Peace

All posts tagged Peace

In my last post in The Book of The Redeemed Jedi: The Resolving of The Gray Through Refined Jedi Sight, I ran an online social experiment on You Tube in which I left a Negative comment on a video and sat back to see what kind of reactions I would get from it. It went far better than I had ever hoped for, the sheer diversity of mindsets that responded was a testament to the variety of people the music in the video reached. I had: The Fan with their own opinion, The Cookie Cutter response that assumed meaning without thought, The Care Bear who believed that nothing negative should be said, The Angry Response, The innocent question of reasoning, and The Developed Argument Response. The link is above, I think many of you may be surprised by the plot twists and the outcome of that little experiment. It was done to show the VALUE of questioning people’s comfort zones as a way of getting them to think about actions and beliefs they show that even they may not be aware of to EXCHANGE IDEAS. As such, I used what many these days who are so easily OFFENDED would consider a DARK SIDE TACTIC.

The first part was to show how an EXCHANGE of IDEAS to promote growth as a person and as a people, no matter how ugly, frustrating and painful OPEN DIALOGUE can be, in it’s early going. This second part is designed to show you the importance of MEDIATION for a Civilization that is growing more and more divided, and not just in the realm of Politics and Social Justice as you will see when we get into this. So YES, this time I am using a LIGHT SIDE TACTIC to direct attention outward to a more common place issue and what I have come to feel in this case is THE REAL PROBLEM, when seen in context to how our “World Works” I think we’ll find it is something of a root problem with civilization in general. And with that I will begin.

It was one of the most anticipated movies of the year, by both fans and box offices alike as they have taken a hit and would still go on to end 2017 at a loss. You might say that “The Last Jedi” was looked upon as a New Hope……I’m terrible, I know. Heh heh The teaser dropped in April during the Annual Star Wars Celebration convention, and it got everyone in a frenzy. The visuals were as stunning as you would have expected, being both Star Wars and a Rian Johnson film. Anyone familiar with his work on the series Breaking Bad could attest to the fact that beyond the compelling story and characters, literally almost every shot in that show, looked like an art piece you would find in a gallery. The teaser also gave us a rather attention grabbing cryptic line by one of the Legendary characters of the original trilogy. It was HOT! Geeks set about the rather fun task of trying to put the puzzle pieces together creating theories, People hoped that some of the issues with “The Force Awakens would get fixed or at least explained.. (Cough, cough Mary Sue) Some people had the problem that it was the start of REPEATING the same movies, though honestly, beyond the first in each trilogy spending roughly 45 minutes on a desert planet at some point, Dialogue has been the biggest recurring theme. I saw one critic bash the fact that The First Order was a repeat of The Empire….I always viewed it as an extension, after all The Sith had built quite a network over the course of 1000 years and given their knack for secrecy, it was not a stretch to believe that the emperor had a place where all the wealth and know how of that network would be funneled to in case of fire. 😀 For all we knew at that point Palpatine himself may have just been the apprentice and face man of the Sith. Aside from such things like that, the idea that this one would predictably be the darker film, simply because Empire was the darker film of the original trilogy, never really set with me, because it was like people FORGOT there was ANOTHER trilogy and in that one, it was the THIRD film that was the darkest. Like somehow bringing back the original characters automatically meant it would repeat THAT process. Yet unlike A New Hope it ended with a cliffhanger. Suffice to say, I liked “The Force Awakens”  What annoyed me really was not that big of an issue, save for Rey, but I liked her, and there was much we did not get to know, so I forgave a lot, but reserved the right to readdress her as an issue, if she was not explained and STILL was TOO POLLY PERFECT……..Because that WOULD BE PISS POOR STORYTELLING given that everyone else in the series had been grounded and solid. This leads me to the next rant people had over what they saw as the bastardization of Han and Leia…..The bad parents….Okay the bad parents element was a little bit of a slap to who those characters were when we last saw them, but if we are being honest, given the TYPE of people they were prior to meeting, that was NOT a relationship that would have lasted outside of war time….I’m sorry. The fact that getting involved and taking a strong leadership position in the rebellion like Leia, was really the ONLY THING that put Han on par with her as an equal. Okay, war is over, now you have to rebuild a political structure, Leia was the adopted daughter of a politician and herself had served in the Imperial Senate before it was disbanded. Given the type of person she was OF COURSE she would have moved on from the war to REBUILD that political structure, which is one Hell of a time consuming task. War is over…….What does the former smuggler/survivor do? You could not see Han being a politician, he was NEVER able to negotiate his way through ANYTHING. What does he do with out the war? Sit at home eating Cheetos and watching holovid porn? We know in the real world that when these types of people get together, without the personality of one consuming the other and in this case would have clearly been Han throwing his hands up at everything and automatically ALWAYS saying She’s the boss, he would have reached that point of being tired of always being second to the woman he loved and he would have been going out and screwing around. THAT’S REALITY! Having them still be together WOULD have made it more of a Disney film to me personally.

