yugiscared  V.S. Seto-Kaiba-seto-kaiba-8605922-1024-768

Okay having concluded The Book of The Sith, I was fighting to see what among my favorite things I could geek out on next for my readers. I have selected Yu-Gi-Oh! In this particular entry I am going to be covering the nature of the rivalry between Yugi and Seto Kaiba. For those who are unfamiliar with the Yu-Gi-Oh! story, it centers around seven relics called the Millennium Items, that was used by the Pharaoh and his six priests in ancient Egypt. These Items were used to judge people and hold power over monsters from the shadow realm. War breaks out between the Pharaoh and his priests especially after he learns of the origin of the items, Their creation required the sacrifice of an entire village and years later the sole survivor of that village who returned home to find his people slaughtered gets taken over by a dark force and comes looking for revenge. To end the war the Pharaoh locked away the secrets of the Millennium Items and traps his own soul and memories within one of them to keep the secrets. Thousands of years later a boy puts the pieces of this item together and in so doing becomes a vessel for the spirit of this Pharaoh who must now find a way to remember his past in order to save the world from the shadow realm through a card game that mimics the ancient battles from his time. The boy and the Pharaoh share a bond of fate with one another and in a way the boys heart teaches the spirit to balance his strength with kindness, while the spirits strength teaches the boy how to find his own. That be the story of Yugi Mutou.

In the story Yugi’s fate is intertwined with the fate of many, but none so profoundly as it is with Seto Kaiba. In ancient times Seto was a priest under the Pharaoh, and they were friends, but Seto’s father had been one of the creators of the Millennium Items and he had designs for his son to become Pharaoh instead. A young girl with a powerful spirit monster attracts the attention of the priests particularly Seto’s father who wants to kill the girl to bind his son with this powerful monster. Seto comes to care for the girl, and stops at nothing to protect her, sparking a feud between he and his father about the same time as the Pharaoh is learning of the origin of the Millenium Items. Things go wrong……. But modern day Seto Kaiba doesn’t give a shit. All he knows is the burning need to be the best, protecting his little brother and an uncanny obsession with his favorite monster card The Blue Eyes White Dragon. The past, recent or historic means little to him. Faith means little to him as all he has known from a young age was how to fight for everything he and his little brother had after being orphaned. Friendship means little to him, because he doesn’t like depending on anyone else but himself, and doesn’t need the “Dead weight” of anyone but his little brother having to depend on him if they can’t stand on their own two feet like he has had to his whole life. An evil stepfather, a blind and driven ambition These make up the story of the most honorable if not biggest dick in the whole show.

Yugi is out to discover the secrets of his past in order to save the future, Kaiba doesn’t give a shit about Yugi’s fairy tale, he just wants to be the best and so sets the stage of a bitter but very interesting rivalry between the two. Because Seto Kaiba is not a villain exactly but a rival, his loss to Yugi was never a gurantee. They dueled all of 4 times in the run of the series and while Yugi took him twice, Kaiba did beat him in one of the duels and had it been a straight duel in the movie and his strategy been allowed to go through without interference, he would have beat Yugi a second time as Yugi had not yet drawn the card that allowed him to use the one Kaiba already played to beat Anubis.

So we have covered the basics of the story and a win, loss count, now lets stack these two characters up. The thing that seems to make any good rivalry is the polar opposite nature of the two groups or characters. In this case we have little Yugi Mutou and The Pharaoh. Now Yugi grew up in a very nurturing environment, His love for games and puzzles, as well as his moral center came from being cared for by his grandpa. He does not understand the darkness of the world but knows in his heart that it is something to stand against, he just has a hard time doing that until he is left with no choice, that is until he meets the spirit inside of the Millennium Puzzle and embarks on a quest to help him save the world from the Shadow Realm. He is fiercely loyal and loving and while he is a highly intelligent thinker, in many ways little Yugi has the heart of a child, you can hear it in his constant lines. ” I BELIEVE in my deck, I BELIEVE in the Heart of The Cards, I BELIEVE in my friends.” Yugi and the Pharaoh both rely on Faith to carry them through their quest to solve a 5000 year old mystery for the future of humanity. Enter the rival Seto Kaiba. Orphaned at a young age and shuffled around, his only family a little brother to look out for, Kaiba never actually had a childhood, he was in many ways forced to be the parental figure for his little brother after they lost their parents. While Yugi has his grandpa and all of his friends, Kaiba keeps his loyalties only to his little brother. Thrust into a situation where he had to be the one to build a life for himself and his brother, Kaiba fears the disappointment or the idea that he could fail his little brother if he has to put his trust in anyone else for their needs only to be let down.

