Well fuck it. Rather then sit and mope over being cooped up here alone, I want to take a moment to reflect on what I have to be thankful for. I have a list, I know, me, list, thankfulness, positivity,sounds like another one of my fucking fables to me. LOL
1. I’m still fucking here to be writing this, now that may sound like a cheap give me considering everyone says how thankful they are to be alive, but for me there were times this year, that I REALLY did not know if I was going to make it this far. I did and I’m glad
2. Thankful for the people who stayed, in all of their capacities and ways. I would not have made it this far otherwise.
3. I’m thankful for the FIRE I somehow managed to conjure up not only to survive,but to take the steps toward actually getting ahead, for the sake of having a future that can be seen and wanted.
4.Let’s give the devils their due here, I’m thankful for the haters, the ones who tried to end my ass and the ones who turned away. They pissed me off enough to WANT to stay around and annoy the fuck out of them and rub my come back in their faces.
5. I’m thankful for the outcome of my legal issues, I still say it’s bullshit, but considering what most outsiders get in small hick town courthouses I got off light and still have my freedom.
6. I’m thankful for the teachers, who are still guiding me towards being that better kind of asshole than most, even if it is STILL taking more work than I thought it would.
7. I’m thankful for the family, blood and not, I remember the value of that now after having lost sight of it for so damn long.
8. I’m thankful for the beaten, the strangers who showed me through strength of character that not all the human race is a piece of shit when I needed most to see that and for giving me one more thing to fight for.
9. I’m thankful for the last two years for kicking my ass so far into the dirt and leaving me alive, that I learned how to let go of fear of life. For my survival through it has given truth to my wise birds words. “Should you rise, never again will you have a reason to doubt yourself.”
10. I’m thankful for the spark of LOVE I have somehow managed to maintain. Without it the hate would have consumed my ass and there would be NO HOPE of a BETTER FUTURE.
11. I am thankful for the people who are starting to see and understand what I have been trying to do. They are the ones who will aid me in building that better future that I can share with you as much as I have the bullshit that has led to this moment. That will be the day it opens the rest of the eyes to the value of what I have fought for.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone, or as I have, in the past been fond of calling it Treacherous Honky Holiday. – Love BIG CAT