SDCC came around mid-summer as always and the official Trailer dropped…..Here began the first real rumblings of descension among fans……Porgs. The certainty that Disney was twisting Star Wars to be like every other Disney movie. I had this problem with the Ewok haters too. You DO REALIZE this series was designed with a family element in mind and so there were SUPPOSED to be things in it for the little ones as well as the older lot? Say that and then they bitched that it was only for merchandising purposes…… Of ALL the corporate tactics to make big bucks, that actually FUCK PEOPLE OVER, doing a merchandise plug to sell toys from a high merchandise friendly movie being released around Christmas…..Is NOT one you will ever hear me bitch about. I actually do view that as SMART BUSINESS as long as what they do does not fall outside of the realm of can exist within Star Wars, therefore does not screw with the storytelling. There are too many other business practices that DESERVE CRITICISM, and Yes, we will be getting into that as Disney DID actually start pulling stunts with “The Last Jedi” that was GRATUITOUS and represented NOTHING but GREED. We will also be covering The REAL LIES beneath film fantasy, namely this idea of presenting “DIVERSITY” as though it were ever anything NEW to Star Wars. Let’s face it for starters NOTHING THAT multi generational, on an INTERNATIONAL LEVEL for 40+ years, does not REPRESENT DIVERSITY in NUMBERS of the people who have been drawn to it ALONE…But I am getting a little ahead of myself.

Did Mark Hamill make the fans a little nervous, especially those who had an off opinion of “The Force Awakens”…….Yeah, he did a little bit, but honestly his questioning how his character was going to be portrayed could not cast as bad a shadow over the film prior to release as the manner in which Disney decided to increase intake from ticket sells by an additional 5% over what most films take for the studio, they added to this with a list of stipulations for all theaters that ran the film. These included forcing the theaters to run the film for a full 4 weeks in their largest auditorium, and any violation of the stipulations in this contract would result in Disney taking 70% of the ticket sells. I will leave the link to the article from  Business Insider that explained the contract in detail for those who were unaware of it.

http://www.businessinsider.com/disney-requirements-to-show-star-wars-the-last-jedi-in-theaters-2017-11 

Here is another article on the topic run by Mashable, this is just to show you, I do look at more than one thing when researching.

http://mashable.com/2017/11/01/star-wars-last-jedi-theaters-disney/#J76ipQ6ZnOqO

The general consensus was that theaters did not take it very well and some SMALLER THEATERS refused to show the film out right, because it stood to cost them more than help them. This move seemed a little heavy handed and GREED based, a little too much so for the ideology of behind the creator of Disney’s intent, especially for a film that was going to make them A LOT……and HAS, regardless of what anyone actually thinks of it……Not ALL CHANGE is for the best.

Disney would follow this up with a ban against LA Times reporters from advance screenings of their movies, based on a two part expose run by the paper on the tax breaks Disneyland gets from the city of Anaheim, California. This ban caused a lot of backlash and was withdrawn after papers and critics groups alike stood in boycott of reviewing ALL Disney films in a show of solidarity to the LA Times. This incident took place just mere days following the news of the before mentioned theater contract. So right there we had Disney themselves in the span of a week casting their own SHADOWS over their future films. This was 6 weeks, give or take, from ‘The Last Jedi” opening, The DAY BEFORE that opening Disney made it’s move to buy up most of 20th Century Fox. On the heels of such bad coverage, Disney announces a deal that would give reign over many other popular properties. Predator, Aliens, X-Men, Deadpool…… I am NOT sure if X Files is counted in that. So now we have a DIFFERENT look at the NEGATIVE Backlash. Let’s face it kids “Subsidiary” and “Holding company” are legal terms that make up THE LOOPHOLE that essentially ALLOWS MONOPOLY, which is ILLEGAL. Has No one thought that this sort of thing acts as an undertone to SUCH EXPLOSIVE BACKLASH?

