Coming on 11/30/15 Cyber Monday of next year My full length novel “The Tale Of The Twin Flames: My Experiences In The Spirit Realm” gets released to the public. I figure, fuck it why wait for some of the good stuff. 😀 So here one year in advance is your SPECIAL EXTENDED PREVIEW. don’t forget that the second short story in “The Spirit Realm Series” “The Journey To The River: An Adventure Fable Of The Spirit Realm” Is also set for release on 1/31/15 and of course since it’s Cyber Monday guys, at least for a few more hours “The Trickster: A Horror Fable Of The Spirit Realm” is ALREADY AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM. I think I have held you all up long enough now get ready for a bit of a Love Story, with fangs and feathers, as The Raven Spirit Guide Natasha, reconnects for the first time in over eight years with her giant black tiger, BIG CAT.
“The Tale Of The Twin Flames: My Experiences In The Spirit Realm”
By Shayne Workman
He fell out of all existence. Into the void his mind and soul plunged, exhausted beyond measure. She came to rest on his chest, patiently waiting. The voice crept into his thoughts, through the numbness. “Open your eyes.” She said. A heavy sigh he heaved before replying. “Fuck that, I’m tired. I haven’t slept in fucking days, I have gone endlessly for miles in the Dark wood and frankly my fire is about spent.” She heaved her own sigh. “Not while you live.” He laughed. “Who the Hell said I was still alive? Even now I dream in blackness.” Softly she spoke now. “The blackness is the veil, you don’t get it. You have been in the dream. Your mind has gone too far. This time, you must finish the dream before you can wake up.”
She flapped her wings, the tips of her black feathers brushing his cheeks. He was vaguely aware, oddly feeling the wind from her fanning rather than the soft brushing. Something inside him stirred, burning from within, getting hotter as though the flapping of her wings were breathing new life into his broken body’s resolve. Again the voice broke through in his mind. “Come on, you do not realize how close you are. Your destination lies just beyond those hills you now lay at the foot of.” He groaned as his eyes slowly opened and met hers as she stared down at him. “Goddamn it Natasha, can’t let a motherfucker rest for a minute can you?” Her laughter echoed in his mind as she flew off and lighted on a stump a few feet away. Slowly, he sat up and turned his head in her direction. “Just over these hills you say?” The voice in his head took on a playful quality. “Uh huh.” He got to his feet. “You better not be full of shit sister.”
He threw his bags to the ground and dropped to his knees, then took a second to regain his composure. After the steep climb of the first hill, two things caught his attention. The first was an old wooden sign with faded red lettering that he could just make out as: They who laugh last….. The second thing he noticed was his inability to see how much further he had to go for the mist that lay across the following hills. Frustrated as all Hell he yelled. “NATASHA, WHAT THE FUCK?” She glided in and landed on his shoulder. Her head tilted slightly as she took in the sights. “To which thing are you referring?” She asked. “Just over these hills, that’s what you told me, they might go on for fucking ever as far as I can tell.” He explained, clearly exasperated. “Oh that. That is the fog of war you see. I told you that your destination lay beyond these hills and it does. I never said it would be an easy trip.” He just sat there, mouth agape like an idiot, finally he managed a slight shaking of his head in a resoundingly negative fashion. It had been his demeanor for some time now, even before the long journey he had been traveling in both worlds these last few months. “Son of a bitch.” He said.
She took off and circled once behind him to give him a moment, she then continued with her explanation. “No one can see past what they fear. From where you sit, your struggles may be merely days from finally ending, or it may go on for years, leaving a scar that will never heal. Because you do not truly know, you cannot see from here, how much further you really have.”
He stood up and turned around, about to tell her what he really thought of her, his “destination”, this Goddamn road which had repeatedly almost been the death of him. Caught off his guard by the beautiful sight before him, he was shocked out of his anger almost immediately. “Holy shit, you almost gave me a heart attack. Heh it’s been…..Hell it’s been years since I saw you.” He said. She stood before him, smiling.
She was exactly as he had remembered her. Always the sense of ancient wisdom made her seem much older, but even now as before, she could easily pass as being in her late 20’s. The simple garb she wore was light colored, in contrast with her dark yet creamy olive complexion, her long black hair, that he had always loved still hung in spiral curls, her face was soft, yet stern, when not smiling or speaking her jaw always appeared set and determined. But it was her piercing eyes, deep gold rimmed irises with dotted pupils that always grabbed him. He remembered always feeling like he could lost in the depth he saw there. The exotic beauty in the fact that they were inhuman in appearance also added to the intensity she could emit through them, which at times made them as terrifying as they were gorgeous. No matter if she came to him as the raven as she most often did, or the woman who stood before him now, her eyes were the one feature that never changed. He stared at her beauty that he had not seen in thirteen years. Beauty that in itself could stop him dead in his tracks, but there was something else to it. He remembered that of the fewer times he had seen her in human form than not, it always preceded major lessons in his life. “You could quit now, but you will have wasted all you suffered for to get here. What do you say, hear me out?” She said, still smiling her warm lighthearted smile that stood in stark contrast with his total frame of mind. He was reminded of something else just then, something that he always had trouble adjusting to. In human form, her voice was no longer in his head, but he could hear it with his ears. He stared at her for another minute.”……I’m hungry, I’m going to fix me something to eat.” He said.
