I want everyone reading this to stop and picture if you will for a moment what mid-April looks like in the US. Bills have come due and utilities get cut off while everyone is still tucked away in their homes trying to get a handle on the virus situation. This happens because not many can get to work and that little one-time government check of $1200 wasn’t enough to cover the cost of living in America. Panic and anger take over and people here and there start snapping. We’re talking the beginning of civil disobedience as desperation starts prompting people to take matters into their own hands for survival. Now picture if you will what May looks like as more and more people start openly breaking quarantine measures, the virus starts getting worse as the number of infected starts to skyrocket in the face of people’s defiance and looting and other small skirmishes start breaking out. By June places like New York start looking like the images, we all saw in Hong Kong during the protests in 2019.

Times like now are nothing any of us alive today have ever experienced, and honestly, I have no confidence in our leadership in seeing their answer to this crisis. Many states were waiting for the order to come from the federal government and it never came, so the states started taking their own measures to head the problem off while everyone in Washington was trying to figure out what pet projects they could exploit the immediate need for aid to the people to get through and a package was made that many would argue is completely out of touch with the needs of the citizens in this time of crisis. It was with this in mind that I started a petition through which I will link below. It’s clear to me now that the best option for the people is to look out for each other because we can’t trust our leaders to have our interest at heart. Throughout this entire ordeal, there have been things that could have been done that would have already set the minds of the people at ease for the weeks ahead and I fear that if something is not done to effectively do just that, we could be looking at genuine riots in a time when that would be the last thing we need.

We are facing an unprecedented crisis with the global COVID-19 pandemic. Many of our states are on lockdown in an effort to stop the spread of the disease, preventing many of our citizens from being able to work and support their families. In this time while Congress is fighting to reach an agreement for some manner of an economic stimulus package to alleviate the stress on the people, we are faced with the question of what happens when we can’t pay our bills. With the current state of panic, the American public is in I strongly urge Congress or the President to immediately make any disconnect of any utility illegal during this state of emergency in order to prevent any chaos that may ensue as a direct result to having utilities disconnected when many are powerless to do anything thing about it as we try to pull together in a concentrated effort to protect our nation. The people are doing their part, we need our government to put aside whatever ideological differences they may have so that they can do theirs. Infuse the utility companies as necessary to allow them to continue to operate during this time, but prevent them from being able to disconnect any service to any citizen during this crisis.

Urge Congress To Make Utility Disconnect Illegal Across The Board During Emergency.

I have posted in the past about people in positions of power, money, influence, are seldom held accountable for their actions. I have made this point particularly against the workings of Hollywood and the way their politics have bled over into everyday society. Speaking only on things that have been made public record, such as the contractual hijacking of a persons childhood that Disney places on it’s child stars, most of whom are not even deemed old enough to be granted the responsibility of a driver’s license or hold hold a standard job when they are first contracted to become these stars. I have spoken on convicted child rapists who escape they’re penalty being gifted an Academy Award for their work. I have mentioned the ability they have to say and do things openly in the public that the average citizen would get arrested for. All of this is pretty much open and available knowledge, there has always been this rumored underbelly of the beast that has been swept under the rug by their own…..Until now. Now like wildfire people are being outed into the light of day and it is showing no signs of letting up, in fact it is growing. The Harvey Weinstein allegations and subsequent punishment has sparked the #MeToo movement against sexual harassment by women in droves. And while Rose McGowan may down play the actions of a child rapist, whose victim was A BOY, it seems now that former 80’s child star Corey Feldman has had enough with pedophilia being overlooked as a major issue in Hollywood, now he has always spoke up about it, but until recently with so many victims making cases against powerful people in the industry the climate is now right to make the biggest impact and he is making his move, which hopefully brings out the cavalry. My only issue with all of this is that we are seeing some cases come to light which are early signs of the Witch Hunt Syndrome society tends to get whenever something like this becomes a big deal and every body suddenly wants to push to do something about this issue that has been in our faces this whole time. The same thing happened in the education system post Columbine shooting, when everyone decided that they should fear their own schools getting shot up. What this led to initially was kids who were being bullied at the time, now not only had to deal with their tormentors, but the scrutiny of the faculty as well who automatically put them into the suspected potential for mass violence list. Years and multiple mass media covered shootings later, my own incarceration over a misrepresented line in something I wrote became further proof of what happens when we as a society get on a roll with screaming for justice too loudly to hear reasoning over top of it.

That said, I am glad to finally see people trying to take back a very influential industry from predators who have milked secrecy for far too long, and have gained far more power than they deserve because of it. I just want to stress, be mindful of the possible overextentions that have a tendency to follow such a huge movement. BURN IT DOWN, just keep it within the boundaries.