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2017/11/disney-abandons-la-times-blacklist-after-backlash-from-film-critics/

I’m not going to to link the article on Disney buying Fox, because It’s a DONE DEAL at this point and EVERYONE knows I wasn’t making that up.

Midnight showing time………The internet LIT UP, and I mean LIT UP. Immediately the war between the people who loved the film and the people who hated it was declared. I have listened to both sides, have heard and seen some hefty accusations, some PURE HATRED from both sides and of course A LOT of PISS POOR EXCUSES, and POLITICAL SPIN from Disney, Lucasfilm, Rian Johnson and other Disney, Lucasfilm supporters for ALL OF IT…..That goes back to that whole, the REAL LIE that has been what has gotten on my nerves, even more than the bickering.

Some call this the WORST STAR WARS FILM EVER MADE. Some call this THE BEST STAR WARS FILM EVER MADE. Where do I fall on this…….It took me A LONG TIME to come to this one and it became the reason I am doing this post. As a fan it is THE WORST STAR WARS MOVIE EVER MADE, and I have very different reasons for thinking that than what I have seen from some of the more EXTREME SUPERFANS. To some degree, I DO AGREE with Mark Hamil that Luke was misrepresented. I did NOT feel that way about Han or Leia for the reasons I mentioned, where they ended up still fit a REALISTIC character arc for those two and despite what others say, THEY WERE STILL HEROES. Leia was still fighting the good fight, Han never lost that sense of heroism as he agreed to help Rey and Finn. Yeah Luke got screwed. I know people change in 30 years, but if you are going to have him even entertain the thought of killing his nephew, after risking everything to save his father……Give us A LITTLE MORE BACKSTORY as to what would have led him to do something that was COMPLETELY AGAINST the core of his character. That IS one one of those PISS POOR STORYTELLING moments. I would NOT HAVE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT…..if they had given us a BETTER more BELIEVABLE REASON, for him to go THAT FAR AWAY from who he was. I’m not going to go into they should have done this there or that, This is not a post to rewrite a movie that is done. I am simply pointing out areas where STORYTELLING ELEMENTS were ABUSED, MISUSED, or COMPLETELY IGNORED. Another Luke aspect, He claimed that he had come to that island to die. He did not want to be found etc. etc. THE ENTIRE MAIN PLOT OF “THE FORCE AWAKENS” WAS CENTERED AROUND EVERYONE LOOKING FOR THIS MAP THAT HE LEFT BEHIND! Why Leave a MAP behind if you don’t WANT TO BE FOUND? Well maybe that’s why he broke it up………They don’t have DELETE BUTTONS in Star Wars? And storing it in R2 wouldn’t have been the most inconspicuous place to put the biggest part of that map. Right there barring the missing Knights of Ren sub plot, essentially made this a reboot in the middle of a trilogy. The Matrix Reloaded did a fair share of deconstructing it’s predecessor, but it did NOT DISREGARD IT! It’s deconstruction was to CREATE a sense of drama around the FINALE, REVOLUTIONS, by stripping the heroes AND the audience of this certainty of victory they had because of NEO, just hours before they faced impending doom. It WAS STILL A COHESIVE STORY. Even if Episode 9 can fix certain things, “The Force Awakens” has been successfully DETACHED from this STORY. In NO PART of the originals or prequels did any of them DO THIS! That is simply SLOPPY STORYTELLING. That is NOT a NON ACCEPTANCE OF CHANGE, or if ACCEPTING CHANGE means Watching MY ART of STORYTELLING die just to accommodate projected numbers for a property and not a story, then Yeah I’m a fossil. Everything these films do now, is off of the shoulders of a story that STOOD ON IT’S OWN MERIT. If ACCEPTING CHANGE means that MAKING MONEY allows us to not have to hold ourselves to any REAL STANDARD OF PROFICIENCY, breeding WEAKNESS as a norm….Yeah I’m a fossil. Somethings are just worth more than what GREED can give us. That was my view as a fan and a storyteller and there was more I could cover, but those were the most profound……Besides Mary Sue. Oh yeah there was ONE MORE THING and I will give this post some picture flair for this one.

When market research and projected numbers would have you send a message to girls that tells them.

You are a bad ass simply because of WHAT YOU ARE!

