Most of the month of July is going to be mainly narrative, because if anyone out there has ever Face Book battled a peer or group for that matter it ultimately looks incoherent because it is often one sided unless you are connected with both parties or know who it is being directed against in order to get the bigger picture. This month saw the beginning of my reign as king of what I was calling the Lonely Mountain. The last few days of June saw things start to get bleak, actually they were starting to get bleak since my last injury that had kept me down for a whole week. Communication can be a double edged sword especially when your only real way to connect is through anything like social media because there is simply no real way to avoid seeing or learning how the world you were once a part of continues. No way to avoid the memories of what you once had. No way to not compare it to where I was stuck and it had a way of bringing the stark reality of what I was facing into focus. Homelessness alone can put a person under, every victory counts and it was made even more so by the fact that they could only be half victories until I faced my final judgement at my trial in August. I could have fought my way back from Hell and there was still that looming prospect that it would have been for nothing depending on how things went at my trial. Many days and nights I sat by the train tracks contemplating becoming the fourth in the last few years to meet their end on those very tracks. I learned a couple hard lessons in those days, I felt like a cat that was going off to some unknown location to die. Lesson one: There is a fate worse than death or dying alone, and that fate is being forgotten on top of it. Lesson two: Suicidal thoughts are never more frightening than they are when it is not depression or manic discontent that causes them, but rather when they are driven by logic. You see it in the zombie shows and movies, the person who sticks the gun in their mouth because it is a better alternative to being eaten alive, but there is a huge difference when you are actually faced with what looks like a lose, lose situation all the way around making an end to it appear a more viable solution then trying to keep fighting a losing battle. Enter the assholes, in a normal mindset their dumb ass little jabs would have been a minor inconvenience, easily ignored, but when you are fighting a downward spiral as it is on top of the above mentioned thoughts on the the world I came from it starts becoming more, it is no longer just A THING it is ONE MORE THING and ONE THING TOO FUCKING MANY. If they had bothered to even say Hi once in awhile, they might have had an argument on my unreasonable point of view. Sitting here now I remember a line in a movie spoken by another former homeless underdog who would go on to rise above their station in life, Sylvester Stallone, going through my mind as the month of July progressed. “They drew first blood, not me.” It was all fucking retarded looking back on it now, but for me it was a matter of principle I had to face enough fucking indignities in my position without letting a bunch of dicks with low self esteem and over inflated egos convince me of what my value was just because of my current standing. Maybe they believed it, maybe they just wanted me to be the asshole villain because it would make them feel less like shit for knowing someone who their little politics and way of operating almost fucking killed, everyone does it, fuck I’ve done it, it’s the little things we tell ourselves to assuage a guilty conscience “It was probably going to happen like this anyway.” That sort of thing. Whatever it was they were quick to make me the bad guy of the piece. Fury became my saving grace against the logic and before Summer was out they would learn just as another wise man once said. “Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it and if you get it then you might not know what to do with it, cause it might just come back on you ten-fold.” – Eminem
Holy shit! Sunburn and sandstone do NOT meet well. < This was not bullshit exactly, it just was not major enough to even post about. The only reason I did was to continue gauging the reaction of certain parties who continued to insist on only liking posts like this. I will quasi reveal the identity of the little bitch in time and it was one from the past but for now I will just let it stand with this.
NC: I am not sure if like is the right word. FB should have a Yikes button.
😀 You’re all so damn cute when you’re angry. LOL
Especially when you take the stuff you see here on FB so personally. Come on Yall….only UPTIGHT people do that. < This was in reference to a conversation I had with the main culprit a couple months prior , Did I mention how much I love throwing a persons words right back in their fucking face? Holy shit, maybe I am more of a politician than I thought. 😀
I cry your pardon all. It seems I’ve forgotten my Sweeney Todd. There’s a price to be paid for getting lost in a monster created by injustice. < This would be my final attempt to get them to stand down. Just block them. Many would say, fair enough. I don’t operate that way, the first thing I would do is give them a few chances to just simmer down and if they don’t, well, to every action states the law of physics. Karma comes in many forms, I like to think the type of asshole that I am is one of them. At least I’m honest.
Diary of a vagabond king: So the other night I’m laying up on the river bank, watching the new 300 movie.( Back when I got my phone card to reactivate my phone I discovered some left over Google cash from back when I was working. grin emoticon I had been using it for music because it was too much of a pain in the ass to keep stopping what I was doing for YouTube.) Three guys, came up on me, one was Kenny, clearly shitfaced drunk, the other two I did not know, but they confessed to being fucked up on Norco and weed.
