stirring up shit with the post, sort of my sarcastic way of saying See words can be damaging too….. Oh shit if only I knew where this was going to lead me.
JD: Oh no. I was just being sarcastic. Like Hitler blaming the world because he’s a monster. Just sarcasm.
Shayne: 😀 mine too
DN: oh ok then. its true though whether anyone likes it or not. most of the terrible people of the world were turned that way by the world itself. but whatever. to each their own < Now I might thoroughly bitch slap some motherfuckers for being stupid enough to cross me, but ultimately it comes down to fucking choice. You can CHOOSE to let the world in all it’s fucked up glory break you and make you just like the worst or the least active or you can CHOOSE to USE IT, Use ALL of it to your advantage. Just as I find a way to USE my situation or the people who cross me to my advantage. For the record I don’t just USE everyone…. only the ones who think FUCKING WITH ME is a good idea. Door mats are so early 2000’s 😀
JD: Oh no. I didn’t disagree I was just going to an extremist level with the quote
DN: its all good either. you wont hurt my feelings trust me. lol
RW: *warm thoughts*
February 27th 2014
I vanished without a trace save for my promoting my store front. That is about to change again, complete with a whole new demeanor. It has taken me 2 weeks to finally grasp that my anger no longer has anywhere to go, as there is nothing left of my former life to even strike at anymore. That in it’s own right can be….a jagged little pill, All pissed off and nowhere to blow. 😀
It’s been kind of like a cheap ass reality show. So why not own it. I have nothing left to bitch about, but what I do have is a perfect scenario to be documented. You have seen the fall you know the situation, now you will see if I can get back up from what could be, the end. If I don’t you will know why, if I do you will see how. There will be something worth knowing either way either for protection or inspiration. Unspoken Ethic is going to be all about realignment of self through beating a chosen set of priciples into my own head. Now you will get the full measure of just how hard I am on myself, and trust me everyone else got off light. 😀 < I repeat, I ALWAYS KNEW where I was going with this. You like the name? Does it look familiar? 😀
April 7th 2014
Remember when I said; if I fall you will know why and if I rise you will know how? In the coming days you will have the opportunity to see for yourself, the guide lines I have started adhering to in order to regain a personal code and sense of identity. It is called The Unspoken Ethic and it is going through the last stages of development as we speak. It is part of a strategy to build Something of real benefit to everyone, but as such is going to have to gradually build while I proceed with other steps to further secure the ground I stand on. < Ohhhh There it is again, along with a glimpse of what it will go on to be used for. Not long after this post was put up this very blog opened up with a single post that would be all it would see until I started putting in my entries in mid-October. Are some of you getting it now? Is it becoming a little more clear?
June 23rd 2014
Diary of a vagabond king:
I figured maybe I should try a phone call first. The call did not help, I have to go in person, maybe tomorrow I can use this leg without it staying on fucking fire. It was a downer….and proof that I am still a virgin in this new life. Last night I got my ass handed to me, because I broke the first rule, be aware in the moment, to NOT let your mind wander into territory that will do me no good. Should have watched my fucking step.
Got a visitor on my side of town from Hobo Alley. Kenny 😀 we jawed a couple hours about where we came from, to be here. We laughed because he became the fourth person this week that I scared the fuck out of when he happened across me in the dark. You’re good people man, I got your back, you watch. I’m gonna go get me a beer. And with those words he went off doing his thing. 😀 My leg, and what feels like a pinched nerve in my rib cage still hurt like a bitch, but I had to admit it helped seeing that I’m not out here on my own, there are those who know the story, because it’s not unlike their own.
I think of him, the guy in the house at the end of the road around the corner from the park, who offered water as I came back into town the other day, the GAR catcher 😀 who said to me if you need anything man come on over, these are hard days for everyone. The lady who just passed by who said the same thing, after telling me it’s hard living outside, I know, I’m lucky at the moment. She lives in the house on the corner here, with no electric. It dawns on me in that moment, it should have always been them.
Say whatever the fuck you will about those with nothing, or next to it. But from what I’ve seen, from where I sit I can honestly say aside from those who have always stood by me, that I have truly found a better class of losers than I have ever known or been a part of. And it should have always been them that I put my effort into, they deserve it, the difference any help these people get is REAL, not smoke and mirrors, not I give a shit about you but the very mention of you is a conflict of interest……Yeah, you damn right my eyes are open now. I might be pissed at this lot in life, if I didn’t have every reason in the world to be so damn grateful for it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bit of forgotten history to burn.
Dated Monday June 23rd < Wow, It’s starting to look to me like all the pieces are falling into place and have been as I have went along. Now I will close this little recap with a couple of far more recent posts that you have not seen.
January 9th 2015
Smile what else can you do about it? Once the idea was formed all the way back in September of 2013 when I decided to make myself felt and heard by refusing to be that quiet casualty of unfortunate circumstance and after my unceremonious booting, the base started getting laid, with the inception of the unspoken ethic in April. I was rather unclear about where to go with it all for certain. Fate it seems and the vindictiveness of another gave me my answer. You see life doesn’t give us the luxury of our best laid plans going off without a hitch, and we through personal fault often times set ourselves back, so the trick begins becoming HOW TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE. The good and the bad cards in your hand can be flipped if you learn how to use it all to your advantage. I have said before strength and weakness are as much situational as they are personal. Did I always know? No a lot of times I thought about how to use it later whether it was an emotional outburst or a freshly built blog site in the belief that there would come a point that it could all be made to fit what I was building towards. Now I also told you back during my little one man war, that it was a pickle, there was really no way of knowing if I was just hateful over my situation or laughing at the rise I was getting. Either way, whether you hated me for it, or loved it, you have to admit, you lingered for a reason, looking at the train wreck that I had made of myself and that accomplished something I never could in my previous position, that ghosted through life unnoticed. The loudest motherfucker in the room keeps all eyes on them and that would add to the element of surprise later, wouldn’t it. When I kept a childhood promise and a lifelong ambition in becoming published and then moved forward now with a blog that I told you about way back in April, and have begun PUBLICLY showing step by step how I am building my audience using the very things that I was writing the whole time. Savvy?