The dynamics of their duels and how each character had profound impact on the life of the other is evident in the changes they would undergo as the story progressed. When we first meet Kaiba in the show, He is a world champion who has never been defeated, the anger in him which we do not learn the cause of until later when the story of his stepfather unfolds coupled with his loner attitude and the over inflated ego of an undefeated champion caused a darkness to build up in Seto. It was when Yugi handed him his first loss and the Pharaoh sent that darkness to the Shadow Realm, that Kaiba started opening his mind a little more and though still very much a dick, he did become more lighter natured. In the second duel between these two, it was Kaiba who returned the favor by beating Yugi. Kaiba on the verge of defeat, made one desperate attempt to take the match from his opponent, by risking his own life. Yugi could win, but he might have actually killed Kaiba in the process. It was viewed by all as a cowards move, until Yugi and his group discovered that like Yugi who was in Duelist Kingdom to save his grandfather, Kaiba was in fact there to save his little brother and so his willingness to risk it all was not unlike their own. The spirit of the Pharaoh was about to win the match, but little Yugi could not allow it. Now this loss had an equal impact on Yugi that his victory had on Kaiba. Until this point, Little Yugi was only aware that something changed when the spirit of the Pharaoh came out and took him over. A barrier had existed between the two that Kaiba’s gamble caused to break down. This would not only begin shaping the relationship between the Pharaoh and Yugi, it in fact allowed them to use the mind switch tactic that was the key to getting past the main villain Pegasus and the power of his Millennium Eye that let him see into the mind of his opponent and know what move they were about to make. The third duel would not take place until the finals of The Battle City Tournament. and by this time more was being revealed of the ancient past and how the two were connected to one another even in that time. When both played their respective Egyptian God cards, it further opened their minds to the secrets of their past, This would see Kaiba accepting his loss, but also his willingness to stand behind Yugi and even give him the card that could counter the Egyptian God card held by the evil Marik. Marik used the Millennium item that was once used by Kaiba’s past self Priest Seto and at one point it even called to Kaiba and allowed his willpower to alter the outcome of how one of his other duels was foreseen to go. Their final battle would be the Movie Pyramid of Light, and though Kaiba neither won nor lost, the Duel itself brought to an end the power of Anubis.  In the end, it was both Kaiba and Yugi who were responsible for the victory over the ancient evil spirit.

By the story’s completion the two characters had changed so drastically, Kaiba grudgingly felt the drive to get his own answers from the past, The understanding allowed him to reconcile with many of his present day issues. The pharaoh learned what he needed to, to finally bring an end to the Shadow Realm’s threat and little Yugi learned how to find his inner strength.  None of this had been possible without the rivalry between the two pushing them to become the better versions of themselves. Yugi, saved the world, Kaiba played the part of a friend aiding him in that quest without even meaning to. It was truly an example of friendship through rivalry and both actually won in the end.



Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions

Once more in a new movie released earlier this year the creator of the franchise went back to tell a new story with the original characters. This story takes place 6 months after the final duel between Yugi and the Pharaoh Atem. There are (Spoilers) ahead. The gang is graduating high school and talking about what their dreams of the future are. The only one that will possibly matter in terms of bringing everyone back for a new story is little Yugi who wants to stay and help his grandpa in his game shop and even develop his own game in the future. Little Yugi suffers from a bit of separation sickness, not really a physical ailment so much as a mental one, things had ended so suddenly when Atem had crossed over in his defeat. He and Yugi had literally been a part of each other for so long that Yugi constantly feels his absence and would have liked to have had one more chance to tell him what all he had done for him meant. Kaiba doesn’t really give a shit exactly what little Yugi’s reason is for wanting the pharaoh back, he has his own. Now a believer in fairy tales he recognizes that Yugi was never his rival, it was in fact the Pharaoh, only now he is faced with the fact that his rival is gone and he still feels this need to confront him one last time to decide once and for all who the best is.  Kaiba sets out to dig up the pieces of the Millennium Puzzle in the hopes of being able to bring Atem back for one last duel. NOTE the main villain of this film is a character named Aigame and his own tale intertwines with the Millennium Items, his master Shin who we learn is Shadii the ghostly keeper of 2 of the items, created a device that could create a new dimension, one of peace and he gave the power of this device to orphaned children that he was teaching the way of peace to. His idea was that once the prophesy was fulfilled and the pharoah returned to lock the power of the shadow games away forever, these children would be free to come forth and create a new dimension of light and peace for the world, but should the Pharaoh return beyond that they would lose their power. Aigame witnessed his master get murdered by a young Bakura in the first time that he was taken possession of by the evil spirit inside the Millennium Ring. The even traumatized Aigame who is now using the power of this device to send what believes are bad people to other dimensions. NOte the device becomes another major point. Bakura has been free of the Millennium Ring since the end of the first series. Unfortunately, the ring is found at the same time as the puzzle and it takes possession of one of Aigame’s brothers. In a duel to stop Kaiba from bringing the pharaoh back Aigame takes possession of two of it’s pieces, giving one to his sister who in turn gives it to Yugi in hopes that he can save her wayward brother. Kaiba captures Aigame and sets up a tournament. He want’s to beat both Aigame and Yugi to get the puzzle pieces back. Yugi instead convinces Kaiba to let him face Aigame since he is still holding Bakura in another dimension. Yugi wins and not only free Bakura but gains both pieces of the Millennium Puzzle. NOw what happens next is actually to my knowledge a first. The first time Kaiba actually faces Yugi in a duel. The match is back and forth and in many ways just as good as the ones with the Pharaoh. Down to the wire Yugi decides to show Kaiba why this duel is pointless, he completes The Millennium Puzzle and nothing happens. Yugi tells Kaiba that Atem isn’t in the puzzle anymore that he moved on and Kaiba would have to let him go, they both had to. At this point Aigame becomes possessed by the spirit of The MIllennium Ring which is now amplified by the power of the dimensional cube device Aigame possesses. He comes back as some weird ass cube looking monster and begins sending everyone into a dimension of darkness. Kaiba as I said, now a believer in fairy tales Instantly joins forces with Yugi, another first. At one point Kaiba makes the ultimate sacrifice and before phasing out into the dark dimension he tells Yugi that he did it for the Pharaoh so that Yugi could bring him back. Yugi never giving up the fight, though he is certain that Atem is gone take a couple more massive hits almost draining him completely of his life points and just as Yugi passes out from the damage he has taken in this new shadow game the arena is blasted with lights and from the one where Yugi fell Atem steps forward and swiftly kicks cube monsters ass with one card. After the duel everyone is coming back to the world who went missing as Atem’s return lifted the power from the children Shadii had taught.  He and Yugi face each other and without words say their last goodbye as Atem returns to the afterlife taking the Millennium Puzzle with him. Yugi tells his friends that he saw The Pharaoh and that he wished everyone well and Kaiba cuts in with I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so and Yugi agreed that Kaiba had been right. You have your bond with him and I have mine, he tells Yugi. The important thing to note here is that even though Kaiba had been dead set on battling Atem he actually treats Yugi like a friend or as close to one as Kaiba is willing to have. The final scene has Kaiba in some new shuttle like vehicle in his space station, we see that he had taken the dimensional device that Aigame had and was now testing this shuttle that we learn is a dimension traveling vehicle. He launches and disappears in ring of light, we then see him walking across the sands of ancient Egypt, entering the court of The Pharaoh, Kaiba stares him down and readies his duel disk. The Pharaoh stands up and looks at him and there the story ends. With what is likely the final duel between Kaiba and Atem being left to the viewers imagination. The point here is that Kaiba was so determined to duel Atem again that he found a way to break the dimensional barrier into the afterlife just to hunt him down.  Now we have seen both Yugi and Kaiba in the GX storyline that takes place ten years later and what we know of Kaiba at that point is that while he has lost none of his confidence in all that time, he is no longer the prick that he had previously been in the original series, so whatever the outcome of this duel against Atem it is safe to say that SOMETHING has happened in those ten years to give him a sense of peace. Another sign of the change in Seto Kaiba and how the friendship develops with Yugi came in the form of a single illustration posted by the creator of Kaiba and Yugi sitting at a table in the space station playing some strange new game. It’s explained that the picture is of a time of four years after The Dark Side of Dimensions Film and it is a picture of Yugi and Kaiba testing the new game that Yugi designed. So not only could this lead into a possible new movie later it is evident that Kaiba is helping Yugi fulfill his dream of creating a new game, so much for the dick of the original series. The Duel win/Loss count remains the same depending who you are a fan of… Of course I am a Kaiba person So I think he tied it up….I mean come on what he did was the equivalent of telling someone that if they died he was going to kill himself just to find them on the other side and kick their ass, and then actually took the steps to make good on it, that has got to give him some sort of edge in that duel. Heh heh