Now they were just checking to see if I was alive ( maybe, considering what happened next, that may have just been a bullshit line.) They did not know I had my blade in hand, like always at night and I did not know the fuckers would be stupid enough to get that close without stating their purpose. What happened when I shot upright COULD have ended badly. They fell back quickly, Kenny, who I only then recognised almost went down on the rocks he was so fucked up.
Everything cooled down as quickly as it happened, the unrecognized two went their way, Kenny who wasn’t making a fucking bit of sense passed out on the fishing pier. I was left to think about what ALMOST happened. If I stay, I will either end up dead, or end up having to take someone else out, neither is an option I’m willing to deal with.
The following night I go on a scavenger run to Kanawha City, did not want to go back to the riverbank. The scavenger hunt is fruitless accept for getting me out of town for a few hours. I sat down on a rock and dosed off, maybe an hour. I can’t remember what I dreamed only the last thing said before I woke up “Hey man, get up here.” I notice it’s dawn and decide fuck it I’m going topside, where I plug in my phone and collapse across the table top of the bench, grin emoticon not two minutes later there came a torrential downpour.” Saved by a fucking dream, I thought.
Shit changed after that. Something out there still wants my ass alive. I don’t get it anymore than the rest of you. I left that riverbank, that town, those fucking drunks always trying to entice me into becoming like them, content to piss my last in a drunken state in some forgotten fucking corner of civilization. I went into a new spot in the wilds, now this might sound fucked up, but it is true. I stumbled blindly into a landscaping job.
Work, the almighty stabilizer, the one thing that creates a desperately needed sense of NORMALCY. At the moment it’s all good in the hood, it’s time for me to go away for a while, try to build funds, take this moment of stability and focus once more on my legal shit, not afraid to say between principle and the fact the bastard may have killed any chance I did have of getting out, I wouldn’t mind five minutes alone with the fucker from Ravenswood who made that damn threat.
At the end of it all, I’m still not sure if there is any going home. This may be something I can come back from, moments like this give me a reason to hope that I can, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ll never be the person I used to be again. Good or bad I won’t really know the answer until I get set up for the life that comes after, there is no point in trying to figure that out now. Until next time I get a wild hair up my ass to say something….fuck it I’m gonna go look for that turkey I hear.
The preceding took place between Sunday June 29 and Wednesday July 2
NC: Here’s to hoping for light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong. < She would know better than anyone, as it was her who came and saved my ass from the riverbank and put me up on top of the Lonely Mountain. Though with the situation involving my being hunted by my ex wife, and because of what happened the last time she found out I was there, as I was staying about 200 yards from where I was arrested, it was agreed upon to keep it under wraps. A factor that would pay off in the long run. With a place to stay and a job that I was not expecting I wasn’t exactly lying when I said I stumbled onto it…. I was simply telling the truth, from a certain point of view.
Shayne: I’m trying and I hope that light isn’t the C train.
EOS: Any chance u know the fucker from ravenswood name… I could arrange a 5 minute meeting. ..
Shayne: I didn’t read past the point where I knew I was fucked to be honest.
TCH: I saw that too. I thought of you and thought, “Damn!”. Glad u found a job and a new spot. Shayne Workman, I’ve been through a lot of tragedy in my life. I don’t know about Physical evolution but do know, we evolve mentally through life, never to be the person we were before. That’s part of the purpose of the journey. The hope is to learn and grow. I hope you will achieve this.
Shayne: Mentally I have grown to learn that the element of surprise can give ONE person a Hell of an advantage even against THREE. Lol I know I shouldn’t laugh. They REALLY were not expecting me to suddenly go from prone to standing and coming at them snarling like a fucking animal. Have to say I’m grateful for Kenny, the moment we figured out who each other were was the moment and reason the situation defused so fast.
Diary of a vagabond king side note: You know those fucking scared straight programs for troubled youth? I think we should go one step further, I think we should take law makers, judges, cops and corporate leaders strip them of outside assistance, cut them off from their bank accounts, give their asses one nickle and two pennies and tell them to live for three days in the world they help make.
Maybe they’ll learn the truth. There is no wisdom or intelligence in politics, no real strength that comes from standing on the shoulders of ass kissers that can’t sulley their hands to stand for something that really MATTERS because doing so would mean they would have to stand AGAINST something or someone else. No CONTROL that does not turn a solid foundation into a house of cards just waiting to be blown over. No case where one LITTLE thing can undo so much, that there isn’t more than ONE little thing that will undo it. Maybe they and everyone else would actually see, they are only human and not the gods among them that they are often mistaken for.
In the words of Audrey Hepburn “Wouldn’t it be lovely?” LOL No worries brother I will NEVER SELL OUT! < I was sent a message from one of my people telling me to never sell out.
