I didn’t say SORRY, whatever else I should have led with that, you didn’t handle it the best either, but I went dark side on you. I didn’t know what to think, you would be fine, then go distant, then lay into my ass for TRYING, I’d get pissed and then you went back to watching me. It didn’t make sense to me, but now it does. I can’t unknow what I know, hence my reason for doing this and getting the help that I have with this, you have my sister to thank, you know. I was too damaged, still in fight mode, to see anything clearly enough to figure it out on my own. In truth it goes back to another thing I said. Hate is more viable option than wishing things had been different, because it’s more tangible, you KNOW how something effected you, you don’t know for sure how it would have been otherwise. I took it way too far, but I just didn’t know what you were wanting from me and after this year, it was hard to accept FAILURE, I really have thought the world of you. That IS why I tried to be there for you even before I knew I was drawing you in. I OWE you, the freedom, I have now I would not have were it not for you. So here is day 4 and I am turning the tables on dear older sister this time for the embarrassing shit. 😀 – Love BIG CAT
My sister age 8, me 5 1/2 months with that look that says “How fucking dare you dress me in plaid for this?” In true Stewie fashion.
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