This is pulled directly from posts on my Writers page on Face Book. I figured that I have promoted all these stories that I have written in the same series with different genres yet I have not really explained the purpose behind this or how they fit together, until now. Oh and if you like what read on this and want to get updates that I don’t post here, swing by and give the page a like at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shayne-Workman-Big-Cat/715170738549742?ref=hl   Now on with the entry. 😀



Jordan Davis was a skeptic who thought he knew it all, but he is about to discover that something evil lurks in the dark corners of a realm he never believed in. Trapped in a place where nightmares and reality intertwine, Jordan must find his way back to the waking world before his family falls prey to a malevolent Trickster. This modern day horror fable full of twisted irony is sure to leave you wondering just what is hiding in that place beyond all dreams? Just as Jordan Davis finds that it isn’t what can’t be proven, but rather what can’t be dis-proven that can get you when you let your guard down.

The first published story in the Spirit Realm series was written with a few things in mind. First I wanted to introduce what would be a recurring creature in the series with style, by showing you just how much of a threat it could really be. The reason I chose self publication was because a publishing company would not generally put out something that is just too hard to promote because it has no genre that really defines it. I know that while this story was a horror story that some of the other stories that the trickster appears in would not be. I had no wish to get pigeon holed into the horror genre because of this one story. Take a classic like “The Lord of The Rings novels, because it was an epic adventure tale it could only hint and suggest just how terrifying the Nazgul was. Choosing this path allowed me to show a gruesome demonic presence in it’s prime element so that in the next story when you see a pack of them chasing a twelve year old boy even though that story does not go into the same graphic detail, readers familiar with this creature can still have an Oh Shit! moment and it allows me to add that horror element without having to go into the same graphic territory. Also nothing scares the Hell out of people like the unknown, But how can it be unknown when it is as in your face as it is written in this story? The answer to that is in the concept itself, skeptics can look at this story and say yeah that’s ridiculous, but can you really say that? When you think of all the surprise suicides and murders, and when you think about the fact that it is a concept that can not really be proven false, because if a person faces a situation like the one in the story and they snap out of it, well that was just the most realistic and frightening nightmare they ever had, but if they don’t………. Well take that in consideration the next time you hear of someone dying “peacefully” in their sleep. That is the real power of the horror element in this tale, it’s the What if factor.

It is available now on Amazon.com however when the next story is released, the novella “The Druids Son: A Historical Fable Of The Spirit Realm” on 5/5/15 I am hoping that I can get it formatted to fit the requirements for availability on Barnes and Noble, as well as Apples IStore for Ipads and such and when the day comes that I get my actual website up it will become available there as well.


The Journey To The River


When twelve year old Todd Grayson is left in grave condition after an accident, he finds himself trapped in a strange and dangerous world. Now Casey his Spirit Guide/Guardian must help him find a way to The Great River to continue the life cycle or lose him to the evil forces that lurk below the surface of the waking world.

Bonus story: Last Night On Earth – A young man acts on a plan to commit suicide in the middle of a secluded forest, only to find there is more to this world than he realized.

Some of you may remember “Last Night On Earth” as the one post story that I put on this page, way back in October of last year. I wrote that while I was laying out “The Journey to The River: An Adventure Fable Of The Spirit Realm” and so I was already laying the groundwork for some of the concepts that were introduced with “Journey” The Great River and it’s function is mentioned to the protagonist Kevin by the Elves who we later are recognized as Nature Spirits or Spirits that have a direct link with the Spirit Realm, but were in fact created by the life energy of the Earth itself. Again huge LOTR fan, I love Elves and I really wanted them for the Spirit Realm series. My Elves are very similar to Tolkiens Elves in a lot of ways. They too, left the world of man when humans in their fear and ignorance began viewing them as oppressive overlords when they in fact were only trying to help us develop, and so they, like Tolkiens Elves harbor a sadness for the break in that connection. In the modern world they get very few human visitors and so they cherish every connection they acquire. We find they even planted the seeds of belief in them through the fictional tales we read and hear in hopes that one day people would come to believe in them again and accept them back. They are real good at planting seeds in peoples minds and in both “Last Night” and “Journey” we see how they use this to aid people, they are themselves lost in a way and so they view themselves as keepers of that which is lost.