He stared through the fire to the impenetrable mist beyond. A little ways away Natasha sat quietly watching the path behind, such was it always between them. The forward, the future that was his to watch for the coming storms, while she watched behind for any dangers that may still be lurking. She always had his back. He turned to look at her. Eighteen years had passed since the first time he saw her in human form. And I look and feel very much like I have had the ever living shit kicked out of me, while she had not changed a bit. They truly were amazing, the level of beings she belonged to. He thought to himself. Reading his thoughts she peered over her shoulder at him a halfcocked smile on her face. Through it all, even all the time since he had let his mind fall from the ability to reach her, she stayed waiting for him to be able to reconnect. “I love you.” He said, without thought or hesitation. Her smile broadened as she came to sit with him by the fire. She put her arm around him and lay her head on his shoulder.
He remembered the first time he finally met the spirit behind the presence he had felt from time to time throughout his life. He had been experimenting with various forms of meditation, a way to draw his mind from the darkness that was eating him alive. This particular form was called astral projection by some. He was lying in bed, aware that he could see everything even though his eyes were closed. He opened them and saw no change in the room from what he saw with his eyes closed. She landed at the foot of the bed, even in the dark he could see it was a raven. He watched as she bounced into the floor and vanished, then he felt the hand on his shoulder that startled him. “Shhh, easy now, you don’t have to be afraid of me.” She had said. He looked over to see her sitting beside his bed. This did nothing to calm him down, until their eyes met and he saw something almost familiar there. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. “I have been waiting to hear your call, I am here to help you.” Finally at ease with the surreal situation he asked. “Who are you?” She smiled as she leaned back. “You may call me Natasha.”
“You made me proud that night.” She said, jarring him back to the present. She raised her head and their eyes met once more. “So many of us watch over our people, their entire lives and never make the connection that you and I have. You dared to take a step that few do, in the interest of becoming more than your world was trying to dictate you become.” Suddenly feeling the full weight of all he had endured, what he still faced, hot tears started streaming down his cheeks. “I failed.” She placed her hand on his face gently wiping away the tears. Drawing herself up she kissed him on the forehead and embraced his shuddering frame. “Not yet.” She whispered lovingly in his ear.
He had pulled himself back together and they now lay cheek to cheek, each using the others shoulder as a pillow staring up at the stars overhead. The fire was ebbing, but they could still feel the heat coming from it, or at least he thought she might. He honestly didn’t know if she felt things the same way a person might. “I’m aware of it, if that’s what you mean. It is a form of energy after all.” She responded to his thought, this made him laugh. “But you can’t seem to tell the difference between a thought and a spoken word. Is that just the oversight of the all-knowing, or are you trying to show me that there is nowhere for me to hide from you even in my own head?” Without taking any offense, she smiled and said. “Maybe I just like the way it feels to be this connected to you. It has been so long.” Ouch, he thought, that one came back to bite him on the ass. “You know people think I’m crazy when I mention you. They think you’re just a figment of my imagination.” She reached up and started running her fingers through his hair. “What does your heart tell you?” He chuckled as he started winding his finger through one of her curls. “Considering this “figment of my imagination” has done more for me than anyone who would call me crazy, it tells me not to give two shits what they think. That’s just egotistical fucks thinking they know what’s best for someone they’ve never understood in the first fucking place.” She started laughing. “I think your father knows better than to doubt me.” He started laughing with her.
It was the summer of 1997, the year he had graduated. He was already working full time with his father in construction and was getting ready to start two other jobs as a janitor. Needless to say he had money and was smart in how he worked it. Smarter than his father who had a gambling problem anyway. He and his father were in his fathers’ bedroom holding a basic conversation about work. He could not remember the conversation in its entirety, but he could remember the phrase: “You couldn’t take care of yourself anyway…..” It wasn’t the words themselves. Though he could see how those words could invoke the sheer hatred in and of themselves, especially in someone who bank rolled the paying of bills multiple times. It was the tone that set the fire within him ablaze. He decided those words spoken in sarcasm were forgivable, but it was the nonchalant way they were said. As if his ultimate failure were a matter of fact, that bypassed his defenses and cut straight through to his……last fucking nerve. He would go on to meet only one other that could manage to pull that off……and of course, he would marry that one. Disgust took hold first, followed by indignance, anger and then…. Before the chain could reach hatred. Before his father was even half way through his next sentence. Across the room a red nose lit up and Christmas music started playing. It was a stuffed reindeer that belonged to his step mother making the racket. His father stopped dead and turned to stare at the strange phenomenon of the stuffed animal that was activated without its button being pushed. “Now how in the Hell?” His father got up and walked over to the toy. “I’ll fix this weird shit.” He said as he went to remove the batteries, only to find that there were none in it. He dropped it back where it had been and took a step back. “Do you see this shit?” His father asked. Needless to say, this time his tone was anything but nonchalant, as was the look on his face. Only two people in his life ever had the power to instantly piss him off, only one has ever truly had the power to instantly undo that damage. Plushy Rudolph spent the remainder of his days in that house buried in the back of a closet.