 

NOT WHAT YOU DO.

 

Some CHANGE is NOT for THE BEST. Especially when ALL EVIDENCE POINTS to it not being done for the sake of bettering anything, but rather simply for GREED. Did you hear the one about that woman director Lucasfilm hired?……. Because there is nothing to hear, it HASN’T HAPPENED, but that’s okay you’re AWESOME JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE WOMEN.

It’s great that Kathleen Kennedy and Disney CREATED SUCH Diversity in The Star Wars Universe and can show women doing heroic deeds. Like sacrificing themselves as a decoy to protect a senator who was portrayed by Natalie Portman, a native of Isreal ……Wait that was Mexican actress Veronica Segura in Episode 2 Attack of the Clones….AND that was BEFORE George Lucas sold off the property. Here are a few OTHER examples of why the REAL LIE gets on my nerves.

Anybody remember THIS GUY firing the final shot that destroyed the second Death Star?

OR THIS GUY, who was a SENIOR JEDI MASTER on The Jedi Council second ONLY TO YODA?

I all fairness MOST of the opportunity for DIVERSITY did come from the PREQUELS, such as Jedi Master Depa Billaba, played by Dipika O’Neill Joti a Turkish, Australian of Indian descent.

The list goes on, and if you want to include the EU that Disney, for the most part, threw out the window it too had some pretty impressive females that were strong enough to be adopted by a good bit of the fan base, like Mara Jade, Jaina Solo. DIVERSITY has ALWAYS been a factor. True the original trilogy only gave us ONE woman who was in all three films…….But DENY WHAT SHE DID FOR GENERATIONS………

The Point of the story being about failure is the great teacher. Obi-Wan and Anakin carried that message. That the Jedi needed to change. The Prequels showed us why already. I think this whole lumping EVERYONE in to one category of unable to accept CHANGE falls pretty far from the mark, one could say that WITHOUT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM there can be NO CHANGE.

On the flipside of that STOP SCREAMING SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR! Social issues HAVE always been part of storytelling, in movies, in books, in music. It adds to that element of realism and allows a story to MEAN SOMETHING. This is just SLOPPY USE of these elements and like I have already pointed out is more likely due to projection numbers than ACTUAL BELIEF in any of these SJW views as is CLEAR by the sloppiness. It’s good old fashioned CORPORATE GREED. The spin I have heard to cover for Disney has pit CULTURE against SOCIAL JUSTICE and the more both sides fight, the more BOTH SIDES DIMINISH IN MEANING. I said that as a fan I agreed that it was the WORST Star Wars film ever made. I also made it a point in my last post to say that there are MANY REASONS for someone to like something, even if you don’t. As a person I have to say, This was THE MOST UNIQUE STAR WARS movie, BECAUSE this DIVIDE would go unnoticed in most anything else BUT A STAR WARS MOVIE. I mean if people went ape shit over X-Men…….I don’t think anyone would care, not to this degree. I have pointed out several things that have illustrated my point of VIEW of what I think THE REAL PROBLEM here actually is…… It comes down to GREED. I THINK We FANS are finally seeing the toll it is taking on our CULTURAL ICONS Like Star Wars. I mean OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING if you can sink 200 million in to a budget and accept a movie that has this many plot holes and detaches it’s predecessor from the story as your finished product, you LACK STANDARDS. That is a FAILURE of GREED.

When you can blame FANS and HAVE TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR SLOPPY WORK.

That is a FAILURE of GREED.

When you “CARE” SO MUCH ABOUT DIVERSITY, that you SACRIFICE the ART of STORYTELLING and not only make your leading character NOTHING anyone can relate to and create plot devices that nullify the heroics of your female leaders for a big eye candy scene, that could have happened earlier and would not have required any sacrifices if auto pilot was used and would have saved ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE GETTING PICKED OFF ALL ALONG. You made your Admiral look like an idiot who cost more lives than Poe. Thumbs Up for WOMEN!

That is a FAILURE of GREED.

You know, other side, If I can’t agree that it’s the best, I can damn sure say that it may just be THE MOST IMPORTANT STAR WARS MOVIE EVER MADE…..For how it’s MESSAGE of FAILURE Mirrors REALITY. I think we ALL have a common enemy. What is your take on REAL CHANGE?

