All posts tagged acceptance

Hey It’s been, I don’t know, a week or two since I last posted? Want to look at that post that includes petitions regarding Children’s Healthcare click here BURN IT DOWN! An All Out Assault Against Society Weakening Ideology. Before I get into today’s topic I’m going to need you to do something. I need you to believe in something that more and more these days seems IMPOSSIBLE. Can you do that? 😀 Good. You ever have those moments when you feel the need to ask yourself what would John Quinones do? For those who don’t know who this is, he is a journalist who did a show called “What Would You Do?” It was the perfect mixture of prank show and genuine social experimentation. Actors were hired to go out in public and create scenes, depicting acts ranging from race bashing, to abuse scenarios. They even had someone go out twice both as how they really are and in a fat suit with kick ass make up to see how people reacted differently between the model and the fat person. I mean you name it they were running a scenario for it and sometimes doing the same one in different places. Noting from hidden cameras, both the people who ignored what was happening and those who stepped up to act against it. They would always interview the ones who reacted to find out why they did. As far as reality television goes, this to me was one that had real educational value to it.

Well I think we have seen just about every real world scenario there is to be seen, whatever “What Would You Do?” hasn’t covered Tom Green certainly did back in his early days and while that was comedy it did push the limits of seeing how everyday people react to just ridiculous circumstances. That said Debate is a Lost Art, and I know there are going to be people out there who will read that and scream Debate Teams, Election Debates, The one’s you have seen between scientists and Christians and the thing is all of these are essentially COMPETITIONS and the Winners are determined by others viewing it’s very STRUCTURED RULE SET. I’m talking REAL DEBATE what we want to call debate today when compared to it is like the difference between Kendo and Genuine Sword fighting. First off in REAL DEBATE it is NOT about winning. When both sides are RECEPTIVE ENOUGH it is about each expanding their ideology through the EXCHANGE OF IDEAS. There is such a resistance in this age to the notion of exchanging idea’s. It’s like everybody wants to believe THEY ARE RIGHT. Let’s look at some of the reasons. First: It’s a matter of having a fixed and set belief system, this is something people cling to even during the times it does not make sense or even apply to the situation. It’s just easier to stick to your guns than adopt an idea from another person….especially if you disagree with most everything they say. Second: FEAR of anything that goes against your grain. FEAR is one of those things that exists to trigger Survival mode in our minds to make it easier to overcome obstacles, but it can also be it’s own obstacle when left unchecked.When we fear the result of being “WRONG” we become resistant to ACCEPTING the idea’s of others. Third: I have basically already covered in saying that we have twisted the idea of what debate is into being a COMPETITION, when you think DEBATE you automatically go into defense/offense mode in the belief that it is something that you can or have to WIN. When we do this we forsake accepting the ideas of others in the belief that as opponents their ideas are something to be BEATEN, not adopted.

One more thing before I go into the particulars of my little social experiment. In light of it being the holiday season and a time of gifting I will leave a few links to where you can find the albums of the band whose music played a key role in it. As you will see I give them Hell, but everyone is has the right to FORM their opinion and honestly my Biggest reason lies in the fact that you can’t run a social experiment without openly stirring the shit pot to get the ball rolling on it. If my results are any indication of the type of people this bands music inspire, believe me when I tell you I would see it all go triple platinum.

It started with just the right search of words on Youtube about a week ago. I happened across the EP Fuck Your Emotional Bullshit by an emo band called Snowing.  2 minutes in and I’m shaking my head trying to discern the lyrics over the cacophony of sounds that just bombard you when you are listening to this. SO I Google the lyrics and what I found was some fairly smart points regarding the sort of things that both cause strong emotion, but also beat people down into a state of emotional numbness. Okay, so for me it was sort of like Nirvana. Some of their songs you could follow what was being said some of it I had to wonder if there was even real words in there when I listened, but if you look at the songs as they are written it is exactly what everyone says it is…Genius. So naturally this is what I commented. (Click Images to see in full size)


With the open challenge issued all I had to do was sit back and wait for the responses, if there would be any, to come in. The first did almost immediately and I was impressed by what was actually just a fan who stated his own opinion and that was it. No fight, nothing more than a trade of opinions. So I’m thinking, Alright there are people who get it. People who don’t take such things too personally. I’m cool with that.