“The Journey To The River:An Adventure Fable Of The Spirit Realm” was written with a question many of us have asked in mind. What about people whose bodies are being kept alive through machines in hospitals, I can think of few things that really make people wonder about the existence of the soul more so than this concept. Are they just meat? Is anything left of who they were? And if there is anything is it trapped or has it already moved on? The fact that the Protagonist is a child was not only meant to make exploring this concept a little more poignant, it also played better with how the relationship between Todd and his spirit guide Casey develops. It really is sort of a buddy adventure tale set against the back drop of a tragic situation. The Tricksters return to the series again as the main threat, but like I said before if you read the HORROR story that featured the being, then it added to the fright factor they represented without me having to go into the same graphic detail in a story that it really would not have fit that well. I have said that Stephen Kings Dark Tower series has been a huge inspiration to the Spirit Realm stories and it’s influence really is shown more in how I am tying all of these stories together in one world, I can have the “Adventure” story that happens to have creatures from my “Horror” stories and to me that builds a depth to this world I am writing and makes it more tangible, more real. It’s a world where Horrifying shit wanders about, but so does good things, things that care and are helpful, Bad shit happens to good people, but even though it does, there is a sense of a grand scheme to things and even the worst situation can open a persons eyes to understanding and hope. Some people are lucky, some people shit out of luck and often times whether any of us realize it or not our own choices do tend to play a factor maybe even more so than spiritual influence most of the time. We have free will for a reason.

“The Journey To The River: An Adventure Fable Of The Spirit Realm” is available now on Amazon.com. Like “The Trickster: A Horror Fable Of The Spirit Realm” it too is currently in the process of making sure the formatting is suitable to be able to have it offered on other sites as well.








When the Druid Cathasach and Lady Adaryn are summoned to aid a small village, they fall prey to the fear and ambition of a local councilman. Wrongfully accused of murder, Lady Adaryn must flee from the villagers with Cathasachs help. Now the Orders to which they belong, having to choose between exciting the growing misgivings the common folk have towards their kind or hunt their own, have sent agents to help find them. The two find comfort in a forbidden union to one another as they stand against the hatred of the people and the wrath of their own, but they are not alone, for the goddess Nantosuelta and her mate Sucellus have set the stage to ensure the continued existence of the magic users in a world that would seek to wipe them out and humanities connection to the Spirit Realm with them.

“The Druids Son: A Historical Fable Of The Spirit Realm” marks the arrival of many firsts in the series. It is the longest of all the stories to date breaching short story length into novella territory. It also introduces, for the first time ever, the human magic users of old and many new types of Nature Spirits to join the Elves. The first time that the primary threat to the main characters are not spirits or demons at all but rather humans. The first time we meet one of the old gods and the birth of the Twin Flames. The Twin Flame in the Spirit Realm series is the combination of Spirit Guide and Soul that are born at the same time, The Spirit Guide keeps watch over the soul throughout however many lifetimes until the incarnation of that soul is born that makes contact with the spirit guide and from there the connection between the two sparks the flame within both and together they start unlocking their full potential. This is what you know, now for the behind the scenes stuff that most of you are not aware of. In August of last year I was facing a trial for a bulllshit felony charge, having already dealt with divorce and homelessness while in the process of most of the legal proceedings I was on the verge of folding. It was during this time that I started reflecting more and more on my life up to that point and as a way of dealing with it I started writing a story in chapters. It was a story that incorporated many actual events from my life, about me and my spirit guide the Raven Natasha. This story was like self help to put things from my life into perspective, but this story became the basis for the entire Spirit Realm series and the base line for the full length novel to be released on 11/30/15 now titled “The Tale Of The Twin Flames: My Experiences In The Spirit Realm” I went from being someone who squandered most of their time to someone who actually finishes what they start. In truth the closer I get to putting all of it behind me I started feeling compelled to go back to the story, but I did not want to just do a short story that would come after or have to be thrown in the middle of the novel so using another source of inspiration Yu-Gi-Oh! Yeah I’m a geek through and through, I’m also an asshole and as such I am a huge Seto Kaiba fan. The story line from the shows final season Dawn Of The Duel where Kaiba learns about his former life as an Egyptian Priest and how his connection to his trademark Blue Eyes White Dragon began, spawned the idea of giving “The Tale Of The Twin Flames” a historical beginning. No I am not saying I was a Druid in my first life, I do have a lot of Celtic heritage in my family , particularly on my mothers side and I got the idea to set the story around 500 B.C. in the British Isles. and like I said it covers the BIRTH of the twin flames. I will say no more than that so as not to spoil the whole damn story, just give you an idea that it really is more of a love story than anything and if you read the opening that I put up on my blog as a preview and wondered if it was a coincidence that the Druid Cathasachs Spirit Guide, Nuallan is a blue eyed dragon, it isn’t. I like to pay my respects and give little nods of gratitude to the things that keep the gears in my own head turning to keep coming up with these stories. If this tale has a moral it is simply what love must endure for the sake of keeping those connections we cherish from slipping from us, set in the back drop of the question, is it more important to be Religious and rigidly set in your ways or Spiritual and more open to changes for the sake of adapting as the world around you becomes something you no longer recognize.