 

 

After my experience in the hospital my demeanor took a turn towards calmly determined, My divorce got finalized and I managed to get a job that payed roughly 100 dollars a day. With things looking like I might be able to bounce back after all I took the time to start setting up a plan for the future, deciding that until I knew otherwise, I would continue acting like I was going to stay a free man. I started once more keeping up with my actor’s page, developing a plan to go nomad in van that was customized to be my mobile headquarters, as I traveled between any acting jobs I might come across. It was also at this time the plan and the groundwork was being laid for this very blog. I was set to make a come back.

 

 

March 13th

Updates: (cause we all love those) Stupidity, dealt with. Crisis of Faith, Averted. Pneumonia, kicked out of my system by antibiotics that felt like they did more to kick my ass this last week than the illness itself. Work, found. Now it’s time to kick this bad worlds ass, and take my rightful place in it. 😀

Comments

TH: So glad things are moving in the right direction for you. That sleeping bag is out there somewhere ..and when you find it…hang onto it 😀

Shayne: I’m content with having enough fight in me to be able to say, that if I don’t find one I’ll weave one out of vines and leaves. I said it many times when you come from nothing you learn how to take your victories when and where you can get them. 😉

NC:  I am so happy for you that a job was found. Looks like things are falling into place for you. Keep us updated.

CL: Glad to hear you are doing better keep I touch

 

March 14th

For me, music has never been about what you know or see, but about what you feel. And in all honesty it’s time for a new theme that actually fits a lot better with my personal journey, because lets face it, in our heads our lives very much do come with their own soundtracks. And yes, I do intend to shove this one in yo face, because it really is a damn good song.

Lost Innocence :
I’ve been blessed and I’ve been cursed.
I’ve done my best and seen the worst.
I’ve been cruel and I’ve been kind.
I’ve followed rules and crossed the line.
Well I’ve been loved and I’ve been hated.
I’ve been trapped, then liberated.
I’ve been bad and I’ve been good.
My words misread, then understood, yeah.

Lost innocence, trying to get back to where I used to be.
Lost innocence, hoping that there’s something waiting for me.
Lost innocence, have I even learned a single useful thing
or have I lost, in a sense?

I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak.
I’ve learned to turn the other cheek.
I’ve been shown and I’ve been blind.
I’ve said my peace, then changed my mind.
Well I’ve been lost and I’ve been found.
I’ve built things up, then burned them down.
I’ve been wrong and I’ve been right.
I’ve saved the day, then spent the night, yeah.

Lost innocence, trying to get back to where I used to be.
Lost innocence, hoping that there’s something waiting for me.
Lost innocence, have I even learned a single useful thing
or have I lost, in a sense?

I’ve been drunk and I’ve been sober.
I’ve tied one on and pulled one over.
I’ve been rude, I’ve been polite.
Been right on time, then missed the flight.
I’ve been sick and I’ve been well
at Heaven’s gate and on the road to Hell.
Well, I’ve been smooth and I’ve been rough.
I’ve wanted more, then had enough, yeah.

Lost innocence, trying to get back to where I used to be.
Lost innocence, hoping that there’s something waiting for me.
Lost innocence, have I even learned a single useful thing
or have I lost, in a sense?

Have I lost innocence? – Eric Stuart Band

Comments

RN:  Shayne Workman sometimes the best music at times like this are the songs that speak of new beginnings. The past is just that- pasted.
Brother you can’t move forward if you keep looking back all the time. I’ve been through divorce enough to know that t
he only way to go- is to let it go and carry on with your new life. Drama and emotions are going to work against you- and others will play into it then blame you. Why set yourself up? T H I N K- P L E A S E ?!?!?

RB: Way to go shayne

Shayne: Duly noted. I’ve had that wonderful experience where in the process of walking away for the sake of diffusing a bad situation, I got chased down and dogged. And while I can honestly say I should have had enough sense to keep walking, once the tilt occurs it becomes increasingly harder to stop it, especially when someone is well schooled in what buttons to push. Next thing you know, you go from having the sense to try to cool things down, to getting pulled right back into the Jerry Springer retard club of getting all in each others faces screaming over bullshit that ultimately doesn’t matter. But alas I am also in the sorting phase now, where I have to honestly decide what is mine to claim, both good and bad, or the only new beginning I can hope for will just be a reboot of the same cycle that has already almost cost me everything. I have a gift in my ability to admit wrong doing and see it for what it is, but I have also seen myself be that 7 year old brat even now that has directed my frustrations on others who were not the cause, just so they know what it feels like to be as cut off and meaningless as I have been. It’s a dangerous spot for me because I have one of the worst downfalls in over analyzing shit. So the warning is most appreciated. I do have to make sure I don’t get stuck in the process, that could screw me just as bad and as fast as overlooking an obvious flaw.