RN: Brother I’m proud of you! Welcome to the true realities of the USA.
Please checkout a post on Russia and the dollar I posted just now? THIS IS the trouble ahead that I told you would be what put everyone in same position. It’s like a train coming head-on at the USA and there’s nothing government can do to stop it- since we charged the costs of the last three wars in mid-east.
Diary of a vagabond king:
Happy 4th of July to all, and in light of that fact, this will be a rather unusually upbeat edition. Ever since my legal ordeal began I annoy the shit out of myself by getting “soft” for lack of a better term whenever a holiday comes around. LOL Yesterday I had my first real day on the job clearing debris and weeds in such from a clients yard. Checking fire wood to see what was good and what had rotted in the weather. It felt damn good to have a PURPOSE again. The job took me in the direction of Alum Creek and out towards Lincoln County, which I haven’t been to for awhile so it was a nice change of scenery. My supervisor David gave me an advance in light of my situation. Landscaping bosses seem to be some of the coolest fucking people to work for in that regard. I had a friend once who had worked for a couple different crews and he tended to get the same kind of treatment.
After stopping at Walmart at the end of the day for provisions and an important wardrobe upgrade, I headed back to camp. That night I hear the howl of a coyote, there in lies the trade off with moving your camp further out from society, the wild life is more varied and some things are bigger than a raccoon or opossum. Still better than being trotted up to by a fucking pillhead in the middle of the night.
I get a call this morning, the crew ain’t working today, holiday and all. So I walk about two miles to my nearest neighbor Roy, who owns the land I stay on and is how I got my job. Take a shower, charge my phone, help him put a manifold back together, stayed for a cook out and then headed back to camp.
Found me a damn good stick on the way back. grin emoticon Don’t gotta worry no more about preserving 15 dollar shoes that have reached their damn end in the last three days after God knows how many miles, some of which over mean ass terrain. I do something I have not done in a long time, Dragon’s Fang. That was the name I gave my self developed sword kata, that I used to do at night using a lightsaber, it’s a form of exercise and meditation. It starts slow, utilizing some modified stances and movements from Tai-Chi and as I get warmed up the speed and techniques change and pick up and then it slows again towards the end bringing heart rate and breathing back to normal and everything into stronger focus.
Feel better now than I have for months. The weekend is here again, but hey, I have work tomorrow, ain’t it cool? Next week I need to make some calls to check up on my other shit, everything that helps…helps even if I’m not as dependant on it at the moment as I was when I had nothing else going for me.
The preceding took place between Thursday July 3 and Friday July 4 < The location of the job and the crew were all fabrications to keep my true location a secret.
TCH: Glad it’s getting a little better. Hang onto that job and hang in there in general. You are tough and you will survive.
Shayne: 😀 No one will ever get fortunate enough to be rid of me. Even if I do get locked up, I am making backlogs now. You can bet your ass, if I have to have a midget with access to my account, that I write to periodically, as long as there’s a breath in my body and a thought in my head I will still annoy the Hell out of everyone with it……God sometimes I can’t even stand my damn self. LOL
TCH: Without determination you and we humans in general would not make it thru hard times. Use it.. Even if you annoy yourself and others…
NC: Glad you had a great holiday. It is nice to hear the job is working out for you.
Now we come to the fun day, the day I officially started letting fly my first volley. I would start pissing off many people this day and looking back, even though I was not breaking any terms of the DVP I had on me, let’s face it, it’s Face Book, word gets around and when that word is letting fly with dirty little secrets while taking pot shots at everyone else….. Welll… There is no law against telling the truth, Savvy?
Faster than your average Charlie Westian, More fun than an EXECUTIVE decision to get stoned and knock a giant hole in the wall that will never get fixed. IT’S MEEE!!! on a riding lawn mowey. AH HA HA HA HA !!! 😀 < First off Charlie West was the new dumb ass travel ad jargon for people from Charleston West Virginia . Secondly, I added a link to the Geico commercial of the street luge pig for the Hell of it and third,Yeah I just told everyone that the executive branch of the board of my former theater got high one night and thought it wise to remodel without funds or intent to actually work on it, just sort of satisfy a curiosity about a sealed room. It was a shot, but it was also my way of starting to let people know, who were told just how terribly dangerous I was that the truth of why my wife was going out of her way to eliminate me from the picture was because I knew shit. 😀
TCH: I think I know the hole you’re referring to 🙂
Since once more I have fallen asleep at the damn computer after a long night, and because it is Memorial Day and I really don’t want to get deep into the dumb ass hate mongering on a day people spend with their families and honoring the memories of their loved ones I will break it here until I return to finish the month of July.