“The Druids Son: A Historical Fable Of The Spirit Realm” Will be Available on multiple sites for multiple devices on May Day 5/5/15


In this time of self reflection I have come to realize that, that which seems to be my greatest strength can also be a weakness. Ever since I was young I have always been the type to figure shit out, I once tinkered with the remote for the cable box until I found the code my father used to unlock the Playboy channel, I was seven years old at the time. I can’t seem to turn it off, always I am looking for the answer, the solution to whatever I am doing or going through. As a kid I became obsessed with puzzles for this very reason and as you no doubt realize by now I am a Yu-Gi-Oh! fan for that very same reason, it’s all tactical and stackable and the mechanics provide a chance to find that MOST EFFICIENT COMBINATION. I’ve always been good at it. Always was the type to see first what is wrong with a situation because then the process of finding what works can begin. I see things in a different light than most, I think completely outside of the box in many cases. I also have a tendency to over analyze shit because of this part of my nature and how my brain works. Solitude for me can be a double edge sword, it gives me space to figure shit out, but can also give me too much space to carry a thought into the opposite end of the spectrum.

I know now balance is key and ironically the very thing that is causing my problem is also the path to fix what is wrong. I have to devise a way to see the Rubicon BEFORE I reach that motherfucker. Give myself completely to EMOTION, I get blinded, on all fronts, anger, sadness, love, and confusion takes hold giving way to missing steps that I would otherwise take if I were thinking more clearly. Give myself completely to LOGIC and I disassociate too much to connect with anyone or anything on any kind of sympathetic or empathetic level. Give myself to FAITH and I lose the sense of responsibility needed to make adjustment to situations, and fuck up things that I might have otherwise been able to effect the outcome of. All of the above equals one clusterfuck of a mess, that sets me back, eating time I don’t have, causing problems where there should be none, or simply NOT CARING ENOUGH TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANY OF THE A FORE MENTIONED OUTCOMES.


Acceptance of truth. At the moment I really have nothing to offer anyone, as much as I would like to. That makes me useless. I need to COMPLETELY COME BACK from my ordeal and I must let that NEED guide my emotion to fuel the Puzzle Solving qualities and gear them towards achieving the GOAL of becoming USEFUL. Let the FAITH be all about knowing within that I can and will achieve this GOAL. My path is clear now, all that remains is to practice this level of self control until it becomes my instinctual response. Then and only then will I truly be capable of fulfilling the limits of my considerable potential. This is where I am NOW on my journey in the AFTERMATH of my crucible, I give this to you for the same reason I have been giving all of it, knowledge. If I fall you will know exactly WHY, if I rise you will know exactly HOW. – Love BIG CAT

We now move into April of 2014, where we start to see a marked change, the edge starts coming back, at first it is just a matter of propelling myself forward, all I did was work in those days, day and night. It caused a resurgence of confidence, for the first time since I first left my ex wife in August of 2013 , you know before the control freak bitch sought to send Johnny Law Dog after my ass, I felt the strength needed to move forward. Yeah I got a little cocky, 😀 but it was a veneer for the most part as I was starting to figure out the closer it came to my next court date on the 25th, returning to the valley from sanctuary caused all sorts of bad shit to snap back at me and made me realize that it was the environment that had been doing me the most good.


April 1st

New ghetto proverb: Don’t have the problem with what I relate to, have the problem with what makes me relate to it. < ( You will be seeing these until September there are ten of them, and they make up the foundation of a little thing I called the unspoken ethic. 😀 sound familiar? )


April 2nd

So I just spent the last 4 hours of my life trying to figure out how I broke my phone, whether or not a storm was coming or a tower on the fizz. And then I found it, that little check mark in my settings, that allows me to turn my 3G network off and on.

feeling like a dumb ass. < (So….I was a day late playing my April Fools Day prank on myself.)