 

March 16th

“IT’S ALIVEEEE!! IT’S ALIVEE!!!!………(sigh) But why does the fucking thing keep walking face first into the wall?”

Just a reminder, wise man says: look for the humor and you will find the enjoyment, even in the worst of times..  <( I was feeling better about things at this point clearly.)

Psychologists don’t seem to know what to think when you break their terms out on them, during psych evals. Why no, I learned absolutely nothing from those college text books I payed 2 dollars for at Goodwill. 😀

 

March 21st

I have sat at a moral crossroads for awhile now and am not ashamed to admit, I don’t know which way to go, so if anyone’s listening, here goes. Forgiveness is divine or so it has been said, but what do you do when it has a way of interfering with common sense? Forgiving is one thing, but what does it change if anything in a case where logic dictates that, now that I have finally found it in myself to admit that I have earned better than connecting myself to someone that I am always in a state of disadvantage with, no matter what I do? Is there a compromise and if so, is it worth it? I would do anything for anyone that I could, but as you all well know, piss me off and I become the very definition of Asshole. Where do I draw the line between hard ass and door mat? I honestly don’t know, I was hoping for some thoughts on this, to give me a different perspective.

Comments

AMJ:  I believe forgiveness has very little to do with the person you are forgiving and more to do with you, and clearing the space in your mind and soul. Why allow anyone to take up space that you could use for your own purpose or goals. It’s like having a non-paying tenant you don’t want around. Forgive and move on from it. As for connecting with that person or anyone who doesn’t allow you to be yourself or to move forward is detrimental to your own well being physically, mentally and spiritually. As much as we want things to work sometimes, or to find a way to work around the other persons issues so that we aren’t in that state of disadvantage there really isn’t any way without compromising ourselves. In that case it’s better to just walk away with a clean slate knowing you’ve done all you can do than to continue on in a way that’s unhealthy for everyone involved. Did that make any sense?

TH: Shayne. Forgiveness is not for the other person, its for yourself. So you don’t have to carry the burden of a grudge. You can forgive someone for what they’ve done or do but don’t allow yourself to be abused or taken advantage of. There is a balance. If you know in your heart you will always be at a disadvantage w someone you can limit your contact w them but still love and accept them.for who and what they are.

CL: Dearest shayne I think that I couldn’t have put it better my self forgive and forget and move on with a clean mind and heart

Shayne: Thank you all for the assist, before my damn fool ass went and did something I would most likely regret. I have compromised myself enough, Fuck doing that anymore for any one, it’s my turn now. They’ll just have to get over their loss.

BW: Forgiveness is 4 urself but it makes peace within u, that makes u a better person

 

March 24th

Well that sucked, in a mix-up that is actually becoming more rare as I regain my ability to think straight, I missed my ride to work this morning, damn and here I thought it would be because I overslept the first time, but no I was even up since 5 this morning. So I guess I will play grounds keeper today, you know vacuum, laundry, all that fun shit, I kind of see it as practice anyway, I mean when I finally do get my own place, who the fuck is going to do any of that shit but me anyway. 😀

Is it Supernatural? Actually no, I was thinking of E. the 60 year old homeless man who I had a rather in depth conversation with the night I went back to the ER, standing out side at the very bus stop that I collapsed in the night before having made it back from Jefferson. ( Yeah I did actually have enough pride not flop in the middle of porn land, besides I knew I didn’t have enough left in me to make it anywhere really, and the only true requisite I set for myself was to go until I dropped, and I did. ) As i stood there getting my last 3 maybe 4 cigarettes in before the ER ( because the smartest thing in the world for someone with Pneumonia to do, is stand in 38 degree weather at night smoking.) I was told about how common my story was, from a man who lives on the streets, has two kids in jail and grandson that he can’t reach out to because he has no means of contacting his kids in jail. I learned some shits 1: If trouble is what I seek, return from whence I came. 2 Keep pushing yourself, and never bow to this world we live in. and 3 The streets ain’t no fuckin place to live. I needed that. <( This was written with a shared video from Youtube of “Carry on Wayward Son)

Trying to decide, whether or not I should stay or go once all my legal bullshit gets straightened out. Maybe I’m just feeling the constraints of being bound to this place, but then I was brought here from the place where I was familiar with everything, after my mother’s death. I have to wonder after everything can I really call this home? At this point there is even less holding me here, than there would be anywhere else. And lets be honest while I did declare my independence here, is that only because I did not go any farther? This place, for all the memories and time spent trying to build or rebuild anything, this place has never been anything for me but misery and loss, what the fuck would be the point?