Now you may be wondering why I bring any of this up and how it is in any way relevant to the topic I am about to go into, well here is my answer. You have to wonder why it is pedophilia can be allowed to go under the radar in Hollywood for so long, why an 80’s child star is now standing up to be the hero for others that no one wanted to be for him and the only thing that I can come up with is money, the people who make it and help others make it are people no one wants to stand against. What I am about to tell you is further proof, that there is something terribly wrong with society’s mentality. You see Hollywood is not the only place that has been quietly making children victims. I am referring to Health care in America, in the forms of both denying a child coverage of insurance, or the out right refusal to treat a child all together. The following are example pulled from petitions from


For me it began last year with the signing of this petition to help an infant child get put back on the transplant list after being removed, for reasons that she may be developmentally slow. Now I will not rehash the story of baby Lily, you can find it on my page Loss Column

Baby Lily, never did get back on the list in her home area and she died one of the last losses of 2016 on December 31st. That was a hard one because I shared that petition almost daily sometimes in several places. It was beyond me how Health Care providers could leave a child, who had a chance to live to die like that. It seems it does not stop there.

Before I go further I want to cover what is “Claimed” to be the cornerstone of health care givers when they enter the field. Below are both the original Hypocratic Oath as well as it’s reboot for modern language, What I will show you next will make you further question whether or not some health care providers may have mistaken it as the Hypocritical Oath.

Original Version

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art—if they desire to learn it—without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

Reboot Version

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife or the chemist’s drug.

I will not be ashamed to say “I know not,” nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient’s recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person’s family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.


People have said that the pain that is felt during kidney failure can be compared to woman being in labor. You might also add that rather than a life being produced at the end of it, a life ends instead. In the above petition a situation is laid out where that is exactly the fate health care providers have placed on a 2 year old child on account of his father being a parole violator….You heard that right people. Sins of the father has sentenced an innocent 2 year old to a painful death unless something is done to prevent this from happening. I’m sorry is that not often the type of thing that we use as justification for dropping bombs on other countries? When this child is on his death bed, he may still be too young to ask how much more grateful he is to live in the United States than anywhere else in the world. I ask you how is this not criminal enough for the law to step in and either force them to try to do something, or strip them of their license? Let’s ask the US Government, who are here to make America Great Again shall we?

Well congress seems content to drag it’s feet on the matter, but then not four years ago dragging it’s feet is exactly what caused a government shut down. Yes that was BEFORE our current President took office, old habits seem to die hard. Every body wants that pay and to have their own health coverage for life, but make a choice that may see them jeopardize that re election campaign and their strength and good judgement, disappears.

I will say this once. When it comes time to scream how pro life you are in enforcing anti abortion laws everyone steps up. When it comes time to show how “Pro Life” you really are when it comes to ensuring the quality of life for the young folk once they are born, “Pro Life” looks a lot more like “Pro Capitalism”

There is something terribly wrong with the mentality of humanity, a wall that blocks us from the good will of common sense. The thing that disturbs me most about it is the indication of how little we honestly care about the future of our people, particularly that of our young folk. You want to know History, you want to know how it is that every great civilization falls, how can it not when it’s only idea of investment is in profit and not in ensuring the quality of life of it’s future generations, especially the ones whose shoulders the most powerful stand on? All of the above are direct links to these petitions, so if you are reading this, you can also go and sign them yourselves, if you see where I am coming from with this. I have already signed and shared them all on social media. If we want a future for our people, the responsibility is as much ours as any politician’s. There is a wall that is blocking us from the future, a REAL FUTURE, and it’s time, much like what people in Hollywood have decided, to BURN IT DOWN! BURN IT DOWN! BURN IT DOWN!


Ladies and gentlemen, after multiple delays and sidetracking of a sort unworthy of mentioning in detail. “The Diary Of A Vagabond King” has finally arrived. I am working on getting it uploaded to various sites as it stands it will hit Amazon first at some point in the morning. Nevertheless it has been released at long last. And yes I noticed people looking for the advertisement here after putting it up on Facebook. This is not a drill, or false alarm. The book is out there, find it, buy it, read it. Have a blessed day. – Love BIG CAT


I’ve mentioned in the past that I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD. I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve never really told you all what it means to be BIG CAT constantly fighting a battle with this shit. Lets start with what has to be the most annoying ass symptom.