The second response came the next day and truthfully it was of a type that I expected, because it is  a very common type of response when someone says something that someone else does not like.

The Third response came the day after. this was one that I had expected sooner in the chain, more like first or second, because it is becoming more and more common a response in this day and age. It is the response I call The Care Bear response and I know if you have read much of anything I have written in the last four years then you know my take on The Care Bear response. And not to my surprise this one actually became an exchange. Because I am a Debater and as such I push the envelop, this makes me like oil to this type of person’s water. They tend to be the ones I ultimately rub the wrong way the most. This is also one of the best type of responses to start switching gears on to show a different side to the argument that you present.

Things went eerily quiet after that for a few days and for a moment I allowed myself to think that my little experiment had run it’s course with little real success. I was wrong. The fourth response was exactly what I had been most expecting and I was glad that it was actually the fourth in line because I had already sewed the seeds for changing up the argument altogether. As you will find what came AFTER this response was EXACTLY the thing that had made this a success. What you see here is the ANGRY RESPONSE. You will note that mine comes back even more harsh. The reason for this was so that if he looked back over how I responded to the others he would see a distinct difference in my demeanor versus how I mirrored his own. Keep an eye on this guy because he will show up later as well.

Remember when I said that I have a way of rubbing those with The Care Bear response the wrong way? Well guess who popped back up. and with that a new exchange was begun until it was suddenly stopped cold……Not by me and not by the guy with The Care Bear response, but by the one who initially had The ANGRY RESPONSE. Check it out.

There, RIGHT THERE was the moment my whole reason for stirring the shit pot. Suffice to say from this point forward My responses to others took on a different tone altogether. It makes no sense to continue being the person who stirs the shit pot once you found someone with a sense of reason who is capable of listening and learning from what others have to say. Doing so would then become COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. So it was when the fifth type of response came around The Innocent of any real insult, but questioning of how someone can stir that shit pot so willingly I honestly found how the girl put it hilarious and so I decided to take the path of adding to the comic relief.

Last came the type of response that I actually had hoped for but had not expected at all. This one came out swinging with an actual argument against my original statement, and a fairly well thought out argument at that. It all comes down to what a person takes personal, and in my own response I point out a lighter side to taking criticism and an appreciation for the thought put into coming back at my arguments.

Now for the point where I ACCEPT a few things of my own. Admittedly it I still find this music a bit of an acquired taste, but if we are being honest there are MANY reasons to come to really like something. For me I have to say this music offered an experience for me that I was not expecting through just the pure diversity of the people and their mind sets who listen to it. They are cool people. And this band are some real bad asses for bringing that together, I haven’t yet listened to the rest of what they have done, but knowing myself…I have Taylor Swift songs that I like…….I can’t STAND Taylor Swift, no offense to her. LOL It is very unlikely that I will not find something of theirs that I listen to repeatedly. With that I became the 873rd person to like their video…You know, the one I bitched about.

….. Why did I do all of this? It’s simple. Get online, any social media outlet, watch the news…..All 15 versions of it, listen to the people around you. What have we heard lately? A mess of LABEL THROWING, Left wingers, Right wingers, We protest this, we’re boycotting you because you protested it. It seems like we are living in a society that is dead set on being divisive, with a lack of OPENNESS that can’t help but make you wonder if there is truly ANY HOPE of repairing the rift. and you can say, at least Americans can, that it’s our current President’s fault and while he has been a huge factor, we were getting that way for a long time already, even before he decided to run for office. Partisan politics, are only a symptom of the REAL PROBLEM. Hell I have a page on here thanking Eminem for his music and what it did to keep me motivated and moving forward, but I don’t really listen to that much now and the reason is because he recently chimed in with a freestyle rap against the president. I agree with most everything he said in that freestyle, I laughed about a lot of it and then he did one of the dumbest things. He laid out an ultimatum to the people who listened to his music……. You can’t side with one and the other, you can’t walk the fence. In that moment the DUMB SON OF A BITCH BECAME THE SAME PROBLEM AS THE OTHER GUY. He essentially fed into the DIVISION of our people and THAT I am SO NOT COOL WITH. If your idea of fixing the problem is just setting people up like chess pieces for a battle you refuse to find, Hell to even bother to LOOK for an alternative path to, it’s on you too. I did this because with as IRREPARABLY DIVIDED as people seem intent on staying in this day and age it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to show, even in such a small form, that  as UGLY as OPEN DIALOGUE can be in it’s beginning stages, when people are OPEN ENOUGH the EXCHANGE of IDEAS is integral to our GROWTH, both as a person and as a people. Happy Holiday Season to All.