Comments

NC: I am of the opinion that moving on when a place has nothing more to offer me is a good hing. At some point, I realized a move in location could be better, but couldn’t possibly be worse than where I experienced only stress and unhappiness.

Shayne: Moving on does kind of sound nice. One of these damn days I might finally get my eco mud hut I keep talking about out in the desert. <( I will explain this one more later, but for prelude, I call this move The Ben Kenobi Initiative designed for when I get so fucking sick of the world that I opt to live the rest of my days a hermit in the desert. Oh it has also been started at this point as well.)

JBL: The desert is nice. 😀

AMJ:  Sometimes its hard, or better said, nearly impossible to let go of everything that’s familiar to head into the unknown but more times than not its exactly what one needs to do not only for their physical, mental or financial well being but for their soul. Just look to the wind lil’ brother, listen and allow it to show you that path. Its a journey that you alone have to face and decide upon. And I have no doubt that once you hear your calling you will make the right decisions and you will prevail. Btw an eco mud hut sounds kewl! I wanna come visit for coffee when you get it done 😉

 

March 26th

I repeat: Money may not buy happiness, but it sure as Hell can grant you a lack of misery.

Revolution like Immortality comes in many forms……… Just thought you should know.

It’s hard to grasp the concept of Peace in a time of struggle, I have tried, and honestly, one day I might get to where I’m Buddha enough to have a heart full of forgiveness, but for now I got to do the best I can with what I have. I was thinking sly mirth as a substitute for hatred for the time being, which simply means I don’t let what was done bother me, but I will giggle my ass off at the motherfuckers who done it when it bites them on the ass. (shrugs) Is that good enough for the stage I’m in right now?

Comments

RN:  Nope!!! You ARE BETTER THEN THAT Shayne Workman! Mind over matter. Make up your mind to focus on what really matters- and the past has passed and it should be totally left behind. You deserve a clean free start.

CL: That’s great for stage 1 But I know you are better than those who have wronged you I have to say one day karma will have its way with them love you shayne

Shayne: I know. I know. Sounds pretty damn good though. I got another way around it…. 😀  This one just seemed easier.

 

March 30th

I don’t know if you noticed but things have been a little different for me since I had my moment of clarity a few weeks back.

Every one has those moments when you just need to set the clock to zero again. Since doing so, I have built a reasonably workable plan, aided now by actual income. My legal shit is still going, for now, but that isn’t going to last much longer and I will not go down to that bullshit. So that is just a waiting game for it to end now.

Personally the past is over and gone. I however wasn’t put on this Earth to save the fucking children, nor am I here to cater to or kiss the asses of backstabbers…. No matter what piss poor, pathetic excuse one may have to justify something that can’t be justified. The door will be open for some, All I ask for is that fucking me over not be your first or intentional purpose. Those who know me, know that I am loyal beyond reason, and am good at being a resource for many things. If these are worthwhile traits to you, they are still part of me, I don’t give up strengths, I just find ways to overcome weakness. Accept what I offer or accept that I am dead to you in all capacities and leave me be, my time on a lower link on this food chain is almost up.

Home is where ever the fuck I am, and home does not mean that I can’t go where the money is and return with resources that can be used as a benefit to all. My plan now involves such notions, reviving my acting/ directing page is a part of that. I never gave WV a fair shot to be my home, but I do realize the realities that with out capitol it is a place far too easy to fall into the two party trap of too stupid to leave or too stuck to move. So it will be my homestead but I am making list of places that will be my work front.

Freedom acquired
Good and bad sorted
Course is plotted
The road ahead doesn’t look so long anymore.

 

 

Damn son, looking back on it now, I have to say my experience at the hospital really did give me the hope needed to stabilize myself, this was the most calm I had been since before August of 2012. I was going to need it, the hardest damn part of my journey was still to come. Soon you will learn of The Vagabond King.