I am bipolar, I don’t have a VW Bug in my head with all of the safety features, I have a Lamborghini with a hair trigger gas pedal and shitty ass breaks. Take your average Joe who dwells on a thought for a couple hours and this one thought spreads to a new thought and then a new one. These thoughts add up and puts average Joe in a mopey ass funk after a day maybe two, maybe a week. Enter bipolar motherfucker, now the chain of thoughts that took mopey boy a couple days to really fuck him up takes the bipolar motherfucker all of a minute because of the way thoughts race through his mind. In my experience this is by far the key to this mood disorder, because thoughts generate emotion and when thoughts come popping off in rapid fire succession the emotion builds just as fast.

Now before I go on, I want to take a moment to describe for you the two manic states. There is the happy, full of energy state. I have been in this sort of state before, this is the one where emotional shifts are probably the most visible and again, the racing and sometimes shifting thoughts I find are what causes this. The second manic state is driven by all of the negative emotions and is really the equivalent of HULKING OUT. The second type is the one most prevalent in my case. In truth for the most part, I have very rarely managed to get in the first type of manic state without medication. * POINT: Medication never really prevented any of the symptoms in me, they just seemed to trade off the type of manic state or they changed up what symptoms showed themselves. No matter which manic state you find yourself in, it is while in the manic state that such other symptoms like Insomnia, and the dreaded Panic Attack occurs, as well as another annoying one for both the person in the manic state as well as those around them EXCESSIVE WASTED MOTION. This last one makes it real easy to mistake someone in a manic state for a crack fiend, though drugs don’t have shit to do with it. As for me I pace……. like a lot. 😀 Just one of those things that led to taking the name BIG CAT.

How emotion effects ones physiology. Okay for this I will take you step by step through the manic state I most commonly deal with. A thought that sparks anger either initiated in my brain, or triggered by the acts of another sets off the chain reaction of thoughts that generate ANGER. Now remember the key to the mood disorder, is the thoughts popping off in rapid fire succession and so when it comes to ANGER, I can go from 0 to 90 in a matter of seconds. All muscles get rigid and tighten up, or draw up more accurately. Think of how a dead spider draws up into a ball. The heart rate increases pumping the blood faster causing a rise in body temperature, the next thing that happens is you start to feel like you have fucking Pop Rocks going off all through your insides and the worst fucking part of it all. Your brain is still firing those thoughts BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. They won’t stop, they won’t slow down, it causes frustration to add to the overall effect and it all happens so damn fast between the initial trigger and the point all of this takes place that it is damn near impossible to catch it before it goes. * NOTE: Some of the ways to catch it is to focus on a physical act, such as walking, the natural state of the body in motion can sometimes cancel out what your body is going through and can provide a distraction from those thoughts that are causing it. If you jam the tide and insert a good thought you can sometimes trick your brain into resetting itself before meltdown. 

What comes next is what I call the Bipolar hangover. Now instead of your brain firing off rapidly it locks up, by this time you have ran from ANGER, to DESPAIR and it’s like trying to start a car that’s been sitting in 3 degree weather. This is the down swing and it can be a motherfucker to fight your way back from. You can’t hold focus, you can’t get motivated, your ass tends to stay tired and unable to do much without forcing yourself. I think that while the manic state is caused by the racing thoughts the downswing is most likely caused by the burnout from the manic state. The down swing can last for days sometimes weeks making it a pain in the ass to get anything done.

PTSD: Now I want to take a minute and introduce you to what is most likely the primary reason that I have the HULK OUT type manic state more than the happy one. It is also why it is so easily triggered, most especially by things can be associated with what caused the PTSD in the first damn place. This too is a good source of panic attacks, Insomnia, My personal favorite NIGHTMARES, and a good dose of body shock which is like a type of numbness both emotional and physical, it’s like being here without being HERE. Another of my favorites JUMPINESS most especially at unexpected physical contact. * YES another one of those traits that led to taking the name BIG CAT. 

Over the course of the last year with going through divorce, homelessness, and a Felony case. I have had so many fucking triggers set off it wasn’t funny, and it damn near overwhelmed me more times than I can count. I have been without medication for well over a year now and somehow I STILL manage to function. Barring having to deal with idiots who have no clue why pissing me off is not a good idea. 😀 You’re going to trigger something inside of a motherfucker and then act like he’s the bad guy, rather than being reasonable or sensible in how you handle things, That’s all well and good, but don’t fucking cry when I lay into you. But that gets into a whole nother thing, that gets into how one MENTAL DISORDER can trigger or RELY on another to function.

I have a wall that I have to climb in order to accomplish anything, and that has been the main reason for my breaks in productivity as I attempt to write, and run two Face Book pages and two twitter accounts for both my writing and this blog respectively. Because as an independent writer PR falls to me as well.  Sometimes I falter. Sometimes I fall behind, BUT most importantly sometimes I actually get the shit done. If I have a message in this it is simply that.NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CAN COME OUT AHEAD. – Love BIG CAT