They continued to laugh at the memory. “He was set to burn that fucking stuffed toy.” She nestled even closer. “See? We have fun together when we are a team. Haven’t you missed that?” He sighed. That had not been the only time his father got it and his father was far from the only one. One thing about it, as long as she was around there was Hell to pay for anyone who even tried to knock him back.” You told me you never left. How did I end up in the position that I did?” Asked a straight question she gives it a straight answer. “By your own choice, there is little I can do against that. Especially after you had given up so much control over your life and who you are, to the point that you could no longer hear me.” He thought about that and realized that she was right. Even before his wife had decided that it meant she no longer had to play nice, it was when he himself put all the cards in her hands that he had lost that connection. They lay quietly for a while as he pondered, knowing full well that his thoughts were monitored. What if…. “Yes, I did.” She said flatly. “That’s how it works, I’m not just a guardian, I’m a guide as well.” He sprang up suddenly pissed off to no end. “YOU PREACH TO ME ABOUT HOW I GAVE UP CONTROL OF MY LIFE TO SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU ARE PULLING STRINGS BEHIND THE CURTAIN. WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU ANY BETTER? YOU HELPED CAU……” He knew by the hard look he was getting that she knew what he was about to say and she, like him, though deep down in his case knew it was bullshit. Her look softened only slightly. “I wanted my champion back.” He thought back on what she said earlier “By your own choice, there is little I can do against that.” He thought of all the times in these past years that he would just stare at himself in the mirror trying to recognize who the fuck he was even looking at. She knew, even when he didn’t, that buried underneath it all he wanted her to have her champion back too. Why was he fighting it? Even when he first noticed her again the connection was weak, he got so frustrated trying to follow what he couldn’t pick up. His whole attitude towards her had changed. This was the first real time they had reconnected since his fall. How did she feel? He thought back again to her reaction when he told her he loved her. To the other things she had said. “Many of us watch over our people their entire lives and never make the connection that you and I have.” “Maybe I just like the way it feels to be this connected to you. It has been so long.” God, she’s as lonely in this world as I am, for all her wisdom and hidden power, she still felt, still wanted, like all living things. He thought. “It did hurt, bad, when the connection got severed, I missed you.” She said. Her voice never shook, but she started to cry. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t be more blind anyway he thought. How could he do that to her, after everything she had given him. “I’m sorry.” He said as he walked over to her. This time it was his turn to gently wipe away her tears and hold her, she gladly accepted.
They sat together in silence for a while, just taking a moment away from everything, the path behind them, ahead of them, the intensity of the emotions forged in their first real successful reconnection. They were content in that silence to simply be glad to have each other again. His eyes fell on the old wooden sign for the first time since the moment they arrived. Something about it troubled him. For starters, what was it doing here anyway? This was a fucking hilltop with no roads in the middle of nowhere. Second “They who laugh last….” Either reason was weird enough in and of themselves, together they were straight up fucking creepy. “It’s like something out of a damn Stephen King novel.” He said, finally breaking the silence. “It scares you.” Natasha said. It wasn’t a question and he could tell by her tone, that they were finally getting to the real reason she had brought him to this place.” Which part?” She looked through him with those fierce eyes. “The whole concept. It is what you have feared your whole life and that fear is made worse now by the fact that you stand as close to that fear becoming a reality as you ever have.” Suddenly feeling very uneasy, he got up and walked over to the sign. “This is the end of me, I fight because not doing so would be a matter of going out even worse. I don’t want to fight anymore, it never meant anything. This world was too far gone before I was even brought into it. They can have it, all of it, I just wanted to be left the fuck alone but that’s not good enough for some….” He was babbling, even he knew it before she interrupted the flow. “Shut up and listen to the one who always told you the truth. Instead of standing there reaffirming everything the weak have pushed on your mind in order to drive out the strength they could not bear to look upon.” Her tone was harsh, but then returned to normal when she said. “Or what you fear most will become a reality.” She stood up and walked over to him. “The person you were, he is not dead yet, or I could not be here with you as I am now.” She took his face in her hands and stared into his soul with her powerful gaze. Softly now she spoke to him. “I love you too, now hear my story and remember who you are.” Her thumbs met just above his brow, between his eyes. “REMEMBER” She did not yell, but it seemed as though her voice was everywhere all around him, blocking out all else.