TH: It’s ok Shayne. I noticed my phone was roaming and it was doing it for hours. I thought Ntelos was down. I had to enable my wifi for Facebook etc. after I read this I thought hmmm and went into my settings. There was no check mark for 3G but on of the kids apparently turn on the roaming feature. After I turned it off my phone had 4 bars without roaming.

TH:  So… Thank you for your helpful post


April 3rd

When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off? ( knock, knock, knock) Theodora tell em baby. “Meow dad’s lost it.” < ( There would much more of Shady before all was said and done, Hell there still is, but my real reason for adding this one was for the comments as RN was the legal go between during my divorce, he was appointed BY my ex wife to be such. Now the divorce was already over but my ex kept dangling my shit that I had to leave behind in front of my face, I knew it was just to piss me off, that I was never getting it back, but the important factor here will reveal itself in May when the bitch got a DVP or Domestic Violence Petition for putting in Job applications and setting up a bank account. Alas I jump ahead.)


RN: What’s up brother?

Shayne: I’ve been around my brother enough that I am starting to develop his habit of saying stupid random shit while I work and today there was no one to listen to it so I word vomited here. 😀

RN: And it happens. Not harm done then. Just was concerned brother- you’ve been doing to good to throw it all away. Was asked if you wanted your stuff? Anything still over there that you want?

Shayne: It matters not I still have no where for it. Wouldn’t want to go back for it anyway, and I would have to because I would have to,,spelunk for it myself.

RN: You wouldn’t go alone brother. That I can promise you. lol

Shayne: Nah Fuck It, she has earned the honorary bon fire rite. I got the clean slate for reinvention.

RN: Think about this before deciding. I’ve started over from scratch or less many times- there might be a few personal things? Let me know by Monday? Ok?

By the way, no I have not lost my mind. I am at my second job today, which is to say I’m working on MY shit between that and getting my old clunker fit for the road. Here is part of what I have been doing whilst fucking with everyone here. 😀



April 4th

Yeah having an extra body part does not automatically mean that as a guy, it is my sole intent to keep you from being the effulgent ray of light you are, or that I don’t actually use the one on my shoulders to do my thinking with, but every time that assumption is made is another reason for me to scream FUCKING BITCH!! If you claim it’s wrong. IF you claim things should be different. Then watch what you spread, but most especially watch who you spread it to. < ( After my whole ordeal, I had a whole new beef with the psycho feminist fringe to say the least.)


April 5th

Patients that’s what I keep telling myself. Right now things are improving, but there is definite frustrations starting to brew from the fact that my limitations don’t present a good enough scenario for moving foward as fast or as well as I could if I were on my own. I have caught myself thinking too much on an end game while my focus now is more needed on figuring out how to weave through all the shit still holding me back to get to that end game. But how do I do it?……How do I do it?


TH: Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time to literally “build a new life” from scratch. Even more time if you wanna do it right. Hang in there. You got this.

RN:  Well first you forget the endgame crap- that means you’re still living in past with revenge on your mind. LET IT ALL GO- or it will derail you. Live for Today and plan for Tomorrow. Yesterday’s only takeaway your focus

Shayne: End game is just referring to the goal. That goal is to make my business ventures stackable. I’ve had to experiment a little bit to find what can easily work together so that wherever I go I can handle everything with more ease, make my own damn income as something more than someone else’s grunt. The acting bit will help but also gives me an excuse to travel which provides a means for direct expansion of everything else I do. The frustration is leveled at the fact that although I have a vehicle now, all it can do is sit until I find what’s making the engine miss, fix a bent back rim and replace the windshield. Until that time I am still limited in SELF mobility which is slowing progress. I actually have something besides daring to defy physics standing against a freight train like I did in February when I suddenly dropped 100 + people out of my life, in sight. That little faith trip I took was more a matter of trying to outsmart my nature, it was obvious to most. The trick was on me I actually did get shocked out of that downwards spiral. Imagine going to a court appointed psych eval prior to that little piece of perfect timing and having to try to convince a dogmatically narrow minded “Professional ” that it’s taking everything you have just to survive without ” oooooo scaring them. ” My situation has forced another part of my past to resurface, one I have spoken to very few about in any real detail, one that predates my ex wife. You might call it my first bane, it involves family and apparently I still have one more thing to work in reverse in order to move forward. I’m still at war, and wielding a pillow against a mace is not the smartest strategy. There may be some magical kingdom on the other side that is all love peace and happiness, where everyone gets along and no one fucks anyone over. It’s not this one. Here you fight to take your first steps to become a toddler, you fight to overcome bad habits, you fight your own damn feelings when dealing with assholes who will always try to make you feel less than them because its all they fucking have. Here the spirit can be still but that doesn’t make peace any less of a lie in a world where our crude ape forms have to struggle to overcome, only passion and the will to do so can carry you here. I can hate this world or I can pick my battles. I will always feel towards stupidity and wastes of space the way you do about dishonesty and liars. I will always state those feelings cause fuck em for making shit harder, that’s me, Hell why do you I spent so long hating myself for who I was. I became a hypocrite to everything I stood for and got addicted to the misery of it all and I called it Love, when it wasn’t. If I seem aggressive it’s because I don’t want to lose my new found momentum and slip back into a place where giving up looks like peace. It’s because I’m alive and for the first time in a monumentally long time, I’m hungry for something again and I know I can and will make it happen until that time it’s just another showdown of a different sort and until I reach what I’m aiming for I will stay at least partially in fight mode nothing is going to keep me from what I want, what I have to show people, not this time.

