I know I seem mean at times. Some challenges I am just NOT READY FOR. I have said it, time and again, but I guess unless you have been me and been in my position, it’s a Hell of a lot harder to understand what I mean when I say. There is NO EXAGGERATION when I state, that accomplishing what I have in the face of what I was up against took damn near EVERYTHING I had left. I was sure of myself, I didn’t leave any room in time or thought TO DOUBT, I just acted and pushed forward. Then I found myself in a situation where nothing would be confirmed, no answers gained, and I CAN NOT stress the damage that has been doing to EVERYTHING I have fought to regain. I don’t want to be mean, don’t want to NOT CARE, but until I can get REAL CONFIRMATION, I am going forward like I had a momentary lapse of wishful thinking and continue with what I ORIGINALLY HAD PLANNED. If I don’t, if I let it get to me any more than I already have. Everything will be undone and I wouldn’t be worth a shit to MYSELF much less anyone else and that’s just POINTLESS.