I know some of you are probably reading half this shit and thinking Oh My God! What’s wrong with this dude? To which my only answer I have listed your answer along with each time period that they took effect, to show how the shit just kept piling on. Put yourself in my position. 16 year relationship, 8 of those years were a marriage coming to a bitter close.  Facing a felony charge as an outsider, in a small town court system. ( What I haven’t gotten around to explaining yet is how my case just got shunted off to 3 three public defenders, so that damn near every time I went to their office I had to explain every fucking thing all over again. Oh yeah A riverbank was my bed for awhile too. and even more that I have not come to. I dare you not to be pissed at the whole fucking world, or not blow your brains out when the devil on your left shoulder looks to the angel on your right and all it can do is wince and shrug like “This is bad, I don’t have shit for you.” None of that’s the point. The point is… FUCK IT just read this.


Do you ever wonder what makes people feel alone? In my experience it’s fear of being judged, we have this inane idea in our heads that it is some kind of MORTAL SIN to admit when you miss a step, you know, call yourself by the title human. OOOOOO Scary ain’t it? We try so hard to hide that shit when there isn’t any way, we’re really just fooling ourselves and all out of worry of what others might think. If we ever pulled our heads out of our asses long enough to stop running around like fucking chickens with their heads cut off, we might actually see that we are ALL running around like fucking chickens with our heads cut off. As it stands we can say EVERYONE has their issues, that you are not the only one dealing with fallout from a fuck up you made. But we don’t hold it in our hearts do we? Very few take the risk that would make them something the average fucking person could relate to because no one wants that target on their back. As such we find ourselves shocked when that person who smiles at us and laughs at our jokes to our faces, goes behind a locked door and puts a shotgun in their mouths, because, we never saw it coming. Last year I made a choice, however unpopular it may have been. I got sick of being in the dark corner I ALLOWED myself to be kept in (and by my own choice as well not just my ex wife’s doing.) I said fuck it and jumped in about the biggest fucking bonfire I could find. (Because I’m me, I can’t do any fucking thing the easy way.) I told you that you were going to hate me or you were going to love me, but there was not going to be ANOTHER in my life who could say they did not KNOW me. I’m a man of my word. I have since OPENLY talked about legal issues, divorce, you got the blow by blow of my long walk that landed me in the hospital, you got my reflections on everything from psych meds, to love, to family, what I care about and stand for, what pisses me off to no end, what I geek on, when I fuck up majorly and in goofy ass ways, Hell I even turned my homeless stint into a fucking Mr. Rogers educational field trip just to show you what the other side lives like. For that choice I made, I have taken shit from family, friends, care bears who can’t grasp that light without dark is JUST as blinding as PITCH BLACK, assholes who wanted an excuse to hate me so they could go on believing they weren’t pieces of shit for turning away. For all intents and purposes I have offered my life in Truman Show fashion, because despite what some may think is negative about the choice I made, there might be a few out there reading this who actually feel better about someone being willing to open up enough to that degree, that they really do get that they are not the only ones suffering through day to day life, or have sadness or anger issues while dealing with it. People need people they can honestly relate to and it does work best when it is someone they know, someone they know they can turn to, so they don’t have to feel alone. It isn’t nor should it be taboo to want to be there for the people who need to know that it is ALRIGHT to be human.


You see I have come out the other side of all this bullshit and have reached that point where the only way I can even make any of it make sense to me is to use it for others like me. You will see how that came about too in this ongoing narrative, but right now I would like to go ahead state a purpose for this blog beyond just what you have just read. Let me state once more YES I will pimp my other writings on here, you see volunteer stuff is great but I’m not that financially stable yet, at least I’m not begging without having put the work in already. 😀 However the bigger this blog itself becomes I will be looking into running unobtrusive ads for others on here, the money received from that as well as what ever work from the blog itself I want to publish and sell will go into a fund to help those in need, people like I was during this bullshit. This blog, as venomous as it might read at times is meant as my way of giving back to the people who need that understanding the most.