RN: First concept- fight mode? That must be the “warriors impeccability” you’re referring to; a true warrior never loses focus or allows their emotions to run anything within them. If anyone can make you happy sad mad or glad- they CAN control you. A warrior won’t indulge any of that when preparing or doing combat. This is another re

RN: Reason that the pipe was a integral part of their life. Our smoke calms the mind and relaxes the tension w/o intoxicating.
As far as the players , gamers, liars, two faces, etc- they can only harm you if you let them in. Realize what they’re about before you open your heart or personal life to them. They don’t matter unless you let them.

RN: My native name: Nupawarlanka means- Speaks Mind Twice As Strong. I speak the truth or what’s in my heart and that is all I speak unless joking. I respect and expect the same from all others that want to be”friends”; doesn’t mean they will do that or can be- but they don’t get in any farther until I know. Creator gave 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth- and that’s how you start sorting ppl out. Watch and Listen before you speak much of heart to them.
There never was or never will be a perfect magic kingdom as long as there are ppl in it. It’s not all the ppl but just as small percentage that make this world bad if you want to call it that. But as long as you only see the negative and feel the negative- that’s all you will attract. Point is- you must first learn to like yourself and respect yourself before anyone else will. Peace and Serenity come when insecurities and Ego’s are realized for what they are. Your Ego is your BEST FRIEND in a SURVIVAL situation; but getting it caged and not running your mind is a big step in finding spirituality. If you’re looking a life like it is a competition that’s what it will always be. If you look at it as a Learning journey you start to realize all things happen for a reason and all troubles or bad luck is a learning, growing experience and nothing but. It’s not personal- it’s knowledge you must learn to progress farther. Most don’t learn some lessons first time so they keep repeating the same mistake over and over again. PAY ATTENTION! lol
When I have problems come my way- I stop and try to give thanks for the knowledge I’m about to receive, then I ask Creator to guide me and help me to understand- and he always does; but I have to be watching for the signs and not wrapped up in my emotions. Emotions are mind fog and keep anyone from seeing clearly. I have lots of emotions and use them everytime they are warranted- but negatives aren’t indulged and followed very far. We are only human and not perfect; so this path stretches on and on- but we can speed up how long it takes us to reach our goals by not wasting time or energy on the negativity and bullshit.

RN: How about being thankful that you have a vehicle and plan what to fix as you can- with the vehicle and your path that you must take to reach your goals.
Personally I think you are doing very well and progressing nicely- but when I care; I really care
and tend to council those I care about. I desire to help others keep their focus, realize their self-worth and see their potential and downfalls. Ain’t love a bitch brother 


April 7th

Remember when I said; if I fall you will know why and if I rise you will know how? In the coming days you will have the opportunity to see for yourself, the guide lines I have started adhering to in order to regain a personal code and sense of identity. It is called The Unspoken Ethic and it is going through the last stages of development as we speak. It is part of a strategy to build Something of real benefit to everyone, but as such is going to have to gradually build while I proceed with other steps to further secure the ground I stand on.



😀 Like I said, I got a a little piss and vinegar going in my efforts, Oh and if you like the exchanges between RN: and I They get sooooo much better the further into the year it goes, after I got hit and left for dead I HAD to rely on my anger to survive. It created some heated and often wonderful philosophical duels, I still take much of what the man told me to heart like I said, there were those who stood with me from the start of the shit and are still with me now, I’m glad, this blog is at least proving I wasn’t half as crazy as I appeared to be at the time, that I was actually laying it out as it happened to me to tell the tale. And Now I am giving that Tale to you my readers. The later part of April will be next.