January 9th 2015
You know that I have lost a lot over the last year, hit rock bottom, somehow managed to survive, and part of it was will power, part of it was support that I forgot I had, part of it was learning the curve of how to make it as I went along. In June I experienced set backs constantly as I even tried to actually move forward, and like is always the case with how my damn brain works I took into consideration all that I was finding wrong with the things that were put into place to aid people who were in my position. For instance I remembered going to shelters looking for information, that I was not able to find AT the shelters, I would then have yet another place to go, to call, to deal with even as I was limited in my means to utilize what was available. Many of the people I found sitting under that interstate exit outside of shelters too full to help them were in the same boat as me, without even bus fare, most times I walked miles to get to where I needed to be, only to find that what I was looking for information wise or actual application had to be dealt with elsewhere and an already uphill struggle was made even worse by that fact. It dawned on me then that it is not always a matter of there not being anything, just a matter that all these groups and organizations that offered anything to help were kind of doing their own thing. When you are dealing with a society issue, this approach fails, because a society issue requires a more concentrated effort where more people are on the same page with knowing and cooperating with the others who are like minded. If I had been able to learn where the best places to go for all these different programs that were available just by acquiring that information from the first shelter I visited, it would have saved a lot of leg work for someone not in the best position to carry that load.Efficiency goes a long way towards solving a problem rather than, well, like I said putting a Band-Aid on a boo boo that actually needs stitches. These were the ideas and thoughts that I started kicking around and recording as I went along on my journey and it became the foundation for outlining the purpose of The Blue Purity Foundation.
Some speak of light, but I do not know if in the process of FUCKING WITH ME they bothered to notice that I have been carrying a torch through this whole ordeal. And what of those whose light have diminished because they have squandered theirs FUCKING WITH PEOPLE and as in my case WITHOUT PAYING ATTENTION to what they were trying to get in the way of? Show me a world where they don’t get in my fucking face over their lack of vision, and I won’t do what is necessary to get them out of my fucking face. As for fame, I would expect that to be the limited mind set for some too use to those who wish to etch their legacies in e data and celluloid, I intend for mine to be etched in the stone foundations of something people REALLY NEED. Now I’m not trying to be mean here, just honest. And this is not directed at those from my distant past as I have stated I have no wish to repeat the battle of last year. and to take me down was NEVER THEIR INTENT. That said please allow me to close this by jumping ahead to a post from October where I would finally explain what happened at my trial on August 19th, I would put off telling the details for awhile as I tried to grasp what it could really mean me facing.
October 12th 2014
I want to come clean with something here. After finding out what I did from my sister I came to realize that if I am still being HUNTED to that degree, then no one here on this list is ratting me out. So I want to level with you on something only a few actually know. 😀 On August 19th I went to my trial, a lot of shit was going through my head at that point. I was an outsider in a small town court room facing a felony with a BIG scary word in it. I had already spent two months figuring out that logic and reason just doesn’t cut it where some people are concerned. Thus I knew walking in that courtroom that I did not stand a chance in Hell. When the SECOND of THREE public defenders that my case has been shuffled around to came up to me and said that the state was finally offering a deal that wiped out the felony which was the mother load that could have fucked my life good and proper I said yes. Fuck it failure is only temporary, I’ll lose a battle to stay in the war. 😀 I say this because if I seem reluctant to launch into certain topics it is because I STILL don’t know how this is going to play out. I now know the extent to which it can, Possible $500 fine and or incarceration up to six months or the procecutions suggestion of probation. Now ultimately it is all in the judges hands at this point, he could say home confinement, probation, one month in jail, Hell it’s possible however unlikely that he could take the fact that I have already been out and about for over a year with no further arrests and say $500 fine and time spent. In all likelyhood I’ll get probation, I DOUBT I will see a cage over this shit again. I went back in September to enter the plea, went back again to meet with the probation officer, and yes my drug screen came back clean, I really am just this damn crazy 😀 In a little over a month I have my sentencing, until then I am STILL stuck under the terms of my bond, which means I am still trapped in this state. This isn’t a haunting nightmare anymore but it is still very much an obstacle in front of my optical to slow me down. Now as for that waste of time DVP which should also come up for review some point next month. 😀 Lets just say that my replacement as ENFORCER, isn’t the brightest bulb, as he has left a trail of bread crumbs that can be documented. If he has no standing restraining orders against me himself logic dictates that he isn’t trying to find me for his benefit and harrassing my family for that information instead of simply asking me shows he isn’t doing it for my benefit. What does the best friend of my ex wife, her VICE PRESIDENT tracking me down tell you, nah scratch that, what do you think it will tell the judge? I am done with this bullshit, I have earned my fucking freedom and as you can see there is not going to be a revenge kick I’m just too damn busy looking good to give a fuck. 😀 – Love BIG CAT